Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Getting Fit

In the past, I have complained here that after losing weight, many of my shoes are loose. 

Elegantly walking in heels is difficult if your stilettos are loose. I have tried various inserts to pad out my loose shoes, but they do not help much. They work if your shoes are slightly loose, but if your shoes are a size too big, then they are useless. The only fix is to purchase new shoes in a smaller size. 

Brick and mortar Payless is long gone and there are no stores around here that carry shoes in sizes that my feet require, so online shopping is the only option. But I have been leery about that option because I am not sure what size I need. I assume size 11-1/2 or 11 would fit, but who knows!

Online Christmas shopping last week, I decided to do some shopping for myself and at the top of my wish list were heels that fit. I searched Amazon and found a pair of patent leather stiletto pointed toe 2.5-inch mid-heel pumps by a company called Odernee.

I decided what they heck and ordered the heels in the nude patent color size 11 and they arrived two days later. I tried them on and was happy with the fit. They are comfortably tight and will not fall off my feet. 

And I was so happy with my purchase that I ordered another pair in black patent. (By the way, the shoes come in a huge variety of colors.)

Source: Ann Taylor
Wearing Ann Taylor

German professional femulator
A German professional femulator, circa 1910.

Monday, November 28, 2022

’Tis the Season: You are invited!

Instead of photos of film and television femulations, I would like to feature some real life femulators in the “Femulator” slot below; that means you celebrating the holidays (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years, etc.). We did this last year during the holidays and many readers participated. So this is an invitation to send me your photo wearing your prettiest holiday outfit to be crowned “Femulator of the Day.” 

Just a couple of rules: 

1. Make sure your photo is ladylike, so nothing pornographic and nothing with too much skin showing.

2. Send me one photo – the photo you consider your best. If you send more than one photo, I will have to choose which one to publish and you may not like my choice.

3. Indicate how you want your name to appear in the caption: first and last name, just your first name or no name. 

4. If you have a blog or website, include its URL and I will include it in the caption.

5. If you are out and about in the photo, indicate what you are doing (e.g., “shopping at Macy’s,” “dining at the White House,” etc.). 

6. Send your photo to me via stana-stana @ (without the spaces surrounding @)

I hope to see your photo soon!

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Paul Cattermole
Paul Cattermole femulating on television’s S Club 7 - Hollywood 7.
You can view this femulation on DailyMotion.

Thursday, November 24, 2022

Happy Thanksgiving!

Did you know that Cape Cod’s Provincetown Harbor is where the Pilgrims initially anchored the Mayflower in 1620 after their ocean voyage from England? (Provincetown is the site of Fantasia Fair, the longest-running transgender event of its kind in the New World.)

Source: Intermix
Wearing A.L.C.

19th Century femulator
19th Century femulator

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Hugging a Stranger

A lot of the time, being trans is not easy, but I am thankful that I am trans. It sure makes life interesting and some days are just wonderful beyond compare, for example, the day I described in the following post from March 2013.

Friday, I attended the True Colors Conference at the campus of my alma mater, the University of Connecticut.

I dressed en femme and thought I looked pretty good for someone who passed the 60-year mile marker two years ago (photo right). Usually, I am hypercritical of my presentation and always find something wrong, but Friday I thought I looked as good as I get. (And it always amazes me how much younger I look in girl mode than I do in boy mode!)

I switched to flats to drive to Storrs, parked my car in the parking garage near my old dormitory and kept my flats on to walk to the Student Union.

In past years attending the Conference, I parked in a different garage on the opposite side of the Student Union, so this was the first time since I graduated in 1973 that I walked the walk that I took everyday between my dorm and the classroom buildings. It was nostalgic, but my how things had changed!

Across the street from Memorial Stadium was a huge field, about 12 acres in size that provided a beautiful view of the rolling hills to the east. Most days after classes, my dorm mates and I would play softball or touch football in that field.

Today, that field is occupied by five buildings constructed after I graduated. The view and my old playing field are long gone. I wondered where my old dorm mates have gone and I wondered what they would think if they could see me now.

I entered the Student Union and encountered throngs of GLBT youth, who were enjoying their day. I stopped by the Information table to greet my old friend Robin who was staffing it. A woman, who I did not recognize was also staffing the table, but she recognized me and greeted me like we were old friends.

I played along and said it was great to see her, then I continued on my way to the support group’s table which I was scheduled to staff from 10 AM to 2 PM. I was 10 minutes late, but another friend, Kelly was holding down the fort until I arrived.

At the Information table, I encountered Fantasia Fair friend, Liz, who escorted me to the presenter’s table where I signed in and received my presentation packet. Then I returned to the support group’s table to relieve Kelly, who left to join her parents who were staffing the PFLAG table.

Youths and adults came by the table, but mostly youths who were attracted by our bait - a variety of candy. Since the name of the support group (Connecticut Outreach Society) reveals nothing about the organization, people asked and that gave me a chance to tell them about being trans rather than give them details about the group since it is only open to adults. At one point, I had eight youths surrounding the table listening to me talk about being trans and answering all of their questions on the subject.

The woman behind the curtain at True Colors, Robin McHaelen, stopped by and gave me a big hug (we go back a few years now) and said something to the effect that I looked great. I also received compliments from youths and other adults throughout the day.

Everyone I encountered seemed to accept me, either as a woman or as trans. I was never referred to as a male; it was always “she,” “her,” “Ma’am” or “Miss.”

A number of times, kids and adults came up to the booth and when I began my Transgender 101 spiel, I could see their expression change as they tried to figure me out. It was very interesting.

Karen, another Fantasia Fair friend arrived to staff the table and give me a break. So I took the time to visit the ladies’ room. On the way to that room, I passed the Information table and the mystery woman beckoned me to sit down and chat.

It turns out that the mystery woman was Jila, who had given me the works at her spa three years ago. I did not recognize her because I had only seen her that one day in March 2010, but she recognized me, probably because my image was on her spa’s website and because she reads this blog.

We caught up on our good times and bad and then I asked her about my voice. I had been using my femme voice from the get-go, but caught myself returning to my boy voice when I stopped concentrating on using my femme voice. 

Jila critiqued my femme voice. Her main complaint was that my voice tended to drop into boy mode as I concluded whatever I was saying. She worked with me on it and suggested that I let myself go especially with regards to gesturing with my hands as I talked.

I practiced with Jila’s guidance and in no time, things were clicking and I suddenly felt a wave of femininity flow over me like I never felt before. Wow!

I concentrated on my voice the rest of the day. At times, I fell back into boy mode, but I think I made a lot of progress. Thank you, Jila!

I ran into other friends during the day including Krista, Lee Ann and my life coach, Holly. I chatted with Holly until it was time to get ready for my presentation: “Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly.”

My presentation was in a conference room in the Women’s Center, rather than in a classroom. The room had a lot of comfy chairs as well as folding chairs, so it was a little cozier than classroom. And instead of standing in back of a podium, I was just standing or sitting out in the open, which probably made everything a little more intimate.

A small, but enthusiastic group of about ten showed up and I began. I worked through an updated version of my “top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman” in about half the session. At the beginning, I told the group to interrupt me at anytime to ask questions and they took me up on my offer.

After my top 30 things, I took more questions related to the top 30 or anything else anyone wanted to ask. I gave long rambling answers that entertained (I got a few laughs) and informed (at least that is what the oral and written comments indicated).

Some of the questions I recall were:

Do you ever dress in men’s clothing?

How out are you to your family?

Where can you buy shoes in larger sizes?

Tell us about any negative reactions you have had when out in public?

We ran out of time and I received a round of applause and some thank-you’s.

After the presentation, a woman came up to speak with me. She is involved with two youth groups in Western Massachusetts and wondered if I would be interested in talking to her groups because I would be a “wonderful role model.” I indicated that I would be happy to do it and will wait for her to contact me to work something out.

I returned to the support group table to meet up with my friend Diana and we decided to stop at Rein’s Deli for dinner. Although her car was in the north garage and mine in the south garage, we managed to show up at the deli 15 miles away at exactly the same time!

It was 5 PM and the deli was busy, but nobody seemed to pay much attention to us except when I waited at the register to pay the bill. Diana noticed a very senior lady who seemed to be awestruck by me. I guess she never saw an Amazon before.

After the long day, I was surprisingly not tired. I was energized by the day.

Mid-afternoon, I was walking through the Student Union and passed by a group of a half-dozen teens, who were dressed rather plainly unlike a lot of the other youths at the conference who wore every color of the rainbow (often all at the same time)!

The biggest male in the group politely stopped me. (I assumed he was male, but I could be in error because there was a lot of gender-blurring at the conference.) Anyway, I asked the boy what he wanted and he replied that he wanted a hug.

I gave him a big hug.

Now I hugged friends and acquaintances throughout the day, but this hug with a stranger was the most important hug of the day.

Source: Madeleine
Wearing Madeleine

Sierra and Alana
Femulating bride Sierra and her femulating maid of honor Alana

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Monday, November 21, 2022

Awareness, indeed!

Last week was Transgender Awareness Week. I missed it. My wife’s four medical appointments and medical emergency overrode Trans Awareness. 

The GLAAD Trans Awareness Week webpage states that the Week is intended “to help raise the visibility about transgender people and address issues members of the community face.”

Over the years, I think I have done my share of making civilians aware of transgender people. It was actually kind of easy once I overcame my fear of mixing it up with civilians. Once I found out that I had nothing to fear except fear itself, I loved going out and finding new venues in which to strut my stuff as a woman, trans or otherwise.

It was “easy” because almost all of my friends and acquaintances, who knew the male me accepted the female me.

My former co-workers knew the male me long before they were introduced to the female me and things did not change when they were made aware that I was trans; I was the same old Stan, but with an improved fashion sense.

Strangers were almost as easy. I assumed that I passed some of the time because no one pays much attention to old women like me, so old transwomen can fly under the radar and not be closely scrutinized.

On the other hand, I also assumed that some civilians suspected that I was a trans, but they did not make an issue of it. The worst experience was the use of wrong pronouns, but I can live with that especially in the cases when the person using the wrong pronoun corrected himself/herself.

Doing outreach at colleges and universities was different because going in, the students knew we were trans, so there was no fooling them. On the other hand, I think we probably enlightened some of the students. How many of them expected over-the-top drag queens to show up and were surprised when we appeared looking just like other civilians? 

Awareness, indeed!

Caveat Emptor: This is an edited repost.

Source: Rue La La
Wearing Alice + Olivia

Phillippe Nicaud
Phillippe Nicaud (left) femulating in the 1959 French film Come Dance With Me.