Saturday, October 22, 2011

Dressing to Please Yourself

The topic of Ginger Burr's blog this week is "Please Yourself First" when it comes to deciding what to wear and dealing with people who criticize your wardrobe decisions.

"Generally speaking when you feel fabulous about how you look (even if others do not totally agree), their unsolicited comments have much less charge to them."

Her words are applicable to cisgender and trangender woman alike and I highly recommend reading them.

Unless there is something technically wrong with what I am wearing, like a run in my pantyhose, I ignore negative comments about my choice of dress. If I am happy with the way I look, that is what matters to me and I will be comfortable in my skins.

When I went to the mall the other day, I thought I was one of the best dressed customers, male or female, in the mall (at least in comparison to the ones I saw).

Do you realize how enpowering that is?

You just want to strut your stuff. And if someone checks you out, you know why --- because your dress is attractive, you stand out in the crowd. People are thinking that she or he really knows how to put herself or himself together.

Now I don't recommend wearing an evening gown and tiara to go shopping at the mall. Instead, dress a little over the top, but in a way that is plausible. For example, my mallwear was plausible for a businesswoman shopping or working at the mall. And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Which reminds me, when I was wandering through the racks in Nordstrom on an outing earlier this year, a woman came up to me and asked me a question because she thought I was a Nordstrom saleswoman.

And so it goes.


  1. I think girls like us tend to take more time and trouble over our presentation than most shoppers, so we are bound to stand out a bit.

    If I am going out I'm not going to just wear some old jeans and a sweat shirt, I can do that any time, I want to be special and look special on my special days. If anyone has a problem with that, it's not my problem.

  2. My cross dressing experience has taught me plenty about what to wear while out. Time, place and, yes, goal, all play a huge role regarding what's appropriate and what's not. Looking at Jamie from 1994, I can only hope she didn't allow that pretty woman to get put away!

  3. No wonder that someone asked you if you are a saleswoman! The way you are Stana is inspiring and extremely female, you are doing great. Not only while shopping, but while talking with students as you did, or walking on the catwalk, and yes you look younger!
    With warm hugs from an admirer,


  4. Dear Stana,

    I agree with your views on dressing for public outings. Many sisters in my CD support and social group strongly suggest wearing casual pants or jeans and top when visiting a mall "to blend in". I'm with you, that short of wearing such things as a bridal gown, formal ball gown, or Playboy Bunny outfit, you can wear a fashionable dress or skirt suit or skirt and blouse with 3 to 4 inch heels ANYTIME at a mall -- as you said, you could be a businesswoman or worker in a fine women's department. As a 6-1, 210 pound T-girl, I was totally comfortable wearing an attractive and very feminine dress and 4" black patent pumps at a major Atlanta mall at 2 PM on a Tuesday afternoon (and despite the work day and time, the mall was fairly crowded). I bought panties and got no odd look or reaction from the Nordsrom's sales clerk, nor any noticeable reactions from ANY of the men and women I passed in my 2 hour visit through the entire mall.




  5. I overdress and I'm not going to stop!

    Saturdays are the worst shopping days, if you're overdressed. Weekdays, you're a businesswoman out during her lunch break, or after work. Sunday, you just came from church. Saturday... you're just a woman who likes to dress nicely. But you'll stand out more.

    That said, I plan to spend next Saturday in Tucson in a casual top and nice skirt and heels. AND I'll pack a nice dress in case I go out in the evening.