Wednesday, July 31, 2013

What I Did on My Summer Girlcation – Part 2

By Paula Gaikowski

Ok-so-typically-after-a-day-out-as-Paula Typically, after a day out as Paula, I’m good for a while. Work got real busy on Tuesday and Wednesday and then all of a sudden the place is empty --- the boss and all the others are out on vacation. So when I woke up to a cool day with a weather forecast predicted to not go above 65 degrees, I debated briefly, but knew that I couldn’t let an opportunity like that slip by.

What to wear and where to go?

I tried on everything in my closet and settled on my favorite Jones New York suit. I love this suit and have worn it all over the country. Although, I do like to try new outfits and looks, I feel so pretty and womanly in this suit and that was just what I needed that day.

As I made my way down the driveway, I decided to visit my favorite thrift shop about 30 miles from home. I debated about whether to make my daily stop for coffee at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive through. The ladies there know me well.

I was leaning toward not doing it when I received a phone call from work and pulled into an Extra Mart parking lot. After finishing the call, that morning cup of coffee called and I was curious to see what reaction I would get.

The Dunkin’ Donuts is about 15 miles from home and I felt confident no one there knew me because I would be outing myself to the crew there. What was my motivation I don’t know, but before I knew it, I was embedded in the drive through line with only one way out. I ordered in my best female voice, and when I drove up, there was Stacy handing me my coffee as she has done every day for the last three years. She handed me the coffee instinctively, no sense of recognition or things being amiss. It may have been my body language or combination of cues, the car, the “coffee-just milk,” but when I turned back and handed her a dollar tip, it clicked

“Oh….Wow!” her mouth a gasp

I wanted to keep the banter light and fun, so I volunteered, “How do you like my new look?”

She leaned forward perplexed and spoke softly, “You look awesome. Who did your makeup? It’s beautiful.”

Perhaps I should have come right out told her I was transgender, but I concluded this was not the time or place, so I decided to tie it up with a little tale.

“It’s our annual sales meeting, our group has to put on a sketch and I volunteered to play this part.”

Putting a hand on her chest she said, “I never would have known.”

With the sound of anxious customers behind me, I blurted out, “Thanks, I better go” and off I went.

When I went back on Monday, she exclaimed, “You looked stunning. I couldn’t believe it!”

It was gratifying to hear her kind words. It made me realize that since I’ve started going out en femme, I have always received a positive response from the people I meet. Fear of other people’s reactions kept me wallowing in fear and self-loathing for years, but now I find just the opposite where ever I go.

My next stop was my favorite thrift store. I stop here once a week and have found beautiful designer suits and skirts for a fraction of their original cost. It was pleasing to walk the two blocks from the municipal lot over to Main Street passing other businesswomen and men and fitting in as one of them. With my heels taping on the sidewalk my heart soared a bit when I remembered how I would daydream about being able to do this and never believed that I ever really could, yet here I was!

My friend Elaine wasn’t at the store; it was her day off and I didn’t find anything good. It’s the summer time and donations are off. However, I did find a beautiful gold bracelet for $2. I savored the cool air as I walked back to my car --- a welcome respite from 105 degrees the week before.

Next onto another thrift store, Savers in Framingham where all the clothes are arranged by size making it a quick stop. You never know what you may find, but this time, I struck out.

My next stop is a must on any transgender girls list: Nordstrom Rack and their shoe department. “Girlfriend” (and I say that in my brassiest voice), I have never seem such a wide selection of large size shoes and if you like high heels, then even more so. They have a huge selection of 11s, almost as many 12s, and a whole rack of 13s and 14s. Yes, I said 14s! There were plenty of shoes that I liked, but none I could really justify buying. I did have fun trying on all types of pretty and sexy shoes, though.

Next it was off to the Natick Mall and another visit to M·A·C. Going into a M·A·C store can be damaging to the purse. I love to go in, meet the girls, chat and try new makeup, but I wind up often buying too much makeup for a part time girl to use. So I decided to ask for help with lip liner as it is one of the cheaper items they carry.

It was early, the shop had just opened, so I walked into an empty store and was greeted warmly and pleasantly by young woman named Erin. As with most M·A·C sales associates, she was cute and her makeup was flawless. She had one of those vivacious personalities that made you feel welcomed and at ease. I told her that I wanted to match my lipstick with a liner and then said that I was a bit nervous because this was my first time out in few months.

“Oh,” she said, “You look so at ease and confident. I can’t believe that.” She swore that she had met me at the Burlington Mall M·A·C store where she previously worked. Well, I must have a transgender twin because I don’t remember meeting her.

She sat me down and worked on my Cupid’s bow with the liner. She did a fantastic job in extending my upper lip, an essential feminine facial feature. You can see the great job she did with my makeup in the accompanying photo.

I wandered around the mall checking on dresses in Nordstrom, ladies suits in Lord & Taylor and then I made my way out to my car and headed over to the Glamour Boutique in Auburn. Located in a strip mall off Route 20, the Glamour Boutique is run by John Warrener and has been an oasis to the transgender community for years.

I have been going there for over ten years and it was a key part of my journey. The siren in me wanted to try one of their Sexy Club Dresses . That was a big mistake! I was embarrassed by my photo and will not show it here.

The lesson learned is dress age-appropriate, girls. My club dress days are behind me. It was fun to visit John en femme as I always go there in drab. I tried on a bunch of wigs and bought a pair of opaque tights.

It was three o’clock and time to head back to the ranch. This was my second day that week en femme and was sad to have to go home. The more time I spend as a woman, the more time I want to spend as a woman!



Source: unknown

American prisoners of war femulate in a German prison camp during World War II.



Source: ShopBop

Wearing Lisa Perry.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What I Did on My Summer Girlcation - Part 1

By Paula Gaikowski

Paula_2013-07-30 Working from home gives me the opportunity to dress as a woman once a week. However, it makes me feel like a bird in a cage and now I know why they named that famous drag movie The Birdcage. Writing reports and doing household chores in heels and a dress does fill that need for feminine expression to a certain degree. However, nothing chases away the gender dysphoria blues quicker than a day out en femme.

I had been looking for that opportunity for months. My corporate travel schedule had slowed down to almost nothing and there always seemed to be someone home or close by. When both my wife and daughter took off for vacation, I saw an opportunity and unpacked my clothes. That day in Boston was humid and in the 90s. So I decided to wear my light pantsuit that I bought in Houston last year. This was my first time out in my new wig so I was a bit nervous.

I decided that my first stop would be Illusion Wigs to meet with Dotty and get a lesson styling my new tresses. Dotty is transgender-friendly and not only welcomes, but enjoys working with our community. I buy my wigs at the Paula Young factory store in West Bridgewater, but come to Dotty to get personal lessons on how to style my wig. Best thing I ever did concerning my hair.

The summer time is slow for Dotty and her eyes lit up when I came into the salon. She sat me down and styled my wig and trimmed my bangs. Dotty specializes in getting wigs to not look like wigs. She has a lifetime of experience and she loves her art and knows her stuff. I stayed about an hour chatting about hair, fashion, beauty and life as a woman.

On a pink cloud, I turned onto the interstate and found myself trapped in a traffic jam. An accident ahead had closed the road; as I approached the next exit there were blue lights and state troopers everywhere. I was in the left lane, when they started detouring cars off the highway. A trooper walked up the shoulder toward my car. I rolled down my window not really concerned and the trooper shouts, “Go to right Ma’am, exit right Ma’am.” What a beautiful sound “Ma’am!”

I changed direction and was off the long way to the Burlington Mall. I made two stops: the first one was the NARS makeup counter to match an eyeshadow. The sales associate was polite and helpful, although I could see this look in her eye trying to confirm her suspicions. Some days this amuses me and other days it melts away all my self-assurance and makes me feel like a man in a dress. Today it just lifted my spirits. “Yes, honey, I am a transgender woman --- don’t I look fabulous!”

Off to the MAC store, I walked in and was greeted with warm smiles --- I felt at home. The cutest sales associate named Amber came to help. I told her that I was in the process of switching from NARS to MAC and needed to match the eyeshadow that I had on. She brought me over to the eyeshadows and we began going through the different colors.

We decided on two and Amber recommended a third to add more depth. I sat down in a chair and she did my eyes. Taking off all my old makeup, she applied a base, then three colors and liner. What an artist --- they looked so pretty and so professional!

While she worked, I introduced myself as a transgender woman. When a makeup artist gets this close, there is no doubt that I am transgender. So I like to get out there in the open.

I shared with her my problems covering my beard and male features. She gave excellent advice and complemented me. I asked Amber if they had a many transgender clients. Without thinking she responded quickly “Oh, yeah all the time!” So if you’re a newbie and have apprehension about going into a MAC store, rest assure, we are welcomed warmly whether en femme or in drab.

It was out to the car and into the traffic to commute home, my heels killing me, my bra and Spanx tight and sweltering. Nevertheless, there was smile on my face and I knew deep down that I wouldn’t dare complain if given the chance to be women every day.



Source: unknown

Polish prisoners of war femulate while putting on a show in a World War II prison camp.



Source: DailyLook

Wearing DailyLook.

Monday, July 29, 2013


Please excuse my absence. I am still on vacation, but promise to be back in the saddle shoes real soon now.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

She's Got Legs

Stephanie found this image on flickr and sent me the link as an example of an interesting ad parody. Turns out that I actually created the parody years ago (I'm guessing about 2005). Stephanie suggested that I post it again, so here it is!

Friday, July 26, 2013

But My Girdle Is Killing Me!




Szymon-Majewski---Magda-M-20-lat-później (Magda M 20 years Later)---tv-Poland---2007---2

Actor Szymon-Majewski femulating in Polish television’s
Magda M 20 lat później (Magda M 20 Years Later), 2007.



Source: Zappos

Wearing Kamalikulture.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Doing Girly Things

Lisa sent me three more Ask Me Anything questions and I decided to have a go at them before going into vacation mode.

1. Do you dream that you are a woman or do you dream that you are crossdressed and wake up wishing you had dreamed you were a genetic woman instead or something else?

Up front, I want to state that I seldom remember my dreams.

That being said I used to have dreams that I was crossdressing. Sometimes I would complete the transformation, but usually my transformation would be interrupted and never completed.

My dreams transitioned about two or three years ago and now I dream that I am a woman. Crossdressing no longer plays a part. Recently, I even dreamed that I was breastfeeding!

2.  What type of "normal" activities do you do en femme?  For example, do you go to salons?  Get you nails done?  Anything else "girly"?

I have never gone to a nail salon mainly because it would be a waste of money since most of my en femme outings are single days or nights out. For those short outings, my pre-glued stick-on nails are more economical.

I have thought about getting my nails done for multi-day outings and since you brought it up, I made a promise to myself to get my nails done the next time I am out for an extended stay.

Shopping is probably my girliest activity. I love doing the malls, browsing the racks, trying on clothes, trying on shoes and putting outfits together.

I also enjoy getting makeovers. I seem to average one a year and I love having a cosmetics professional have their way with me as I relax and take it all in.  

3.  You seem to only be quasi in the closet meaning it probably would not be hard for some people to figure out you are TG. Does that concern you or are you content to let things take their course?

It does not concern me at all. In fact, if anyone is curious enough to ask, I will tell them the truth, but no one has ever asked.

I have dressed en femme at work for three Halloweens and have worn bits and pieces of woman's clothing to work at other times. If my co-workers have not figured it out by now, I am very disappointed in their observation abilities.

In fact, most of the women and some of the guys I work with have had conversations with me that clearly indicated that they knew I was a T-girl. And that is ok by me.

Source: La Cage Aux Folles
Logan Keslar femulating on stage in La Cage Aux Folles, 2010.

Source: MyHabit
Wearing Sue Wong.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Femulate Lite

Source: Pinterest

I am taking some vacation time this week, so Femulate might be a little light and even invisible the next few days.

Sometimes, you don't have to ask

People occasionally ask me where I find a particular image that I have used in the blog. If I remember the source, I usually code the source information with the image so that if you mouseover the image, a pop-up will appear indicating the source.

On target

The photo at the top of this post was taken by a shopper at Target. Makes me wonder what is hanging on the racks in the Men's Department at that particular Target!



Tom Martelle

Tom Martelle, professional femulator, circa 1925.



Source: ShopBop

Wearing 3.1 Phillip Lim.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Stuck with Lemons, Then Make Lemonade

lemonade Victoria wrote, “Your comments about gynecomastia have been very interesting.  I developed a rather extreme case as a kid. I've always wondered if that had some impact on my gender-orientation development.”

My response:

I feel there is a connection. This is just my opinion --- I am not a doctor, but I play a nurse on television.

Gynecomastia is “caused by an imbalance of the hormones estrogen and testosterone." (Source: Mayo Clinic)

The excessive estrogen may cause other "problems." So, if you have gynecomastia you may be inclined to be more feminine in other ways because extra estrogen is involved. In other words, gynecomastia is not the cause of the other gender issues, rather what causes gynecomastia may cause other gender issues.

That being said, they can feed off of each other. If you have gynecomastia and the extra estrogen is feminizing you in other ways, you might accept and embrace being feminine and thus, reinforce your femininity.

Does that make sense?




Actor Michael Callam (left) femulating on television’s Love American Style, 1971.



Source: ShopBop

Wearing IRO.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Femulating in Grayscale

When the Bobbsey twins played dress-up, Nan's taller height was the only way to differentiate her from her sister Bert.



Source: Ilene Santi

Five fashionable girls in Paris, 1960.



Source: Art Gallery NSW

Wearing Nina Ricci, 1960.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Back to School


It won't be long before the kids are back to school and once back, they will be hatching plans to dress the males as females for a variety of womanless functions, all of which bypassed me in my school days, gosh darn it!

Looking forward to those womanless school days, Starla sent me another batch of femulators that she discovered in online school yearbooks. I thank her again for her finds - 100 in all - and I have uploaded them to the yearbook femulations gallery on flickr.

You may view the new images in two ways:

Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)

Method 2: Open this photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.

By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.



Source: Pinterest

Frockin’ around the Christmas tree.



Source: DailyLook

Wearing DailyLook.

Friday, July 19, 2013

$10 Dress Sale Today

I just bought three dresses for $10 each from Ultimate Outlet. The original prices for the three were $189, $159, and $139… $487 total. (That’s the $189 dress in the photo.)

The sale is today only. The link to the sale is here.


Shopping Tall

Gwendoline Christie Michelle Persad writing for The Huffington Post offers the best websites to buy clothes for tall women. That means she is writing for most of us, girls!

I concur with her about JCP, Nordstrom, and Victoria's. I don’t know about her other recommendations because I have not shopped them, but I will now!

The slide show accompanying the article displays 19 tall female celebrities (yes, they are all on my Famous Females of Height List) followed by some fashion tips for tall ladies like us. The tips include a couple of Stana Standards: "Do go for oversized accessories as your frame can pull it off" and "Do stick a pair of tights under dresses that are too short."

Speaking of my Famous Females of Height List, here are some new additions:

5'8" – Dina Korzun - actress - film, Cold Souls

5'10" – Jennifer Coolidge - actress - film, Best in Show - source: Crystal Stephens

6'3" – Gwendoline Christie (see photo) – actress – television, Game of Thrones - source: Bonnie Scott

6'4" – Cupcake Cassidy – stripper – source: Trish Mifflin



Miss Glamouresse contemplating her restroom choices.



Source: DailyLook

Wearing DailyLook.