Monday, December 31, 2007
During the stroll, I found a dollar bill wrapped up in the shells and dead plants washed up along the high tide line. I looked for more money, but found none. I put the dollar away in my wallet and will hold onto it. Maybe it will bring me luck.
At the end of the stroll, I noticed this sign at the edge of the beach. It was so weird I had to take a photo.
I wonder who brought what wild animal to the beach to cause the city of West Haven to pass such an ordinance?
Also, somebody needs to inform the seagulls they are breaking the law.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Today, I give you Mr. Jessica Simpson. In this photo, Jessica looks like he is wearing a cheap wig. Also, the cleft in Jessica's jutting jaw gives him such a masculine countenance that must make it difficult for him to deny his birth gender.
As I wrote here back in March, "I have nothing against women, who look like trans-sisters. They help us real trans-sisters to blend in society. They obfuscate the line between males and females, which makes it easier for real trans-sisters to pass."
Thursday, December 27, 2007
I have been buying my Max Speedies on eBay at prices that are half list price or less. However, they have not been showing up on eBay lately, so I went to the local drug emporium to buy a set. There were none to be had! There were other Revlon nail products (all requiring glue), but no pre-glued Max Speedies.
Next, I checked the Revlon Web site and it did not list the Max Speedies, so I assume they discontinued the product.
There are other pre-glued brands, so I guess I will have to switch brands. Too bad because I was a very satisfied Revlon Maximum Speed customer.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
For those of you who are new to this blog, I've written here before that I seldom remember my dreams and the few that I do remember usually involve crossdressing.
Last night's dream found me getting up in the morning to go to work. Just like real life, as I am getting ready for work, my wife is sound asleep. Unlike real life, after I shower and shave, I put on my makeup, wig, and one of my girly outfits.
In my dream, I know that I had just gone to work recently en femme, but I can't remember how I returned home from work. Did I change into boy mode on the way home from work or did I manage to sneak into the house en femme without my wife noticing me? Getting dressed in the morning is easy because my wife is sound asleep, but I am stumped on what happened at the end of the workday.
The dream ended with me dressed en femme, ready to leave for work, but stuck trying to figure how I am going to get back home.
Monday, December 24, 2007
All my in-laws know about my crossdressing. It is a long story, but I was outed by my wife's cousin, who we had entrusted with my secret. My in-laws have had long discussions amongst themselves about my crossdressing, but they never mention it to my face. The family rat, my brother-in-law, even convinced my mother-in-law, to write my wife out of her will because I am "unstable." And yadda, yadda, yadda.
As a result, I have minimum contact with my in-laws, but my wife is forgiving to a fault, no matter how they have abused and mistreated her throughout her life, and she bought them all Christmas gifts.
So, Christmas morning, I will accompany my wife to my mother-in-law's home so she can exchange the gifts. I am just going along as bodyguard and will refuse any gifts that they may try to foist on me. (I don't expect any gifts because my wife has forewarned them that I won't accept any, but you never know with these people.)
I'd love to show up at my mother-in-law's tomorrow in my girliest Christmas finery. It is not that I don't have the guts to do it, but I won't do it in deference to my wife. But I can dream, can't I?
I wanted to close on a positive note: Tyra Banks. I have become infatuated with this woman and she is near the top of my list of women to emulate. So, I went to Google to search for a nice photo of Tyra to accompany this blog entry and I learn that Tyra gave limp McDonald's cheeseburgers to her staff as Christmas gifts!
Tyra just fell off my list of women to emulate, so I guess I have no good news this Christmas! But, Happy Holidays anyway!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The film was The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash, a 1978 mock documentary film that parodies the rise and fall of the Beatles.
In addition to highlighting the career of the Rutles, the film briefly mentions what each of the band members did after the break-up of the band. The George Harrison character, Stig O'Hara, played by Ricky Fataar, became an airline hostess for Air India and appears exiting an Air India office dressed as an Indian airline stewardess.
The television show was NBC's collection of the best commercial parodies from Saturday Night Live (SNL). I don't watch SNL as often as I used to in my youth, so I missed this parody when it appeared originally in 2005: a mock commercial for Me-Harmony, an online dating service that matches you to a completely identical member of the opposite sex.
The commercial shows five SNL cast members (four guys and one gal) as satisfied Me-Harmony customers. Each one crossdresses to portray their Me-Harmony match. It is very funny and well-done. You can see it here.
Also, I think the parody says something about crossdressing, but I'm not sure what it is!
Friday, December 21, 2007
This interesting advertisement appears in this week's issue of New York magazine. It is an ad for a singles dating service.
I wonder where they came up with the odds that 1 out of 25 women in singles bars are really dudes. Are those odds only applicable to the New York City area or are they applicable everywhere?
Personally, I think those odds are too low, but you never know.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
According to an article in the November 29, 1948 issue of Time, "drag" was the Naval cadet nickname for a date, i.e., the girls the cadets dated were called "drags."
I guess if a cadet dated a crossdresser, his date would be a "drag in drag."
I have seen the January 6, 1947 issue of Life magazine on eBay numerous times and I always wondered about the caption on the cover (Annapolis "Drag").
I assume that "Annapolis" refers to the US Naval Academy in that city, but does "Drag" refer to a crossdressing event at the academy. Is that a Naval cadet in drag on the cover?
If anyone can enlighten me, I would appreciate it.
They both fit perfectly, but the heather charcoal sweater knit dress looks much, much nicer with a belt.
* I don't know why, but my last three or four Newport-News orders have only taken a week to arrive after I placed the order. In the not too distant past, there was usually a two to three week wait, so pillbox hats off to Newport-News for the improvement.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
I took the quiz twice. First time, I selected "female" as my gender; second time, I selected "male." Both times, the results were Tammy Lynn Michaels!
Next, I had to Google Ms. Michaels because I had no idea who she is. I guess I need to get out more!
I always suspected that when en femme I was a "lipstick lesbian" and this quiz confirms it!
|What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble? |
Your Result: Tammy Lynn Michaels
|Portia Di Rossi|
|K D Lang|
|What famous lesbian do you most closely resemble?|
Make a Quiz
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
It is so cold, I don't want to do much of anything that involves going out, en femme or otherwise.
I planned to go en femme to the Avon representative Christmas party tonight, but it was postponed until some undetermined date in January, so I will be spared from the having to deal with cold winds going up my short skirts tonight.
The forecast is for "warmer" temperatures later in the week, so maybe the weather will be more inviting for crossdressing then.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The highlight of the film is when Ms. Pfeiffer sings "Makin' Whoopee" as seen in this video.
Enjoy the video, see the film, and consider femulating a woman like her.
Friday, December 14, 2007
I love this outfit that appeared in the "Trends From New York" feature. (Click on any image in this blog to enlarge it.)
I also loved these shoes. The pair on the left appeared in the "Runway Report" story, while the pair on the right appeared in the "Fabulous At Every Age" article. The later was actually in the section of the article that featured fashions for women in their 50's, which fits me to a tee.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I have a variety of hobbies and interests. To keep up with what is going on, I subscribe to magazines that cover my areas of interest.
Over the years, I subscribed to a variety of trans-oriented magazines. I seldom renewed a subscription to a trans mag because I found them trashy, boring, and/or lacking information that I wanted. I gave up on them and I don't subscribe to any trans mags today. (Please recommend any that you feel are worthwhile.)
On the other hand, I do keep up with what is going on in the femulation world by subscribing to woman's fashion magazines.
Years ago, I subscribed to Allure when it was a skinny magazine, but packed with useful information for the crossdressing fashionista. After a few years, I let my Allure subscription expire during a femulation lull.
I resubscribed to Allure about a year ago and was surprised when the first issue showed up in my mailbox. The skinny magazine had become a bloated tome of 200 to 300 pages, chock full of advertisements and little useful information. Whenever a new issue arrived, I perused it once and put it in the recycling pile.
I let my Allure subscription expire and recently subscribed to Harper's Bazaar. My first issue arrived yesterday and it was a pleasant surprise! It was full of ads*, but it also was full of useful articles. I think it is more sophisticated than Allure and I will be returning to it often.
* One good thing about the proliferation of ads in fashion magazines is that they pay for the magazine, so subscriptions are cheap, usually about $1 per issue or less. For example, go here and you can get a one-year subscription to Harper's Bazaar for $10 or two years for $15.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Diana is single and lives as a woman full-time. I am married and live as a woman part-time.
Most of the time, I am in male mode because my wife married a man and prefers me in boy mode. She dislikes it when I am in girl mode and to keep the peace, I agreed that I only do the girly thing on a limited basis.
I am in male mode most of the time also because my employer hired a man and might not be too happy if I showed up at work in a dress and heels on days that don't end the month of October.
When Diana wants to go out, she opens the door and she is out (lucky girl!). When I want to go out, it is more complicated. I need two hours at a minimum to transform from boy mode to girl mode. And if it is an evening outing, that means leaving work early to get ready.
Since there are a number of complications in my girl life, I have to pick and choose my en femme outings and as a result, I have to turn Diana down more often than I would like. I just hope she doesn't get tired of my rejections and stops asking!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Rupert Everett makes an unexpectedly glamorous appearance in the new St Trinian's movie in a cross-dressing role apparently inspired by Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall.
The flamboyant actor, who dons a blonde wig and knee-length skirt for the part of "pantomime dame" headmistress Miss Camilla Fritton, proved to be a striking doppelganger for the royal.
You can read the rest of the story from the Daily Mail here.
"Just a note to write that every day I take my vitamins and read your writings. You express feelings which I have and I feel less alone."
What a sweet thing to say!
To tell you the truth, I can use some vitamins and a little inspiration myself this morning. My allergies were bothering me last night and I had a hard time falling asleep, so I took two allergy pills to knock me out.
They did the trick, but I should have only taken one because I feel bushy-eyed and bright-tailed this morning and so far, coffee has not turned me around.
To make matters worse, it feels like a Monday rather than a Tuesday because yesterday I worked from home (to avoid dealing with the icy road conditions).
All work and no play makes Staci a dull girl, so during a break yesterday, a 20% discount e-mail offer from Newport-News moved me to do some online shopping. I spent a long while on the Newport-News Web site, adding anything that I liked to my shopping cart.
When I was finished shopping, I reviewed the contents of my shopping cart and removed everything except for two dresses: a zip-front V-neck dress in "royal purple" and a sweater-knit dress in "heather charcoal," which I ordered (and now wait anxiously for their arrival).
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
I like a varied genre of film. There are only a few that I do not like: action films and slasher films. I also don't care much for feature-length animated films, but I love cartoons.
Although I love dressing as a woman, I do like films that appeal to manly men, for example, war films, especially World War II films, westerns, spy films (Connery's 007 are my favorites), mob films, science fiction, horror films, etc.
My guilty pleasure is the chick flick. (I am writing this just after watching Friends With Money.)
Perusing the list of 100 great chick flicks, I've seen most of them, liked most of the ones I've seen, and consider some of them as my favorite films of all time!
As a crossdresser, I guess liking chick flicks is just another expression of my inner chick.
Friday, December 7, 2007
I ran late, so I had to forgo my shopping plans and drove straight to the university where I did outreach at two Human Sexuality classes.
I want to look my best when I do outreach, so I usually dress up and yesterday was no exception. I wore my favorite dress (the leopard sash-tie wrap dress that I bought from Newport-News), favorite shoes (the Joy Baby Doll Pumps I bought at Payless), black tights, and my short white fake fur car coat. Needless to say, I was overdressed compared to most of the females (students and professors) on campus; I looked like a visitor on campus and that's what I was.
Females were in the majority in both classes; each class had about 25 students with two males in the earlier class and six in the later class.
Usually, the later afternoon class is less energetic, but that was not the case yesterday. Both classes were enthusiastic and asked a lot of questions. The second class even applauded us at the end!
Coincidentally, the two same questions that were never asked before came up in both classes:
One was, "How do you hide your genitalia?"
My answer was right out of my Wednesday blog: I wear a panty girdle to keep my genitalia in check. As I wrote on Wednesday, I tried a gaff, but discovered that it was very uncomfortable and that my male parts would escape frequently and required regaffing. The panty girdle did a much better job keeping those parts in place and was much more comfortable.
The other question was "Do you do hormones or have you had surgery?"
The answer was "no," but I assume the students asked because they thought I might do hormones and had surgery because they thought that it looked liked I had, which means I looked more womanly than the average guy in a dress. So, I took that question as a compliment.
During the question and answer session in the second class, Maryanne, the transsexual I was paired off with, went on about how it was not about clothes, it was all about gender. She wished that we all wore sackcloths and then we would not have to deal with the clothing issue.
I was ready to jump in as soon as she finished because for me, it is all about the clothes! But just as Maryann finished, the professor, who knows me well, chimed in, "But for Staci, it is all about clothes!" Everyone had a good laugh after her comment.
After the first class, we walked to the Student Union for a bite to eat. I missed it, but everyone else commented on how another professor passed us in the hallway and turned around to get a better look at me. I hate it when that happens and I miss it!
The women in the first class loved my shoes and after the class, a number of them asked me where I bought them. Also, the woman working the Dunkin' Donuts shop in the Student Union where I bought coffee and a flatbread sandwich complimented me on my retro necklace. I thanked her and pointed out my matching retro earrings.
I was tired by the end of the day, but surprisingly my feet did not hurt because my Baby Doll Pumps are so comfortable even with a three-inch heel.
It was another wonderful day out en femme and as always, I look forward to the next opportunity to be the woman I sometimes am.
Before I went out yesterday, I took some photos and here are my two favorites from that photoshoot.
Both are my reflections in a mirror. They are out of focus, which is a good thing because being out of focus blurs the signs of old age and makes me look younger!
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I read the article and thought how to apply that list to men that are emulating women. It did not take long to realize that crossdressers needed their own list.
With over 40 years of crossdressing experience under my wide patent belt, I decided I am qualified to put together such a list. So, here is my list of "the necessities" that no man's wardrobe can be without if he wishes to emulate a woman successfully.
waist cincher — The right waist cincher can mold your body into a feminine figure by pulling in your waist and displacing what it pulled in to your hips and breasts. (It helps if you are a little overweight like me. My waist cincher displaces enough of me into my breast area that I can nearly fill the B cups of my bra and forgo breast forms.) I have tried a lot of waist cinchers over the years and I prefer an underbust corset-like design with metal boning and a lace-up back.
wig — Style is your choice, but buy the most expensive synthetic wig you can afford. Inexpensive wigs look like wigs, whereas expensive wigs look like real hair. One of the nicest compliments I ever received was when a woman thought my expensive wig was my real hair.
panty girdle — A panty girdle serves two purposes: (1) it shapes your lower torso into a more feminine shape and (2) it allows you to hide your male parts. I tried a gaff to achieve the latter, but discovered that it was very uncomfortable and that my male parts would escape frequently and required regaffing. The panty girdle did a much better job keeping those parts in place and was much more comfortable. By the way, if you favor short skirts (like me), wear a brief panty girdle rather than a long leg panty girdle, so that your girdle is less likely to show.
beard cover — I feel so badly when I see a beautiful femulator with the tell-tale signs of a beard because there is an easy fix: a good beard cover. By "good" I mean one that is sheer and orange (to counteract the blue color of a beard). (Update: I received e-mail asking what beard cover I recommend. I use and recommend RCMA (Research Council of Make-up Artists, Inc.) BC-2. I bought it online two years ago for about $8. I checked here and the price is now $22.)
little black dress — Purchase a classic little black dress and it will never go out of style. I lost count the number of times I couldn't find anything to wear, end up wearing my LBD, and get compliments on my look.
moisturizer — Moisturize every day even during periods when you are not going out en femme. After many, many years of shunning skin care, I began using a moisturizer and it made a huge difference. My skin is smoother, more supple, healthier-looking, and my makeup goes on easier and looks better.
boots — Buy a pair of boots for practical reasons (to protect your feet in cold weather) and for style (to look sexy).
breast forms — If you are not naturally endowed or if your foundation garments do not displace sufficient flesh to fill the cups of your bra, then use breast forms (unless you are going for the flat-chested waif look). I seldom use forms, but when I do, I use the bird seed in pantyhose versions I made 25 years ago. They are so inexpensive that I made two pairs: a small pair to fill out a bra when my flesh just fails to do so and a larger pair for when I fake cleavage and need big breasts to match.
wallet — Buy a woman's wallet. Don't destroy your look by pulling a man's wallet out of your purse.
watch — Buy a woman's watch. Don't destroy your look by pulling up a lace cuff to check the time on your man's watch.
camisole — Buy one camisole or better, buy two: one in black and another in white. I own a half dozen because they can solve so many personal wardrobe dilemmas.
gold and silver jewelry — To compliment most of your outfits, buy one gold-colored set of jewelry (earrings, necklace, bracelet) and one silver-colored.
makeup — It goes without saying that you must buy and use makeup to emulate a woman. These are the makeup items that I consider necessities: concealer, foundation, powder, blush, lipstick, lip-liner, lip-gloss, mascara, eye shadow, eyeliner, and eyebrow color.
outerwear — If you live in cooler climes, you will need a woman's coat, woman's gloves and perhaps, a woman's hat if you plan on going out en femme during the winter. A man's coat, gloves, and hat will not cut it if you really want to look like a woman.
hand cream — A man has man's hands especially if he does manual labor. So, shave your hands if they have hair and use a hand cream daily to help feminize your man hands.
deodorant — Unless your manly deodorant is unscented, use a woman's deodorant to avoid the manly scent of a man's deodorant.
makeup brushes — Buy a good set of makeup brushes and throw away those foam applicators that came with your makeup. The pros only use brushes. To achieve a professional look, you should use brushes, too.
credit card — Most credit card companies will issue additional cards under the same account for other family members. So get an additional card issued to yourself, but just use the initial of your first name with your last name. For example, John Smith would get an additional credit card issued for "J Smith." Use this card when shopping en femme; it is just another small touch that will help you pass as a woman.
makeup mirror — A makeup mirror can be your best friend. Get one that has lights that you can switch to produce various lighting effects and a magnifying option, which is so handy when you are doing your eyes.
eyeglasses — If you wear eyeglasses, next time buy a pair with unisex frames or if you can afford it, buy a second pair with a feminine frame. (With an eyeglass prescription in hand, you can order eyeglasses online and avoid the embarrassment of buying female frames in person.) If you need eyeglasses for reading, you can buy inexpensive reading glasses with very feminine frames just about anywhere (the local pharmacy, Wal*Mart, etc). Also, you can buy woman's sunglasses just about anywhere, too.
clip-on earrings — Clip-on earrings are a rare commodity and I buy them whenever I come across a nice-looking pair for sale. If you don't have pierced ears, you should collect clip-ons, too.
wrinkle remover — If you have wrinkles, use a wrinkle remover. I never paid much attention to those miracle skin care products that are supposed to remove wrinkles. However, one day I received a free sample of a product that was supposed to deal with wrinkles around the eyes. Looking in the mirror at the wrinkles developing around my 50-something-year-old eyes, I decided to try the free sample. After a week or so, I noticed that the wrinkles were less noticeable. After a few weeks, I had to examine my eyes closely to find the wrinkles. As a result, I was sold on the product and continued using it everyday. Today, the wrinkles around my eyes are still there, but they are not as deep as they once were and as a result, they are less visible especially from afar, which is the goal for using this stuff.
makeup box — Males need more makeup than real females to look female, so get a big box for your makeup. Don't be shy about buying the biggest box you can find or afford. If the box is not full now, trust me, you will fill it eventually. (When I outgrew the last makeup box, I went to the sports department of my local Wal*Mart and bought the biggest tackle box that they sold.)
jewelry box — My wife gets credit for this. Instead of using traditional jewelry boxes to store your jewelry, use clear plastic stackable compartmentalized storage boxes. They are inexpensive and allow you to see what is stored in the box at a glance.
nails — Long painted nails are so feminine, but how is a guy supposed to hide them when he is in boy mode. The solution is to use fake nails. I prefer the pre-painted, pre-glued, press-on nails; they go on in less than five minutes and usually do not come off until you purposely remove them.
perfume — Buy one bottle of an expensive perfume and use it when you dress like a woman so that you will have the scent of a woman, too.
cuticle remover — Whether you paint your nails or use fake nails, you should use a cuticle remover to clean up your natural nails before you go glam.
razor — Purchase an electric razor with a the sideburn trimmer and use the trimmer to remove long hair, then use the head of the razor to remove stubble. For closely shaving your face, get a multi-blade safety razor and always use a new blade before going out en femme in order to get the closest shave.
tights — Tights are very handy when there is no time to shave your legs and they are also very fashionable lately.
attitude — I wish you could buy attitude, but you can't. Attitude is something you acquire and is critical in your success of emulating a woman. When you go out en femme, act as if it is the most natural thing in the world. Don't be ashamed. Rather, strut your stuff. It is your life and if you want to live it as a woman even momentarily, it is your right to do so. If someone has a problem with it, it is their problem, not yours. Go for it, Girl!
In the afternoon, I will be speaking at two Human Sexuality classes at a local university. These speaking engagements are always interesting and gives me an opportunity to do some outreach on behalf of the plain, vanilla crossdresser community.
Later this week, you can expect a full report here about my day out.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Too bad; it looked great on the Newport-News model!
Maybe I can do some dress shopping when I go out en femme on Thursday to do outreach. (There is nothing like clothes shopping in person.)
This week, New York magazine attempts to remove some of the mystery in their piece titled ""The Everything Guide to Bras'. The article covers (or uncovers) the following bra topics:
The Search for the Right Fit – For some, bra shopping is about as fun as dental work. But there’s a lacy underthing out there for everyone.
The Mechanics – It looks so simple. Gwen Widell and Jill Gurhan, design and technical vice-presidents respectively at Wacoal, describe the engineering necessary for a bra to do its thing.
How to Increase the Shelf Life – Proper bra care means your bra will keep its pristine shape about one year. Tips on keeping your delicate underthings in good stretching order.
Boom and Busts – A timeline of the brassiere, from 1907 to the present.
Ask the Lingerie Experts – Nikki Dekker and Maayan Zilberman of the Lake & Stars.
It is recommended reading for new and old femulators alike.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear is disc jockey Bob River's parody of Winter Wonderland. This Christmas song does not get a lot of airplay. I first heard it on WDRC-FM on a Christmas Eve ten years or so ago and I can count on one hand the number of times I have heard it on the radio since that first time.
Copies of the song are available on the Internet and I just discovered that video versions are also available (on YouTube). There are a dozen video versions. Some are lame, but there are a couple of good ones. I particularly liked this anime version.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Today, I bought two pairs of tights, a black pair and a gray pair, to wear with the new dress. The dress is silver, so I am not sure which color will look better, but one or the other should work. (My guess is black.)
As I mentioned a few postings ago, I ordered the dress one size smaller than usual because (1) I lost some weight and (2) the clothing industry seems to be downsizing again, i.e., yesterday's size 18 is today's size 16. Hopefully, the dress will fit and I won't have to send it back.
The weather forecast looks good for Thursday. It will be cold ("high near 33"), but there is no precipitation in the forecast.
If I have some time before I do outreach on Thursday, I would like to shop for a new winter coat. All my coats are either old and worn or fake fur and therefore, too dressy for normal wear. I do have a cute white fake fur jacket that I wore whenever I went out last winter, but it does not look right with certain outfits, so I need a new coat.
And so it goes.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
All along, I have been attracted to clothing that recalled fashions of the past and I have bought a retro item on occasion.
About ten years ago, I searched eBay on a daily basis looking for vintage clothing, particularly dresses of the late-1940s to early-1960s era. It was a difficult search because of the size issues, that is, there was not much available in my size.
I did win a few items on eBay and have worn some of those vintage dresses out en femme, but about half my winnings were a disappointment: they did not fit.
I never bid on an item unless the listing includes the bust, waist, and hip measurements and I only bid on items when I have a good idea the item will fit me. But sometimes I estimated wrong. For example, the bust, waist, and hip measurements matched my needs, but the cut of the dress was such that it did not fit right.
I could not return the item and I was stuck with something I could not wear. After winning too many too small dresses, I stopped searching eBay.
Eight years later, I think I am a better judge of what will fit me, so I am hitting the eBay women's vintage clothing listings again. I have found some gorgeous dresses and already have bids in on some of them.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
So said Jerry in "The Red Dot" episode of Seinfeld.
On Seinfeld, Jerry did not play a trans character. In real life, I am not aware that Jerry is a trans person.
Larry David wrote "The Red Dot" episode and as far as I know, Larry is not a trans person either.
My point is that the "too close to trying on a dress" line came from a non-trans person. Admittedly, it was intended to be humorous, but I wonder if there is a grain of truth buried in that line.
Do non-trans men feel uncomfortable in women's department because they feel like they are a little too close to trying on a dress?
I don't know because I am trans. Whenever I am in the women's department, I always feel close to trying on a dress. In fact, I would love to try on a dress if I see one I like and I have actually done so on more than one occasion in boy mode.
But do non-trans men have thoughts about wearing dresses?
I am sure that the average guy would not admit it except in jest because he would not want to muddle up his masculine image. But, it does make me wonder how close the average guy is to joining my team.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
I fell in love with this dress as soon as I saw it in the fall catalog, but I have delayed my purchase until there was a sale. The dilemma I face is what size to order.
For a number of reasons, I am considering ordering one size lower than what I usually order. For starters, I lost a little weight; not much, maybe half a dress size (and I would like to lose more... who wouldn't?).
Another reason is that what was a size 18 yesterday is really a size 20 today. For example, I recently ordered a skirt in my "normal size," but I had to return it for a smaller size because my old normal size was too big.
So, I will order the dress today in my "new smaller size" and hope for the best.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
It is so much better seeing it in person! It is more colorful, louder, and the air is full of electricity. You see a lot more than you ever see on television and you do not have to listen to inane commentators or commercials. I had a fantastic time.
You may remember that I wrote about tights two days ago. Today I saw tights everywhere around the City. I estimate that half the woman I saw today wearing skirts or dresses were also wearing black tights with black patent high heels.
I love the look and the women wearing the look looked lovely. I think I would nice wearing that look, too.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
During the Simpsonization process, you can pick out the style of clothing you wear. I selected "cross-dressy" and expected to be wearing something drag queeny. Instead, I ended up wearing a man's shirt and trousers. D'oh!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Some people do not like tights. Some people actually hate tights. They say they don't like the way they feel, that they are itchy, unhealthy, hot, their visual impression is just not flattering, etc.
I think they look great. Don't they look great on the model to the left?
And I have never found that they were itchy, unhealthy, or hot.
That expensive dress that I bought from Victoria's Secret was shown in their catalog being worn by a model wearing tights. I plan to wear tights too when I wear that dress to my Christmas party.
I often write about going out en femme. It is exhilarating, invigorating, validating, and the most fun I can have without taking off my clothes. However, there is always a little fear in the back of my mind whenever I go out en femme.
My fear has two components.
- If I pass as a woman, I am a target for males who target women.
- If I don't pass as a woman, I am a target for males who target men dressed as women.
I am big and strong and if I was ever attacked, my attacker might regret it, but that does not lessen my fears.
President Roosevelt was correct and we should not let our fears debilitate us. My fears are not going to stop me from going out en femme; it is something I have to do.
Today, we must remember the dead trans sisters and brothers whose fears became their realities, but we must also continue to move forward away from the closet and validate our existence in society.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Few attempts to blame the victim are more blatant than when trans people are accused of "sexual deceit" or "sexual assault" simply because other people have chosen to express their attraction toward us. In reality, it is they who are guilty of cissexual/cisgender assumption (when one presumes that every person they meet is nontrans by default). Trans people simply exist, we are everywhere, and the rest of the world has to start recognizing and accepting that.
Read Ms. Serano's excellent article here.
I expected that the football game would not be much of a game (my Patriots should win big time), so I decided to watch the music awards program and check on the game during commercials.
Please note that I am not a big fan of the current music scene. I like some of today's music, but most of it leaves me cold. However, as a crossdressing fashionista, I watch awards shows to see how the females are dressed to kill.
Two singers impressed me.
Fergie: I loved her micro minidress (and she has the legs to wear it).
Rihanna: I liked her dress, too, but what really impressed me was her height. I looked it up and she is either 5' 8" or 5' 9" depending on whom you believe. The very high heels she wore made her look taller.
By the way, the Patriots won 56-10.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Back on topic... A few days ago, I left a comment on Jodie's blog and as a result, me in my new do showed up in the comment sidebar.
Jodie commented on my comment and added, "Also -- I love the new avatar."
Thank you! I love the new do, too, and I can't wait to wear it out again.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Mr. Alcindor also had some wise words about fashion, in general:
"A good rule of thumb is to only buy if you absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. If you truly love, then you should buy it and enjoy it. If you kinda like it, then forget it -- it's just an impulse. Fight it! You'll thank me when you don't have to look at that neon green coat staring at you from your closet, laughing at you."
And with the following statement, he really hit a home run with this crossdressing fashionista:
"Wear what makes you happy, wear what makes you confident, wear what makes you feel special."
The ad was up for auction on eBay and I lost out. My high bid was about one-third of the winning bid.
I wish I could have added this card to my female impersonator ephemera collection, but I was loathe to bid higher because of the card's condition; the card had damage from being folded twice. (I cleaned up the image you see using Photoshop).
"Located at the corner of Motzstraße and Kalckreuthstraße in Berlin's Schöneberg district, the Eldorado was a popular destination during the 1920s and early 1930s for lesbians, homosexual men, transvestites of both sexes and slumming tourists. The nightclub featured cabaret shows, dancing and drinking in a stylish atmosphere." You can read more about it here.
The card would have been a nice addition to my collection, but it was too pricey and too damaged for my purse.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I replied that I am just about the same in boy and girl mode. People who know me in both modes claim that they don't see any difference. I admit that I do femme it up in order to be more passable in girl mode, i.e., I try to carry myself in a more feminine manner, but I confessed that I don't do much with my voice because I felt silly whenever I did it.
Isn't that a contradiction! When I dress to the nines as a woman including full makeup and wig, I don’t feel silly, but speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly.
And believe me, my feminine voice is not a silly high-pitched, Minnie Mouse-like falsetto. I actually bought Melanie Anne Phillip's How to Develop a Female Voice videotape, practiced with it, and managed to sound like a woman. So, why does speaking in a feminine voice makes me feel silly?
I guess it has something to do with the fact that I really do not have separate boy and girl personalities. When I am in girl mode, I am the same person that I am in boy mode. I do not express my feminine side when I am en femme because I don't have a feminine side! So, when I use a feminine voice, I am doing something that is so unlike myself that it makes me feel uneasy.
On the other hand, my goal is to use a feminine voice when I am en femme. Back in May, when I went out clubbing with my Ohio friend Jade Catherine, her perfect feminine voice inspired me to use my own feminine voice. After many false starts, I think I finally found a way to kick-start my feminine voice whenever I go out.
I usually start my en femme outings by getting in my car and driving somewhere. To put me in the mood, I dial up Shania Twain's Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and blast it through my car's audio system. And I always sing along.
My girl friend Patty said that one way to develop a feminine voice is to sing along to recorded music, especially female vocalists. When you sing, you are using the parts of your voice that woman uses when she speaks and you usually do not use the parts of your voice that a man uses when he speaks. (There are technical terms for this, but I don't want to get technical.)
Makes sense, so I went through the 8,000 songs stored on my iPod to find female vocals that would do the trick. I found a few that had potential, but they really did not work, so I kind of forgot about it.
Wednesday evening, after outreach, I was in a very good mood and I decided to reprise Man, I Feel Like a Woman! on my iPod and of course, I sang along. (By the way, I know all the words by heart because I lip-synched this song at my support group's banquet a few years ago.)
As I sang along, I realized that my feminine voice was kicking in especially during the verses when Shania is singing in a lower pitch… not so much during the chorus, when Shania is singing in a higher pitch. I played the song over again a few times and again yesterday morning, as well as this morning on my way to work, and my feminine voice kicked in each time.
So, I have my answer and found the perfect song to kick-start my feminine voice when I start out en femme. I'll let you know how it works next time I am out en femme.
Vox and the Fab Four
The word "vox" reminded me… Do you remember when the Beatles used Vox brand guitars, amplifiers and speakers when they performed live?
During that era, I remember cutting out a coupon from some magazine and sending it to Vox. In return, they sent me a Beatles poster depicting the Fab Four in concert. The poster also cataloged the Vox line of musical equipment. I remember drooling over the Vox guitars and dreaming of filling in with the Beatles or Beach Boys when George or Carl got sick.
I still have my copy of the poster somewhere.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I wore my new wig, new outfit, and new shoes. I love the retro look! Dr. Carroll complimented my look and considering the source, I was very pleased.
It was a little spooky though because when I looked in the mirror a certain way, I saw my mother! I do resemble my mother's side of the family and the new wig confirmed that fact.
Good news is that the Joy Baby Doll Pump is a very comfortable shoe. I wore them for over five hours and my feet were fine despite the three-inch heel.
There were approximately 15 students in the class. All, but one of the students were female, and most were already working as counselors, typically in schools.
We each told our "life stories." That took approximately 40 minutes leaving only 20 minutes for questions and answers.
One question gave me pause: What were my goals for the future?
Wow! I had to think about that answer.
My reply was that I wanted to continue to spread the word about transwomen like me, so that society would be more tolerant and open-minded of our tribe. I also admitted that I am a successful professional writer, that I write this blog, and that I am planning to write a book to evangelize plain, vanilla crossdressers like me.
The evening ended too quickly and before I knew it, I was home removing all signs of the woman I sometimes am.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
I will be sharing the "stage" with another male-to-female crossdresser, who I have known forever (Barbara was probably my first telephone contact with another crossdresser), Robin McHaelen, Executive Director of True Colors, who will speak about trans youth, and a third person, whom I don't know.
It will be a new experience in a number of ways:
First time doing outreach with grad students
First time doing outreach at this university
First time doing outreach with this group of presentersI hope I do a good job!
I will have a full report for you here tomorrow and I hope to have some photos, too.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
A Footnote in Trans Film History
Justine is a 1969 film. It was not a big hit. I did not see it and I don't recall if it played in any local movie theater back then.
At the end of 1969, when Playboy published their annual review of films, it mentioned that Justine contained crossdressing. I made a mental note of the film because back in 1969, crossdressing in any media was very rare.
During the ensuing 38 years, I had no occasion to see the film. During that time, I also noticed that Justine never showed up on any list of trans films, so I started to doubt Playboy's take on the movie
Yesterday, while I was waiting on dinner, I was channel surfing and came in on the middle of Justine playing on one of the cable movie channels. About ten minutes into my watch, a male appeared in full evening gown drag.
Playboy was correct after all.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Naturally, I accepted and look forward to spreading the word!
Friday, November 9, 2007
They are now at a point where I am satisfied with their appearance. So, I only tweeze for maintenance.
The last time I cleaned them up was over three weeks ago, just before my last outing en femme. In anticipation of my next outing on Tuesday, I decided to do some maintenance this morning.
I was surprised to discover that very little maintenance was required. I only had to remove four or five very thin hairs. I guess all my tweezing has finally resulted in some permanent eyebrow hair loss! Hurray!
I hope you enjoy the graphic images that I create and post here. I do enjoy creating them.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The House of Representatives on Wednesday passed the Employment Non-Discrimination Act but with without protections for trans-workers after more than five hours of debate, wrangling, maneuvering and lobbying.Read the whole article to learn who are your friends and enemies.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Most of my previous outreaches have been with undergraduate students. Next Tuesday, the students will be future school counselors, psychologists, and therapists in private practice, so I expect that the Q & A will be a few notches higher than what I usually encounter.
It should be an interesting evening!
I received the following e-mail last night indicating that one of the postcards (Sammy's Bowery Follies) was not related to female impersonators, so I removed that postcard from the web page.
I thought I'd let you know that Sammy's Bowery Follies did not have female impersonators. It had a floorshow of aging ex-vaudevillians.
Charlie (Sammy's Grandson)
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Here is an excellent article about the professor (although, I don't like the title of the article) and here are my favorite quotes from the professor that appeared in the article:
"However, while I know that I cross-dress, I have no real idea of why I cross-dress. I simply know that I do. My acceptance of this part of myself, without shame or guilt, has taken a long time."
"If you're doing something and you're not sure why, why not make it into something that’s about growth and learning?"
"An obsession [rather than a 'hobby'] would be a more appropriate description. It's not as if we can choose to give it up, the way you might decide to give up golf or collecting engravings. It's not a choice, really. Nobody wakes up one day and says, 'My life isn't complicated enough. I think I'll put on women's clothes.'"
Monday, November 5, 2007
"So you can dress as an attractive female, go alone to the mall and the straight clubs, fly under the radar... But you don’t dare to interact much because of the fear of discovery of your true identity and the peril that might follow... your experiences start to seem hollow, void, empty, lacking in substance. So the thrill is gone although you spend considerable time helping others. So is this all there is for a non-transitioned, transgendered woman? And now what?"
(Please read her entire essay here.)
I often find myself in the same boat. I dress to the nines, go out, sometimes fly under the radar, sometimes not, don't interact much, and get bored with the whole thing, then wonder, "What is the point?"
I love dressing up, but unless I do something new when I am out dressed, it sometimes seems like a waste of time.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
I did try on the dress from Victoria's Secret and decided to keep it. It is a very dressy dress, so I hope I get invited to a party during the holidays (hint, hint) where I can wear it.
Last night, I watched School for Seduction from beginning to almost the end. Something is wrong with the DVD that prevented me from watching the last 30 minutes of the film, but I enjoyed the film up to that point.
On a positive note, the trans character, Tony, the accountant and drag queen wannabee, was treated very nicely in the film. The female instructor and women in the class were very supportive in his desire to improve his female presentation. (I wish there were classes like that around here!)
And although the film was intended as entertainment and not instruction, I still learned a thing or two to improve my female presentation.
My only complaint about the film is that I had a hard time understanding some of the dialog because of the thick British accents of some of the characters. Sub-titles would have come in handy.
The previous post, beard cover, has the following comment from long time reader Shoshana, "Are you just joking around or can guys really look that hot.."
Yes, it was supposed to be a joke, but yes, some guys CAN look that hot. For example, browse flickr and you can find some guys who make very nice look gals. Just off the top of my head, go to flickr and look up Cindycd, Jade Catherine, Kate Salehurst, or Robyn1967 for examples of fantastic-looking females, who are actually guys. And they are just the tip of the iceberg at flickr!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
After dinner, I took off my menswear and put on my girly underwear. When I removed the jacket dress from its package, my first impression was that the dress looked too big.
I put the dress on and it was at least one size too big (it was a size 16W). Also, it was longer than it appeared in the catalog; in the catalog, the hem of the dress was just above the knee, whereas on me, the hem covered the knee.
I tried on the jacket and it was too big, too.
Besides the wrong fit, I did not like the way the dress looked. It was matronly; something that the elder Barbara Bush would wear.
I was disappointed and will send it back for a refund.
Next, I tried on the dress from Victoria's Secret. When it arrived two days ago, I quickly slipped it on over my boy undies to see if it fit (and it did). As I wrote yesterday, "Since the dress is so expensive, I want to see how it looks and fits with my girly underwear and then decide whether to keep it or send it back."
I slipped it on and immediately slipped it off because the dress's neckline revealed the top of my bra cups and my bra straps. I switched to a bra with cups that showed more skin and with adjustable straps that can be placed wider apart on my shoulders.
I slipped it on again and now the dress's neckline only revealed skin.
The dress fit ok, but it does not "wow" me and a dress that costs $150 should wow me. I was a little disappointed, but not enough to send it back for a refund... yet.
I thought about it last night and decided to try it on again with different combinations of underwear to see if I can achieve wow-ness.* If not, it will go back for a refund on Monday.
* Another factor that affects wow-ness is whether I am wearing a wig and makeup or not. More than once, a dress that looked just OK when I tried it on sans wig and makeup, became a wow dress when I tried it on with a wig and makeup.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
This memorial takes place in locations throughout the world. Locally, Hartford, is the site for this event.
In past years, I have not attended. This year, my friend Diana, who is active in the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition asked me to speak at the event and represent the crossdressing branch of the trans-tribe. My take is that plain, vanilla crossdressers don't usually speaking at the Hartford version of the event, but Diana feels that we should be represented.
I was honored that she asked me and I gladly accepted.
The hard part is coming up with something to say. This year's theme is "Love Tran-scends! The Importance of Allies" and I am expected to say something related to that theme for about five minutes. I could do five hours, so I will have to work on it.
I opened the box, opened the plastic bag containing the dress, removed the dress, and held it up. My first thought was that it was too small.
I stripped down to my underwear, slipped the dress on and it fit! So far, so good.
Since the dress is so expensive, I want to see how it looks and fits with my girly underwear and then decide whether to keep it or send it back. But, I did not have time to do that last night. Maybe tonight...
I am disappointed. I would have had a good time.
On the other hand, I would have had to gotten up earlier than usual to do my makeup and get dressed. Since I am still catching up from my sleep-deprived World Series, I appreciated not getting up earlier this morning.
I just read an excellent article titled "Coping With the Holidays" by Gianna E. Israel. I highly recommend it.
Turns out that a few people did show up in costume at work today. Now, I'm sorry I didn't.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Although I have been crossdressing since I was a young pup, I have only been going out in public on a frequent basis during the past year.
Before that, I did go out, but usually to attend support group meetings or some outing sponsored by my support group or another trans-organization. In reality, those outings were just extensions of my closet with minimal contact with the public and I did not have to worry about being read.
I had an epiphany about a year ago when I gathered up all my courage and went shopping at a local mall. One of the first things I did was go to Sephora for a makeup consultation.
During my consultation, I mentioned to the consultant that I had beard cover under my foundation and that I was wearing beard cover because I was a crossdresser. The consultant probably knew that I was a crossdresser already. She sensed my uneasiness and tried to settle me down by saying, "You only have one life to live and you should live it like you want. If someone has a problem, then it is their problem, not yours."
Those words have stuck with me ever since. Whenever I hesitate going out in public, I remember those words and they motivate me to go forward, the public be damned.
But I am still a novice going out and at a stage that when I interact with the public, I assume that I am being read (because of the closer proximity of that public). And I am waiting for them to give me a clue that they know.
Most of the time, I do not get that clue. Either the other party has no clue and I am passing or they are good at concealing the fact that they know.
I guess that instead of looking for a clue, I should just go with the flow, assume that I pass, and enjoy my time out en femme.
Monday, October 29, 2007
If you are a college student, I urge you to complete the survey, which you can access here.
Speaking for myself, long ago when I was a youngster, I knew I wanted to dress up as a woman once in my life. And after I did it once, I was hooked and wanted to do it again and again and again!
But, I dunno if all men have the desire to crossdress once in their lives. In all my life, I cannot recall a single male acquaintance ever saying to me that he had a desire to don a wig, dress, makeup, and heels. On the other hand, that is not a topic males would discuss amongst themselves.
Maybe most average guys do have such thoughts and wonder how it would be to play for the other team, but being average guys, they keep such thoughts to themselves, so, who knows?
Sunday, October 28, 2007
I missed most of the film and normally I would have kept channel surfing except that the scene I came in on was very intriguing: a beautiful female instructor was teaching a classroom of women how to walk in a seductive manner. That caught my interest, so I stayed tuned while searching the Internet for a plot synopsis.
I found this on Blockbuster: "When an enchanting Italian temptress opens a School for Seduction in a small-town, four friends find their stagnant sex-lives taking on a whole new life in a passionate tale of love and lust."
My trans-radar is always on the alert and I quickly noticed that one of the women in the class was much taller than all the other women. A close-up of the tall woman revealed that she was wearing a wig that needed some work. I assumed she was male and further searching on the Internet confirmed my suspicions.
It was late and I started dozing off, so I went to bed. However, before I turned in, I added the film to my Blockbuster queue and the DVD should be arriving in my mailbox real soon now.
After the Red Sox game ended this morning at 12:58 AM, I was wired from watching the game, so I started channel surfing again and found School for Seduction again. Again, I came in on the middle of the film, but in an earlier scene than I came in on last week. And I learn that the crossdresser is a female impersonator honing his skills by attending the class.
A scene or two later, a group of students go to a nightclub to see the impersonator perform. He sings a torch song and the students gush over his performance with comments indicating how much the class has helped him.
I started dozing off, so I went to bed.
I look forward to watching the film from start to finish when it arrives in the mail.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Yesterday at work, I overheard some talk about costumes, but I was not sure they were talking about costumes to wear to work or costumes to wear other than work.
If I don't hear something more definitive on Monday, I will ask our receptionist if she is going to wear a costume, then pump her for any information she has regarding costume plans at work. Being the company receptionist, if anyone knows, she will know.
At least I have decided what I will wear if I do wear a costume. I plan to wear prostitute drag, that is, my shortest skirt, highest boots, fishnet hose, leopard top, boa, heavy makeup, big hair, etc.
I'll let you know if I go through with it as soon as I know! And there will be photos; you can count on it.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Jessica London sells "fashions for sizes 14W to 34W" and as a result, some of their fashions can look matronly. I don't want to dress matronly, so I am careful what I buy from Ms. London.
Before I ordered the dress, I asked my girlfriend Patty what she thought about it and it turns out that she also loves houndstooth and thinks that the dress would look great on me. That convinced me and I ordered the dress yesterday.
Patty also suggested that I accessorize with knee-high boots or red patent leather pumps and a matching red patent leather bag. I have knee-high boots, red pumps and a matching red bag, but they are not patent leather. But I think they will do.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Also, I discovered questions embedded in the Comments that I failed to answer for one reason or another. I promise to answer all the questions I missed as soon as possible.