Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Read, But Not Dead

2011-10-26_read I wrote yesterday's Better Read Than Dead from my perspective based on my personal experiences being out in public en femme.

Your mileage may vary and probably will.

It is not a utopia out there... far from it. In some parts of the world, including right here in the good old USA, being read could result in your demise. The list of transwomen who have met their death after being read is not a short list and is not an old list; new names are added to the list too frequently.

Despite the bravado I expressed yesterday about being out en femme, I am very careful. When I am out en femme, I think like a woman thinks when she is out and about.

Thinking like a man won't cut it and may get you in trouble.

Anyone who plans to go out in public en femme should read an article like The Top Ten Things Every Woman Should Know about Personal Safety. Written by Darren and Beth Laur, their first tip is one of the things I am referring to.

"The first, and probably most important, component in self-defence is awareness: awareness of yourself, your surroundings, and your potential attacker’s likely strategies."

I urge you to read the entire article. But don't let it dissuade you from going out en femme; instead, use it to educate yourself so that when you do go out en femme, you will have your wits about you and you will be safe.


  1. Wonderful Stana!
    Rules we all need to live by and well written by you.

  2. I agree. When out en femme, one has to be extra careful. I have considered carrying mace spray with me just in case but luckily my outings have been in broad day light and I have not felt threatened in any way- so far so good. Always be self aware and remember, it is much harder to run in high heels ;)

  3. Thank you Stana for sharing this very important concern and "awareness". No one needs to be a victim of any kind of harassment or violence. I hope your advice and the article helps others.

    It is absolutely true that the first thing any violent person looks for is the element of surprise. When walking from my car to any place my keys are always in my hand ignition key between my index and ring finger. I also look around a lot, not in a manner of fright, but in a curious and upbeat way, like I'm in charge of my surroundings. Making eye contact acknowledging everyone around or in the room in a manner that is not aggressive, but aware.

    I'm also one of those people that believes many different kinds of people often put themselves in bad places for bad reasons with less then good intentions. This is the opposite of awareness it's lack of responsibility and civility in their life, being honest and prideful in your persona with morals and common sense (I.E. "Your gut feelings")is valid defense mechanism. Not considering those important life rules, should always be recognized as why some violence occur. My mom always said nothing good ever happens after midnight. Not allowing our sexual drive to put us in places we can't handle is one of our first responsibilities being as honest as we can in situations is the second. Less violence always happens when people are prideful and respectful.

  4. Sage advice, Stana! I read the article you mentioned AFTER you wrote this and I believe we "tranny's" need more women like you! I happen to be one who can not allow things to wear on me and stop me from being the female I am! I've read many books about the evil in this civil society and I'm reading "Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected" by Rory Miller as I type! I also carry a Taser! Kudos to you!

    ps; Briania looks great!