Thursday, December 31, 2009

last lengthy additions of 2009

Femulate closes 2009 with some new additions to the Famous Females of Height List:

5'8" - Marisa Miller - model

5’8” – Rosalind Russell – actress - films - born in my hometown

5'9" - Bar Refaeli - model

5'9" - Diane Sawyer - news reporter - television

5'11" - Brooke Hogan - singer - daughter of Hulk Hogan

5'11" - Hilary Rhoda - model (photo right)

6'3" - Katrina Hancock - sports reporter (Detroit area) - television

6'8" - Amazon Eve - model

Thank you Elaine Armen and JayCee for the Amazon Eve info, Meg Winters for Hilary Rhoda, Susan McDonnell for Katrina Hancock , and Suzanne Moore for Brooke Hogan.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

my knee jerk

The story about the Pawlenty Newsweek interview came over the mojo wire late Monday night just as I was preparing to go to bed.

I was so outraged by the story that I quickly wrote about it here, then went to bed. In my outrage, I called Pawlenty a "Nazi" in both the title and text of my blog.

Next morning, I awoke and started having writer's regrets about calling Pawlenty a "Nazi."

To justify my name calling, I added the "update" to the post, which summarized the persecution of LGBT folks under the Nazi regime.

I still had writer's regrets and midday yesterday, I struck the word "Nazi" from the blog's title and replaced it with "transphobic." (I also struck that word from the first line of the post and replaced it with nothing.)

"Transphobic" was such a better choice than "Nazi." If I had not been so hasty publishing the original post, I like to think I would have used "transphobic" in the first place (after I calmed down about the story).

Sorry if I offended anybody with my first choice. Pawlenty is no more a "Nazi" than Obama is a "socialist," "communist," "fascist," or any other name the tea-baggers like to use when referring to our President.

On the other hand, what Pawlenty suggested is certainly on the road to a place I do not want to see our country go and he should be called out on it.

a proud parent

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Beware: transphobic Pawlenty wants to be our next president

Transgender advocates slammed Pawlenty over anti-transgender remarks in Newsweek interview.

Read all about it here.

UPDATE: Below is a brief history (courtesy of Wikipedia) of how the Nazi regime persecuted LGBTs. Don't think for a minute that certain factions on the right would not like to see the same thing happen in the USA; Pawlenty's pandering to these groups just strengthens their resolve and he deserves to be called out on it.

"In late February 1933, as the moderating influence of Ernst Röhm weakened, the Nazi Party launched its purge of homosexual (gay, lesbian, and bisexual; then known as homophile) clubs in Berlin, outlawed sex publications, and banned organized gay groups. As a consequence, many fled Germany (e.g., Erika Mann, Richard Plaut). In March 1933, Kurt Hiller, the main organizer of Magnus Hirschfeld's Institute of Sex Research, was sent to a concentration camp.

"On May 6, 1933, Nazi Youth of the Deutsche Studentenschaft made an organised attack on the Institute of Sex Research. A few days later the Institute's library and archives were publicly hauled out and burned in the streets of the Opernplatz. Around 20,000 books and journals, and 5,000 images, were destroyed. Also seized were the Institute's extensive lists of names and addresses of LGBT people. In the midst of the burning, Joseph Goebbels gave a political speech to a crowd of around 40,000 people. Hitler initially protected Röhm from other elements of the Nazi Party which held his homosexuality to be a violation of the party's strong anti-gay policy. However, Hitler later changed course when he perceived Röhm to be a potential threat to his power. During the Night of the Long Knives in 1934, a purge of those who Hitler deemed threats to his power took place. He had Röhm murdered and used Röhm's homosexuality as a justification to suppress outrage within the ranks of the SA. After solidifying his power, Hitler would include gay men among those sent to concentration camps during the Holocaust.

"Himmler had initially been a supporter of Röhm, arguing that the charges of homosexuality against him were manufactured by Jews. But after the purge, Hitler elevated Himmler's status and he became very active in the suppression of homosexuality. He exclaimed, 'We must exterminate these people root and branch... the homosexual must be eliminated.' (Plant, 1986, p. 99).
Memorial to Gay Victims of the Holocaust in Berlin (its inscription: Totgeschlagen - Totgeschwiegen (Struck Dead - Hushed Up))

"Shortly after the purge in 1934, a special division of the Gestapo was instituted to compile lists of gay individuals. In 1936, Heinrich Himmler, Chief of the SS, created the 'Reich Central Office for the Combating of Homosexuality and Abortion.'

"Gays were not initially treated in the same fashion as the Jews, however; Nazi Germany thought of German gay men as part of the 'Master Race' and sought to force gay men into sexual and social conformity. Gay men who would or could not conform and feign a switch in sexual orientation were sent to concentration camps under the 'Extermination Through Work' campaign.

"More than one million gay German men were targeted, of whom at least 100,000 were arrested and 50,000 were serving prison terms as convicted gay men. Hundreds of European gay men living under Nazi occupation were castrated under court order.

"Some persecuted under these laws would not have identified themselves as gay. Such 'anti-homosexual' laws were widespread throughout the western world until the 1960s and 1970s, so many gay men did not feel safe to come forward with their stories until the 1970s when many so-called 'sodomy laws' were repealed.

"Lesbians were not widely persecuted under Nazi anti-gay laws, as it was considered easier to persuade or force them to comply with accepted heterosexual behavior. However, they were viewed as a threat to state values and were often branded 'anti-social.'"

when the high heel shoe is on the other foot

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

2009: my favorite year (so far)

Year-end reviews appear everywhere this time of year*, so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and present my own year-end review.

This was a banner year for me and my blog.

Femulate readership more than doubled during 2009. A year ago, Femulate averaged just under 1500 hits per day; today, the blog averages over 3000 hits per day.

A year ago, 600 first-time visitors showed up per day; today, that average is 1300 per day.

Most telling is the repeat visitor statistic. A year ago, repeat visitors averaged 150 per day. Today, that statistic has more than tripled with an average of 475 repeat visitors per day! So, thank you to all my loyal readers.

There were two significant spikes in hits during the past year.

The first occurred during my trip to New York City. The hit count jumped as I began penning my trip diary and the count remained steady until the end of that diary. Then there was a hit count drop-off as the summer Internet doldrums kicked in.

The second significant spike occurred a few days before Halloween. It was as if everyone's femulation alarm clocks sounded off at the same time. But unlike the June jump in hits, a drop-off did not follow and the hit count has been impressive ever since with an all-time high hit count of 3628 occurring on December 1.

Enough with the statistics. On a personal front, this has been a fantastic year for me.

I have absolutely no fear about going out anywhere en femme. That was pretty much fait accompli in 2008, but this year, I was able to overcome the one big fear I still had when I went out: encounters with males.

I had no trouble mixing it up with females, but I avoided males whenever possible. In general, I think females (except those who may be "family") are more accepting of transwoman than males.

When I encounter females when I am out en femme, some may not figure me out and as a result, they just treat me like another female. Those who do figure me out seem to respect my desire to be a member of their club and they also treat me like another female. I can count on one hand the negative encounters I have had with females when I am en femme.

Males are something else altogether. I worried how males would react if they figured me out when I was out en femme. I did not want to find out the hard way, so that is why I avoided males. On the other hand, it is impossible to avoid all encounters with males and I can truly say that I cannot recall any negative encounters with the males I could not avoid, but I still continued to avoid them whenever I could.

Visiting New York City for four days en femme, I realized that it would be difficult to avoid the millions of males that populate Manhattan. I overcame the problem the very first evening I was in the Big Apple.

I had checked into my hotel and had changed into female mode for a night out with some local trans friends. While I was waiting to go out, I was adjusting the thermostat in my hotel room and managed to knock out the air conditioning. It was warm and I did not want to be without AC, so I called the front desk, and they said they would send up a repairmen.

In the past, I would have gotten back into boy mode as quickly as I could so I would not have to face the repairman en femme, but that evening, I decided that the repairman would not be the last male I would encounter during my NYC visit, so I remained en femme.

The repairman arrived, reset the AC, and was out the door in less than two minutes. He was pleasant and interacted with me as if nothing was amiss (other than the AC).

That interaction with the repairman set the tone for the rest of my stay in NYC as well as the rest of my stay on the planet Earth. I no longer fear encounters with males and I stopped avoiding them.

During my stay in NYC, I had no negative encounters with males. In fact, I had some positive encounters. Two males addressed me as "hon" (as in short for "honey"). And another male blew me a kiss while I was shopping in Sephora.

Those positive encounters convinced me that I was successfully passing as a female some of the time (and if you can make it as a female in New York City, you can make it as a female anywhere). My confidence was at an all-time high and has remained at that level ever since.

On another personal note, I came to the realization this year that I am a woman.

As I wrote in November, "I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman.

"True, my container is male (more or less), but its contents are 100% female.

"I am very adverse to fooling around with my container. Many things can go wrong and so far, my container has held up pretty well, so why mess with it. As a result, I have no interest in taking hormones or having surgery to modify my container so that it matches its contents.

"I am very happy being a woman and very glad that I am not a 'man.' I might be happier if I could present as a woman all of the time, but I have made choices in my life that make that impossible. So I live part-time as a male and part-time as a female, but no matter how I live, I am a woman all the time.

So that summarizes my year.

I accomplished a lot (I even managed to lose 10 pounds) and I am very happy with myself these days.

What will next year bring?

I am very excited about the prospects and wonder what I will be writing about one year from now.

* When else would you expect a year-end review, Bozo?

dressing with a little help from my friends

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Happy Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!



(And here is another photo from my Wednesday evening visit to the Mohegan Sun casino.)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

my amazing Amazon evening

Yesterday, I had a spectacular outing en femme.

I was dressed and out the door at 4 PM and drove to Middletown to dine with friends at an upscale restaurant. I was the first to arrive. A waitress seated me at our table and I ordered a mango martini.

My friends arrived a few minutes later: Maryann and Carole, the couple I have done outreach with so many times in the past, Robin and Arline, another couple who I have known for years, and one of my oldest trans friends, Diana.

Surprise! After Diana arrived, she announced that she was buying my dinner (in appreciation for some editing I have done for her recently). Thank-you, Diana.

The dinner and dinner conversation were excellent.

I told everyone that I was undecided about going to the Mohegan Sun casino after dinner. I was a little nervous about going by myself and needed a little encouragement.

Robin provided the encouragement. She has been to the casino numerous times en femme and said that I would have "no problem."

We departed around 7:15 PM and I drove 40 minutes to the casino. I never use valet parking, but it was so cold last night, I did not feel like walking through a damp, cold, and dimly-lit parking garage, so I pulled up to the entrance of the casino, gave the valet my car keys, and sashayed inside. I checked my coat and was ready to have some fun at the "Sun."

I immediately noticed that I was one of the few women in the casino wearing a dress (and a very nice dress at that). As a result, I caught men and women eyeing me at various times during my visit.

You can never be sure if they are looking because you are looking good or because you are looking trans, however, I do know I passed some of the time because while I was walking through the casino shopping mall, a guy who walked by me in the opposite direction remarked to his friends, "Did you see the Amazon?"

Furthermore, I did not hear a discouraging word during my visit. So, on the passing front, it was a very encouraging night.

The casino does not permit photography inside the casino, so I walked through the shopping mall looking for a place to take a photo and looking for someone to take the photo. When I found a photogenic spot, I asked the first friendly-looking woman I saw to take my photo and she happily agreed to do so (the result accompanies this blog posting).

Another reason I was in the mall was to check out the night club and get in some dancing, but the night club was not very busy. I imagine that on a Wednesday nights, the joint is usually not hopping, so I skipped the nightclub.

On the gambling front, I decided to gamble $100, no more, no less. I only play 25-cent slot machines, so I figured that $100 should be more than adequate for my two- or three-hour visit.

Immediately, I won $50, so I played with the casino's money for awhile, but I eventually fed their $50 and my $50 into their machines.

I had made up my mind to leave the casino at 10:30 PM. I was about $20 into my second $50 at about 10:15, when I sat down at what I figured would be the last slot machine of the evening. On my fifth or sixth spin, I won $150. Perfect timing. I collected my winnings, collected my coat and the valet collected my car with me tipping the coat check man and valet generously.

Last night was the first time I ever accessorized with a scarf. The scarf I wore was one of my deceased Mother's scarves; I felt that she was with me throughout the evening and may have brought me some luck at the slot machines. Thank-you, Mom!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Wednesday outing

I am going out en femme Wednesday evening for a holiday dinner at a nice restaurant with some friends from the transworld.

After dinner, I am not sure what I am going to do.

Maybe I will go to Mohegan Sun casino. Do a little gambling, do a little drinking, do a little dancing, and have a lot of fun.

I plan to wear the retro Mad Men-inspired apple green dress that I bought at Dress Barn back in September. (I tried it on this morning and it looks spectacular!)

Needless to say, a full report will follow on Christmas Eve or thereabouts.

something borrowed

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Monday, December 21, 2009

the challenge continues

Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I mentioned how I lost ten pounds since mid-September and I wanted to keep it off, so Thanksgiving would be a challenge for me.

Well, I made it through Thanksgiving and the food- and drink-filled weeks that followed without gaining a pound. I didn't lose anything, but considering all the temptations before me, I think I have been a very good girl maintaining my weight.

The challenge continues through New Year's Day and two weeks from today, I hope to report that the ten pounds I lost are still lost!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

tall Bond ladies

A few days ago, I read an article about James Bond films on the Internet and I realized that some of the actresses in the 007 flicks qualify for the Famous Females of Height List. In fact, two tall 007 actresses (Diana Rigg and Famke Janssen) have been on the list for awhile now.

Here are all the tall actresses and the 007 film they appeared in.

5’8” – Carole Bouquet – For Your Eyes Only

5’8” – Claudine Auger – Thunderball

5’8” – Lois Chiles – Moonraker

5’8” – Lois Maxwell – Miss Moneypenny in numerous James Bond films

5’8’ – Shirley Eaton – Goldfinger

5’9” – Diana Rigg (see photo)On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

5’9” – Maud Adams – Octopussy

6’0” – Famke Janssen – Goldeneye

femulation par excellence

Click on the image to make it big!

Friday, December 18, 2009

what's good for the gander is good for the gosling

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Christmas shopping success

The two dresses I bought for myself as a Christmas present arrived yesterday and they both fit perfectly!

I can recall the days that dresses from Vickie's were never big enough for me. A little downsizing on my part and a little upsizing by Vicky seems to have made a difference.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

last night’s dream

girdle091217 I seldom remember my dreams, but when I do remember a dream, it is usually trans-related.

Overnight, I dreamed I was packing to attend a transgender convention. My mother was helping me pack and offered to lend me anything I needed.

Throughout the dream, I kept refusing whatever items she offered because I already had those items in my wardrobe.

Finally, she said with a knowing smile, “I bet you don’t have any of these.”

And with that, she revealed a storage area in the back of her closet that was full of girdles from the 1950s and 1960s.

That got my attention and as I began perusing the girdles to decide what to borrow, I awoke from my dream.

The dream interests me because I never confided in my mother about my crossdressing. I am sure that she knew, but she never brought up the subject.

Almost to her dying day, she often asked me if there was anything I wanted to tell her. At those times, I thought she was just trying to make conversation, but in retrospect, I think she was offering to lend a friendly ear.

I so regret not confiding in my mother. I believe my life would have been different if I knew my mother supported her “daughter.”

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

make mine Chanel, too

chanelsuit In The Huffington Post, Morane Barkai, suggests unleashing the lady in the corporate suit.

She writes, “The problem arises when women dress like men would dress if they were women. When that happens, even a breathtaking babe can turn into an asexual android on a mission to kill. Somehow, as she zips her skirt, the ovaries take leave, and in the process of buttoning her shirt, a figurative Adam's apple bulges in her throat.”

Read the rest of the story here.

By the way, being a fanatical film fan, I could not help noting Ms. Barkai’s erroneous statement that Meg Ryan appeared in the film Working Girl. Methinks Ms. Barkai confused Ms. Ryan for Melanie Griffith.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

'tis the season...

Click on the image to enlarge it.

don’t raise your boy to be macho

boy-playing-with-doll-copy In The Huffington Post, Philip Slater’s writes in his piece titled The Cowardice of Machismo, “We live in a world today… in which women are outnumbering men not only in colleges, but in all the professions, because they aren't mentally crippled by the overwhelming irrelevancy of traditional male gender training -- a training that robs those imbued with it of the mental flexibility necessary to deal with the complex world we actually inhabit. Making boys macho today is condemning them to irrelevance.”

Read the rest of the story here.

Monday, December 14, 2009

fitting in

women_at_work Three years ago, my company was bought out by another company. A reorganization followed, which resulted in my boss (a male) reporting directly to a female about 20 years his junior.

It was no big surprise since my old company was "old school" with very few females in charge, whereas the new company was a relatively new company with many females in charge in various departments.

One month ago, we had a lay-off. My boss was let go. A male and a female co-worker in my department were also let go. A reorganization followed and my new boss is now a female about 20 years my junior. Also they hired back the female co-worker who was let go, but none of the males that were let go.

My profession was a male bastion for ages. Now my department is run by a female and most of my co-workers are female.

When my profession was a male stronghold, the females in my profession tried to fit into the “old boy’s club.” They wore little or no makeup, their hair was in a short style, and they wore tops and slacks – never a skirt or dress. Their only feminine accoutrements were a purse and maybe some stud earrings.

As my profession becomes a female stronghold, maybe I should try to fit in.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Christmas shopping

Christmas time is here again.

I expect to receive gifts from my family, but none of those gifts will be intended for Staci Lana.

I was very good this year and I think I deserve a gift or two with a frill or two. So as I have done in the past, I purchased a couple of gifts for myself today.

There is a dress sale at Vicky's; what more could a boy like me ask for?

I purchased two sweater dresses (pictured here in the colors I ordered) and now I await their delivery.

Merry Christmas to me!

Friday, December 11, 2009

turn off gene and change your sex

Simple technique changes sex of a mouse – and reveals the gender war that rages in all of us

One of the great dogmas of biology is that gender is fixed from birth, determined by the inheritance of certain genes on the X and Y sex chromosomes. But this simplistic idea has been exploded by the latest study, which demonstrated that fully-developed adult females can undergo a partial sex change following a genetic modification to a single gene.

Read the rest of the story today's edition of The Independent.

(Thank you, Gwen, for alerting me to this article.)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

transgender regret

Joanne Herman, transgender advocate, transwoman, and author of Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not, wrote an interesting piece about transgender regret on The Huffington Post.

"Many will have regrets about the consequences of their transition, but few will regret the transition itself. In the unusual case where the consequences were overwhelming enough to prompt a de-transition, the return to the old gender is seldom satisfactory either."

Read the rest of the article here.

a picture is worth a thousand words

At 5' 11", Lily Cole is already on my Famous Females of Height list, but after seeing her photo (right) in today's The Huffington Post standing next to Terry Gilliam at a film premiere, I feel she deserves another mention in Femulate today.

Venezuelan womanless pageant breaks machismo mold

The Huffington Post had this story about the Miss Fat Gay competition in Venezuela.

"There are a lot of macho types who don't like seeing men in women's clothing," added Alberto Maia, 27, Miss Aragua. "It's not easy for us. Machismo is a disease."

Read the rest of the story and view a video here and here.

Monday, December 7, 2009

“the femulated” and my heroes/heroines

Don’t know if you noticed, but I recently changed the title of the femulated images (in the left frame of this blog) from “He Femulated” to “The Femulated.” That change was in response to a reader who pointed out that some of the femulated people I featured there might not cotton to the pronoun “he.” Thus, I made the change to a more gender neutral title.

Actually, “The Femulated” was the original title of the femulated images, but when I changed the title of the upper image from “Femulate This” to “Femulate Her,” I changed the title of the lower image to “He Femulated” in order to complement the upper title.

Also, if I have a good online reference for the femulated individual, I will include a link to that reference in the individual’s name in the image caption. For example, if you click on the name of today’s “The Femulated” femulator, Grayson Perry, it brings up Wikipedia’s entry for the artist.

writer091207 my heroes/heroines

Grayson Perry/Claire is one of my heroes/heroines, as is Paul Whitehead/Trisha Van Cleef, who I featured over the weekend in “The Femulated” spot. They are people who femulate and make no bones about it. Although they use femme names when they femulate and have dual identities, they do not have secret identities that they hide behind like I do.

Some days, I seriously consider chucking my secret identity and revealing my dual identity. Then, I come to my senses and reconsider taking that step.

The thing is that lately, the days I consider chucking my secret identity are far outnumbering the days I come to my senses.

I am the kind of person that thinks about doing something, then wakes up one day and just does it letting the pieces fall where they may. Some of those pieces turn out to be insignificant and become non-issues, while those fallen pieces that turn out to be more significant work themselves out eventually.

So, maybe 2010 will be the year that I feature myself in “The Femulated” spot with the caption “<my male name>/Staci Lana Hunter, writer.”

Friday, December 4, 2009

TGIF… really!

I have been a very busy, busy, busy girl this week and I am really glad that Friday is here!


Nicole Wears Staci

Viewing the entertainment news on the web this morning, I see one of the premier members of my Famous Females of  Height list, the 5’11’ Nicole Kidman, appearing at the London opening of her latest film, Nine.

I love her outfit; it is so Staci! (I never met a short pleated skirt I didn’t like.) And her shoes are a delight, too (they are “Hamish” from Nine West).

She looks so lovely!

Tuesday Again

After revisiting yesterday’s post and reading your comments, I have additional thoughts about my day out en femme on Tuesday.

To improve our outreach skills, we read the student’s comments/reactions after each class. They are interesting at a minimum and often reveal things we would never know otherwise, so they are very valuable tools.

I ate up the positive comments about my outfit, as well as the comments that some students were flabbergasted when they learned our birth genders.

I was surprised that some of the students were apprehensive about our visit. They did not say what caused their apprehension, but the good news was that their fears disappeared when they learned that we are real people just like they are.

If they all left with that positive impression, I think we did our job.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tuesday en femme: the whole story


I feel so invigorated when I awake on a day I am going out en femme and Tuesday was no different.

I did my makeup and hair and achieved a different look.

I penciled in my eyebrows as I think they should look and then I took a tweezer and removed every hair that was not inside the boundaries I had penciled in. The result was stunning! It was the first time I had truly feminine eyebrows and I wanted to show them off.

Usually, I wear my hair with bangs to cover my less than feminine eyebrows, but yesterday, I parted my hair on one side and swept my bangs aside to reveal my eyebrows.

Cosmetic experts say that you should emphasize your eyes or your lips, but not both. With all the attention on my eyes, I used a pale pink lipstick rather than my usual choice of a red shade.

Overall, I looked different, maybe a little younger and I was very satisfied with my makeup work.

I finished dressing and checked myself out in the mirror. I immediately disliked my gold chainlink necklace and earrings. I don't know if it was their color or what, but they just did not go with my outfit, so I chucked the necklace. Before I hit the road, I chucked the earrings, too. I did not have anything else that was better, so I went without jewelry except for my watch.

I snapped a few photos, grabbed my purse, drove to the mall 15 minutes away, and arrived just as the stores were opening.

Originally, I intended to shop for a coat, but now I had some new shopping ideas.

The dress I was wearing had a neckline that should reveal something besides the flat plains of Kansas. After all, I nearly fill a B cup, so I figured with a little adjustment, some of that B could be revealed. My plan was to visit Victoria's Secret and shop for a bra that could do push-ups.

I walked halfway across the mall to Vickie's. The mall was quiet, mostly store staff and elderly shoppers. No one paid much attention to me except for one gent, who ogled me.

Entering Vickie's, a saleswoman welcomed me and I told her what I wanted. She directed me to Jackie, their bra saleswoman and I told her what I wanted, too. She said she had just what I needed and asked me my bra size.

"38B" was not what she wanted to hear and she explained that the perfect bra for me only came in C cups (and beyond). She suggested trying on a 36C and/or a 38C. I agreed and she fetched one in each size in my color of choice (black), then escorted me to the dressing room.

I removed my dress and bra and tried on the 36C. It was too small and I never even tried to hook it closed. The 38C was a better fit and gave a big boost to my breasts. The flat plains of Kansas gave way to the rolling hills of Southern New England.

Jackie checked me out, adjusted the straps, and proclaimed that it was a perfect fit.

I decided to wear my new bra for the rest of the day, so I put on my dress, exited the dressing room, and immediately was aware of the new topography below my neckline. Wow! I felt like a new woman.

My next shopping goal was to find earrings to go with my outfit. Clip-on earrings are a rare commodity and I was not optimistic.

I tried Claire's and asked the saleswoman if she had any. She showed me the racks containing clip-ons and there were only about 25 pairs in all, but there was one pair that was perfect: a pair of dark gold open disk earrings about 1-1/4-inch in diameter.

I paid for the earrings, exited the store, found a seat in the mall, and put on my purchase, which you can see in the photo above.

I strolled through the mall and perused the dress racks in Macy's and JCPenney's. There were a lot of nice dresses, but only one that I really wanted to buy, but sadly, it was not in my size. So, I left the mall empty-handed albeit with new bling on my ears and new lingerie supporting my breasts.

It was a nice morning at the mall, but the afternoon was coming up fast and it was time to drive to Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven where I would visit two human sexuality classes to do outreach.


Twenty-five minutes later, I parked my car in the university parking lot. I freshened my makeup, then walked to the correct classroom building where I met my fellow presenters, two male-to-female transsexuals, the spouse of one, and a female-to-male transsexual.

I have done outreach with all of them before and we chatted until Professor Anna Schildroth arrived and escorted us to the classroom. (The photo below shows me and Professor Schildroth in the student center between classes.)

As we enter the classroom, I always pay attention to the students' reaction when they first see us. Usually, they try to act cool and not pay any special attention to us, but some sneak peeks at us surreptitiously and a few check us out thoroughly. We usually surprise them because we are not what they expected because we are convincing in our presentations.

Both classes had about 30 students with females in the majority.

We each gave a short description of ourselves.

Mine was different than in the past. I basically reiterated what I wrote in my Whatever Works blog entry , i.e., "I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman."

No one blinked when I said this.

After our short biographies, the class and presenters split into two groups and each half of the class had an opportunity to ask us all questions. I was teamed with the male-to-female transsexual and her spouse.

A few of the students asked questions, but the majority was silent, so whenever I had an opportunity to answer a question, I went on and on answering it in the hope that something I said would draw them out.

The "how did you arrive at your female name" query came up in each session.

Another repeated question for me was about my nails; the questioners wanted to know what I did about my acrylic nails since I was in boy mode most of the time. Stick-on fake nails was my answer and they usually responded "they look as good as acrylics."

A couple of questions/comments were complimentary. One female student said my hair looked great and wanted the details about my hairdo. A couple of female students loved my shoes and wanted to know where I bought them. Still another complimented me on my fashion sense.

Another female student asked if guys ever hit on me and what do I do if they do. I consider that question very complimentary because the questioner must think I look good enough that a guy might hit on me.

I did receive one question that I never received before: since I stated that I am attracted to women and not men, does that make me a lesbian? I guess so.

By the way, my shoes were comfortable until I developed a blister on the fourth toe of each foot. Even with the blisters, they were still tolerable. In fact, I was unaware of the blisters until I took off my pantyhose at the end of the day.

The class ended at 4:30 PM and I was spent, but it was another great day out en femme.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Tuesday en femme

20091201 I am very busy today and do not have time to write about my day out en femme on Tuesday. I promise to write all about it real soon now, but until then, I will leave you with a photo of myself ready to go out yesterday morning.

As they say, “a picture is worth a thousand words.”

Monday, November 30, 2009

Tuesday en femme

Untitled-1 Tuesday is a day out en femme for me.

I plan to be dressed and out the door in time to go shopping as soon as the stores open in the morning.

In the afternoon, I will visit two human sexuality classes to do outreach about being trans.

I will probably eat lunch in between classes at the student center and/or I may go out to eat after the second class.

Whatever I do, I will have a full report here for you to read as soon as possible.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

What is it that makes a woman?

For his final year degree show at London South Bank University, Lee Slaymaker asks, "What is it that makes a woman? Or for that matter a man? Gender is often argued to be a social construction, free of the constraints of biological sex, with the result being that the term ‘woman’ may just as easily be applied to a feminine male subject as it is to a female one."

For the project, Mr. Slaymaker created three photographic images titled The Woman As Homemaker, The Woman As Sexual Object, and The Woman As Chef (photo above).

In each photo, a male inhabits the feminine role, "thus calling in to question the rigidity of socially accepted notions of the gender binary: not only do these images seek to challenge representations of the feminine gender but also those of the male subject."

To see the entirety of Mr. Slaymaker's project, click here.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

new heights

The following statuesque stars join the Femulate Famous Females of Height List:

5' 8" - Lorraine Bracco, (photo right) actress, tv's The Sopranos

5' 8" - Frances Conroy, actress, tv's Six Feet Under

5' 8" - Julia Stiles, actress, the Bourne film trilogy

5' 10" - Natascha McElhone, actress, tv's Californication

5' 11" - Margaret Colin, actress, tv's Gossip Girl

Thank you, Lee, for suggesting the last three ladies.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving


Dolly Parton leading the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2007.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. – Dolly Parton

My feelings exactly. – Staci Lana

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

my reputation preceded me

Last week, I ordered a pair of shoes from Payless ShoeSource.

Via UPS, I tracked my shoes' progress cross-country to my local Payless store and they arrived midday yesterday. I planned to pick up my shoes today during the lunch hour.

At a quarter past high noon, I drove to the store, parked the car, and walked inside. A woman was at the check-out desk paying for two pairs of shoes. As I waited, I jealously admired her black patent high heel pump purchase in size 8.

When she was done, I approached the check-out desk and the sales rep looked at me and spoke my male name while reaching under the desk to fetch my shoes. I was in boy mode, so using my male name was appropriate, but how did she know I was the person collecting the online shoe order?

I have seen that sales rep in the store a number of times. I believe I purchased women's shoes from her while I was in boy mode on at least one occasion, so maybe she remembered me when she saw my name on the order.

I imagine I am memorable; how many males come into the store, admit they "do drag," and proceed to try on all the woman's shoes in size 11? Not many, I imagine.

The store is on the way to university where I will be doing outreach on Tuesday, so if I have time, maybe I will stop in and let her see how I look wearing the shoes en femme.

By the way, the shoes are very nice and very comfortable. I tried them on when I arrived home and wore them for about a half hour without any foot issues.

younger eyes

avon_eyes I am an Avon lady, so I am very familiar with their products and use some of them regularly.

Avon has just introduced a new product to correct crow’s feet. Their product blurb reads:

The first 2-in-1 treatment to resurface & visibly fill crow's feet… at home. Professional crow’s feet laser treatments can be painful and costly (up to $2000 per treatment). ANEW CLINICAL Crow’s Feet Corrector is a specialized eye treatment system uniquely formulated to smooth out and fill in lines around the delicate eye area — no doctors, no lasers. IN JUST 3 DAYS crow's feet lines look plumped out and leveled. OVER TIME 100% of women showed a reduction in the length, depth and number of crow's feet wrinkles.

Girls my age have crow’s feet, so I was very interested and ordered the product for myself.

After using the crow’s feet corrector for less than two weeks, I have noticed an improvement. My crow’s feet were not that bad, so I did not notice much of a difference in that area, but I did notice a big improvement regarding the wrinkles under my eyes. The corrector removed all the wrinkles and now I have smooth skin under my eyes. So, I can definitely recommend this product with one caveat.

The resurfacer applicator (step 1 of the 2-step process) can clog. If you squeeze too hard trying to unclog the applicator, you may release more of the product than you can use at one time (like I did). To work around this problem, run the applicator under hot water to unclog the clog.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

the challenge


I love Thanksgiving for all the following reasons:

  • A guaranteed four-day weekend every year
  • The food
  • Big balloons bumping down Broadway
  • The food
  • The Rockettes*
  • The food
  • Sleeping in late on Black Friday
  • The leftovers
  • Did I mention the food?

That being said,  I lost ten pounds since mid-September and I want to keep it off, so Thanksgiving will be a challenge for me. Wish me luck!

* Going to New York City the past two years to see Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person, I sadly discovered that The Radio City Rockettes are not in the parade! They only appear at the end of the parade in front of Macy’s storefront for the television audience.

Monday, November 23, 2009


We celebrate Thanksgiving Day on Thursday.

"Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general," according to Wikipedia.

No harvest here, so I guess I express “gratitude in general.”

Mother and Father are deceased, but I know that they are around in a spirit-in-the-sky kind of way, so I want to thank them for raising a beautiful daughter and not interfering with my feminine ways when I was growing up.

Maybe they could have been a little more encouraging by buying me some dresses to wear around the house (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s) and buying me some dolls of my very own (so I wouldn’t have to borrow my sister’s). It probably would have made my sister happy, too; I wouldn’t be borrowing her stuff and she would have had a sister to play with.

On the other hand, it could have been a lot worse and they could have forced me to be masculine!

So, thank you Mom and Pop for letting me be me.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

600 K and counting

Yay... the Femulate hit counter passed the 600,000 mark today!

Thank you all for visiting my blog.


(updated below)

I like the sweater dress. They cling to my curves and look good on me, so I am always on the outlook for a new sweater dress to add to my wardrobe.

The front page of Kohl's advertisement in today's newspaper features a cute sweater dress, which reminded me that I have $20 credit at Kohl's and a $10 off coupon.


I will definitely visit Kohl's later this week.


On the day before Thanksgiving, I went to the local Kohl's store and could not find the sweater dresses.

C'est la vie.

Friday, November 20, 2009

these days

calendar Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. Honor the dead, who have gone before us struggling to find a place in society as a trans-person. But do not forget to celebrate the living, who continue to fight the good fight.

Thursday, I will not be going to NYC to view the Thanksgiving day parade. I went two years ago and it was great, so I went again last year, and it was not as great.

I will probably go again, maybe next year or maybe next next year, but this year, I will watch it on television.

Anyway, in honor of the Thanksgiving day parade, my "Femulate Her" models for the next week will be exclusively from Macy's, the folks responsible for the parade.

Tuesday after Thanksgiving (December 1) is my next day out en femme.

I plan to be dressed to kill in time to be at the mall when it opens to shop for a new winter coat and whatever else strikes my fancy.

After shopping, I will drive to New Haven to do outreach at a pair of human sexuality classes at the state university. One class begins during the noon hour and the other class begins in the mid-afternoon, so during the break, I will have a late light lunch at the student center and chat with the professor and other outreach presenters.

I enjoy doing outreach. Typically, there are three or four other presenters: a mixed bag of post-op, pre-op, no-op, male-to-female or female-to-male transsexuals. We each spend five to ten minutes telling the class who we are (our mini-biographies), then the class asks questions.

I have been doing outreach for 3-1/2 years, so many of the questions I encounter are questions I have heard before, but there are always a few questions that are unique and sometimes so unexpected that they force me to think hard about my answer. Those questions are worth the price of admission.

After outreach, I may call it a day or I may have an early dinner if any of the other presenters are interested in dining with me.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Staci buys new shoes

snake-print I needed a pair of brown shoes to go with some earth tone dresses I bought recently.

I checked a few online shoe stores, but nothing caught my eye until I visited Payless ShoeSource and perused their new arrivals. There I found the pictured slingback platform shoe.

Its description reads, “Show off your wild side with this exotic slingback. It features a snake-print patent upper, pretty peep toe, adjustable slingback for a good fit, a padded insole for comfort and a sultry 4" wrapped heel with 1/2" platform. Manmade materials.”

They had my size in stock, so I ordered a pair for $24.99 with free shipping to my local Payless brick and mortar store.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Saturday night photos and Windows Live Writer

CDJanie started using Windows Live Writer to compose posts on her blog.

I was impressed with its image-handling capabilities, so I could not resist trying out the software myself. Downloaded, installed, up and running, I am using Windows Live Writer to compose this post.

IMG_1250aIMG_1253a copy

To test out its image handling prowess, I have inserted and manipulated two more photos of me from Saturday night.

The software offers some cool imaging options. So I added drop shadows and tilted the photos. That was easy!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Why Men Are Becoming More Like Women

Marcus Buckingham writes in The Huffington Post today:

In its recent special on the State of Women, Time magazine announced that the gender wars were over and declared a tie. "It's no longer a man's world," Time concluded. "Nor is it a woman's nation. It's a cooperative, with bylaws under constant negotiation, and expectations that profits be equally shared."

I'm not so sure. In a war, no matter the outcome of a certain skirmish or battle, the winner is the party whose attitudes, behaviors and preoccupations come to dominate the postwar landscape. By this measure, the outcome of the gender wars, if wars they were, is clear: women won.

Read the rest of the story here.