Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Make A Wish

In response to my invitation to Ask Me Anything, Ann Onymous asked, "If you really had one wish, would you wish to be the woman you have always wanted to be, but that would erase your relationships in the past? Or would you wish you never had the desire to be a crossdressing feminine man? Thats a tough one."

Actually, the answer is simple.

I have never wished that I was not a crossdressing feminine man.

On the other hand, I have wished that I was the woman I have always wanted to be even if it erased my relationships of the past (like Jimmy Stewart in It's A Wonderful Life.)

I wish I could do it all over again and if I could, I would not have married (and put my wonderful wife through the ups and downs of being married to a crossdresser). Instead, I would have lived as a woman full-time and definitely gotten electrolysis, maybe HRT and probably not surgery.

But since I can't do it over again,  I have played with the cards I have dealt to myself.

My life has been very interesting. I have achieved some success as a writer (a goal that I had since I was a youngster) and I have also achieved some success as a femulator (another goal that I had since I was a teenager). And I achieved something that I never even considered: success as a femulating writer!

Source: Torrid
Wearing Torrid (Source: Torrid)

Aquaria femulates Melania Trump on television's RuPaul's Drag Race.

Monday, September 24, 2018


Thunderball was the first James Bond 007 film I ever saw.

I was 13 years old, a high school freshman anxious to make new friends in a new school. Three new friends invited me to go with them to see Thunderball at the State Theater on a fall Saturday afternoon.

Never having seen a Bond film before, I did not know what to expect and I certainly did not expect the film to open with a full-fledged femulation!

I will never forget it. The film opens with Bond (Sean Connery) observing a funeral in a church. Bond and the camera concentrate on the widow, a leggy blonde appropriately dressed in black from veiled head to high heeled toe. The widow exits the church and a limo whisks her home, where she finds Bond.

Bond greets her, "Madame, I've come to offer my sincere condolences." And then he slugs her in the jaw.

Bond adds, "My dear Colonel Bouvar, I don't think you should have opened that car door by yourself." (After exiting the church, the widow opened the door to the limo herself.)

Turns out that the blonde widow was actually Colonel Bouvar, one of Bond's enemies, faking his own death femulating as his own widow. (I did not see that coming!)

After viewing the film for the first time, I was convinced that the widow was a femulation throughout the opening of the film. But after revisiting the film, I wasn't fooled again.

In the first scene, the bad guy en femme was actually played by a woman (Rose Alba). You can catch a glimpse of an attractive blonde under the thin veil covering her face, but in the second scene, the veil has suddenly became thicker and you cannot see the features of the grieving "widow" as she fights Bond and is revealed as a male (stuntman Bob Simmons).

Despite the obvious, I prefer my initial interpretation, that is, the leggy blonde was a male all along.

Source: Dress Barn
Wearing Dress Barn (Source: Dress Barn)

Frederick Kovert
Actor and professional femulator, Frederick Kovert (or Fred Ko Vert)

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Summer's Fading Fast

Some of the trees in my neck of the woods are starting to change color. And a few outliers are already shedding their leaves.

Where did the summer go? It sure came and went fast! And is gone for good on Saturday.

Seems like I spent the summer going to doctors, cleaning the garage and watching the Red Sox. Not much femulating and this girl is anxious to get out!

My leg has healed enough so that what remains to heal can be hidden under my pantyhose or thigh high stockings. And instead of being embarrassed about my varicose-veined leg, now I can be happy that my left leg matches my right leg, not to mention no more vein pain.  

I'd love to go to Fantasia Fair next month, but it is not in the cards. My wife can't handle all the walking that the Fair requires and I am loathe to leave her at home alone for a week or even a half-week. I wish the Fair had day rates and then I'd go up to P-Town for a day or two to see my friends and take in some of the Fair's events.

All is not lost. I look forward to girl days and nights out and about in Connecticut this fall.

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Contestant in the VAIOTS womanless beauty pageant at Southwestern University PHINMA. (Source: Cheryl)

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Who's Better Looking?

In response to my invitation to Ask Me Anything, B wrote, "Does your wife ever think that you are better-looking than her when you are en femme because you do scrub up amazingly well?!"

My will wife criticize how I look en femme usually commenting on my hemline (too short), my hair color (too blonde) or my size (too big to pass). However, she has never mentioned that I am better-looking than her.

She is a pretty woman, however, our sense of fashion could not be more different. She usually wears jeans and a plain top with no makeup. The last time she wore high heels was when she marched down the aisle.

Dresses and heels are what I wear and I am always fully made-up. So, it is not fair to compare us because we dress so differently. On the other hand, I think I compare favorably with women who dress like I do.

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Karl Cruz
Karl Cruz, homecoming queen at Sweetwater Union High School in National City, California

Tuesday, September 18, 2018


My RAM is not what it used to be.

When I used the "Before and After" image in the Femulator slot of Wednesday's post, I thought that the femulator looked familiar, but I could not place her.

On Monday, Nikki commented thusly, "The femulator in question is Lt. Colonel Bryan/Bree Fram, an out and visible member of the USAF."

Suddenly, my RAM was refreshed. Not only did I recognize Bree, but I recalled that she had written here on five occasions (in 2012, 2014 and 2015):

👠 Bree Femulates in the UK – Part One, Two and Three

👠 Bree’s Favorite Photo (of Bree!)

👠 US Military in Transition

And so it goes.

Source: ShopStyle
Wearing Topshop jacket and skirt and Manila Grace sandals (Source: ShopStyle)

The Christine Jorgensen Story
Poster from the 1970 film The Christine Jorgensen Story

Monday, September 17, 2018

Gender Neutral Dining

The concept of gender-neutral dining is simple: help customers feel more comfortable by refraining from labeling them. For non-binary and trans diners especially, being addressed as "sir" or "ma’am" can be highly uncomfortable and jarring, which is why some restaurants are eliminating terms like "ladies and gentlemen" from their vocabulary. Another thing they’ve gotten rid of? Ladies first—the entire tradition of taking orders from and serving, well, ladies first. (distilled from PureWow)

I get it, but I love being addressed as "ma'am," or even better, "miss."

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Blue is for boys.
Blue is for boys.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Do blondes have more fun?

In response to my Ask Me Anything post, Pricilla sent me the following e-mail:
Hi Stana,
I have wondered why you chose to change your hair color from Blonde to Brown?? Don't Blondes have more fun!!!
You continue to look great.
Thank you for the question and the kind words!

I changed my hair color because I needed a change. (Isn't it a woman's prerogative to change her hair color?)

When I began seriously dressing as a woman, that is, not for a Halloween costume, I usually wore an red wig. Although my natural hair color was brown, I wore red because my parents always claimed that I was born a redhead and remained a redhead during my early years. So when I was choosing a wig color, I figured red might work since I started here as a redhead. Turned out that I liked myself as a redhead and wore various shades of red for years.

I finally went over to the light side in 2006 after hosting a support group meeting at a wig store (Tonkin's in Waterbury). As the hostess, I brought the snacks, played mother hen and had no intention of buying a new wig.

When the proprietor, Kathy Tonkin was finished bewigging the other girls, she said to me, "Your turn."

I thought, "What the heck" and told Kathy to work her magic on me.

Minutes later, she fitted a short blond wig on my head. When I looked in the mirror, I loved what I saw and I became a blonde.

I have been a blonde for the past 12 years... different shades of blonde, different hair styles, but always blonde. But I was getting a little bored with being a blonde and decided to try something different.

And so it goes.

Source: ShopStyle.com
Wearing Tibi blazer and skirt, L'Agence Daniella cami, Lente Danse bag (Source: ShopStyle.com)

Source: Pinterest
Before and After (Source: Pinterest)

Monday, September 10, 2018

If the Shoe Fits

I learned long ago that women's shoe sizes are all over the map. Sizes not only vary between shoe manufacturers, but the shoe sizes from the same manufacturer may also vary.

That being said, the best way to find shoes that fit is to go to a shoe store and try on the shoes in person.

That being said, sometimes you cannot go to a shoe store and have to buy shoes online size unseen. Such is the case with my most recent shoe purchases.

Recently, I had a hankering for a pair of gold high heel pumps and JustFab had just what I needed at a sales price of $21. JustFab is an online store with no brick and mortar presence, so I could not try on the shoe before purchasing it. I ordered a pair in my size (12, the largest size JustFab offers) and crossed my fingers until USPS delivered.

I also had a hankering for white ankle boots with a kitten heel and Payless had just what I needed at a sales price of $18. Payless has many brick and mortar stores in my neck of the woods, but checking their website, I could not find a local store that had the boots in my size. I ordered a pair in my size online and crossed my fingers until FedEx delivered.

USPS and FedEx delivered with different results.

JustFab's size 12 high heels were too small. I managed to squeeze my feet into the shoes, but the fit was so tight that there was no way I could walk in them comfortably for any length of time. USPS will return my shoes to JustFab for a refund.

Payless' size 12 boots fit perfectly. Not too loose and not too tight — they were just right!

And so it goes.

Update: I forgot to mention that JustFab shoes run small, so if you are a size 12 like me, you will probably find JustFab's size 12's too small (and 12 is the largest size they offer).

Ask Me Anything Anytime

You readers have asked me some great questions that I will begin answering real soon now.

By the way, there is no time limit for submitting questions, so you can ask me anything anytime. I look forward to your queries.

Source: New York and Company
Wearing New York and Company (Source: New York and Company)

Femulator, circa 1900
Femulator, circa 1900