Monday, August 31, 2020

Not One Iota

Going out for the first time is a very big step in the life of a femulator.

When I grew tired of the closet, I wanted to go out en femme, but I was very apprehensive. After years of practice in the closet, I thought my dress, hair and makeup were passable, but my size worried me.

I did go out en femme to Halloween parties about a half dozen times and those experiences should have given me confidence about my femulating abilities. In each case, I dressed in “office girl drag” and strangers at those parties asked about me – they wanted to know, “Who is the woman not in costume?” Yet, I still shrank away from going out en femme because I thought my size would expose me as a faux female.

After about 20 years of femulating in the closet and out on Halloween, I joined a support group (Connecticut Outreach Society) that met 30 minutes away via the interstate. The group provided the option to dress at their meeting hall if desired, but I dressed at home and drove to the hall en femme. Perhaps, my Halloween experiences had emboldened me enough so that I did not fear driving en femme without the safety net of October 31.

I was a regular attendee of the support group’s meetings and eventually was on their board of directors, edited their newsletter and organized their annual banquets.

In addition to the annual banquet, about once a year, my support group had an outing – usually to a restaurant where we were ensconced in a separate dining room so as not to scare the civilians. I did not cotton much to those arrangements, but it was better than nothing and it did give me an opportunity to mix with the civilian staff of the restaurant and any civilian customers that I might encounter entering or exiting the establishment. And being a rebellious sort, I always used the civilian restroom instead of the bathroom assigned to us girls in order to mix it up with the civilians.

In retrospect, those outings don't seem like much, but they were baby steps in the right direction.

I wanted more, but I still feared that my size would out me. I attended a few trans conventions, which were typically held in high-rise hotels. In those scenarios, there was a greater chance to mix with the civilians, but in truth, the hotels were just a bigger closet than the one at home or at the hall where my support group met.

At one convention, a friend dragged me out of the hotel to shop and dine. Although I looked passable, those were deer-in-the-headlight moments. I acted like a man in a dress in fear of being found out rather than acting like a natural born woman. As a result, I was read right and left.

I retreated to the closets where I felt more comfortable and I became even more active in my support group editing their newsletter and running their annual banquet. The latter probably helped me a lot because I had to deal with civilians who ran the hotel where we held our banquets. In boy mode, I would contact the banquet person at the hotel and meet with her to arrange the event. In doing so, I was admitting to a civilian that I was trans and guess what? The world did not end and the news did not phase her one iota!

As I became more active, the need to go out increased. Finally, I had to do something, so one day, I dressed to shop – sweater tunic, leggings, booties, etc (see photo above) and drove to mall. I sat in my car for almost a half hour before I could overcome my fear and push myself out of my car and into the mall.

As an average looking, middle-aged woman, I was invisible shopping in the mall. No one paid any attention to me except for the sales people trying to sell me their wares. If any sales person figured me out, he or she did not indicate the discovery and treated me as the woman I portrayed. And guess what? The world did not end and my presence in the mall did not phase the civilians one iota.

The flood gates were now open and I began going out with great abandon. I attended a four-day workshop in Manhattan as a woman, I started doing outreach at colleges and universities as a woman,  I began attending ham radio events as a woman, I attended my law school reunion as a woman, etc. Whenever I went out, I went out as a woman.

And guess what? The world did not end and my presence in the world as a woman did not phase the civilians one iota.

Source: Beyond the Rack
Wearing Bosccolo

Jack McBrayer
Jack McBrayer femulating on television's 30 Rock : A One Time Special.

Friday, August 28, 2020

What Were You Made Of?

Among the books I owned as a child was a volume of nursery rhymes. That book included the following verse.

What Are Little Boys Made Of?

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails,
And puppy-dogs' tails;
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And all that's nice;
That's what little girls are made of.

As a child, I found frogs and snails repugnant and I was afraid of dogs. On  the other hand, I loved sugar and spice. Also, I preferred things that were nice versus things that were not so nice, which often seemed to be preferred by my male contemporaries.

I was a little girl, but I did not know it. Luckily, I figured it out after I grew up to be a big girl.

Source: Venus
Wearing Venus

Mark Tishman femulated Glukoza on Russian television’s One to One!
You can view the femulation on YouTube.

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Four More Years (Goddess, Help Us!)

Writing for Vox, Katelyn Burns surmises how four more years of the current administration would affect transgender and LGBQ people (we would likely see our rights further chipped away).

Read all about it on Vox.


GOP convention speaker thanks the impeached President for rolling back transgender rights

As reported by The American Independent, Cissie Graham Lynch, the daughter of Franklin Graham and the granddaughter of Billy Graham, praised the impeached President for undoing much of the Obama administration's work to advance LGBTQ rights while giving a speech on the second night of the 2020 Republican National Convention.

Lynch, who serves on the executive evangelical advisory board of the impeached President's faith advisory council, took aim at transgender equality in particular and engaged in fear-mongering about transgender children.

Source: Intermix
Wearing Golden Goose jacket and Intermix dress

Nathan Janak
Nathan Janak femulates Ariana Grande on television's All That.
You can view this femulation on YouTube.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

A Leg Up

Unlike the laddies, ladies have many hosiery options (unless, of course, you are a laddy who dresses like a lady).

I started femulating when ladies wore stockings with seams that were suspended by garters, typically, the garters built-into the girdles they wore.

That's how I started, but shortly thereafter, my hosiery supplier (Mom) switched to a new type of hosiery: stockings without seams. Since Mom switched, I also switched to stockings without seams, which were still suspended by “my” panty girdle (“my” because my girdle was “borrowed” from Mom).

A few years later, Mom switched again – to a another new type of hosiery: pantyhose. I switched too and wore pantyhose for over 35 years.

About ten years ago, I switched to thigh-high stockings with built-in stay-up support (I prefer the Berkshire brand). In general, I am very happy with the switch. During warm weather, they are cooler than pantyhose. In all weather, they are sexier than pantyhose and when nature calls, thigh highs are a non-issue unlike pantyhose.

My only complaint with thigh highs is that sometimes there is slippage and I have to find a ladies’ room to pull them back up, although, I do admit to sneaking a surreptitious thigh-high adjustment outside the confines of the ladies' room if the coast is clear.

I am curious.

What type of hosiery do you girls wear when you are dressing up?

Leave a comment or e-mail me with your answers.

Source: Intermix
Wearing A.L.C.

Irakli femulating Alena Apina on Russian television’s One to One!
You can view the femulation on YouTube.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020


I received the following e-mail recently.
I am a life-long TV, so I feel able to comment.
My advice to nearly all those who contribute to your blog is simple:
Throw away the cameras and look long and hard in the mirror. Look at the women around you; you should blush with embarrassment. Cover your shoulders and knees and get rid of those “long luscious locks.” Very few women over 40 look good with long hair. None of you (and me) really look anything like women and that is a tragedy.
By the way, I have no photos of me. The last that were taken were 30 years ago for an article in The Times. No! It was 40 years ago – time flies.
Stop being delusional. A mirror does not lie except at a fairground.
Look at the professional femulators and actors. Even they with all the advantages – professional makeup, expensive wigs, etc., are rarely convincing and face the reality of a cruel life.
We’ve all been dealt a lousy hand!
My response: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. That is especially true if you are a male-to-female transperson.

We have a lot going against us. Compared to the quintessential woman, we do not compare favorably. We are too tall, too heavy, too wide, too hairy. Our voices are too deep, our faces too masculine, and our bodies too unshapely. We are just too too.

So should we all hide in the closet because we don’t resemble the quintessential woman?

Just like my trans sisters, there are cisgender women who don’t resemble the quintessential woman. Nonetheless, we are all women and we try to make the best with what we have.

And by the way, the mirror does lie. I always look fab when I look at my femme self in the mirror; to see what I really look like, I take a selfie.

And so it goes.

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Kel Mitchell
Kel Mitchell femulating Oprah (“Okrah”) on television’s All That

Monday, August 24, 2020

Stephanie’s Favorite Photo

Stephanie’s Favorite Photo

Stana and Stephanie
Like you have mentioned, we girls love pictures. They capture a moment in time when everything comes together as we had hoped with our look, a dress, makeup, and sometimes a great experience.

I always dress to pass in public and have been doing so since 1979. The reason I picked the picture of me on the couch in the beige chiffon cocktail dress is simple for me. It is from a Connecticut Outreach Society Holiday Party In Avon (CT) around 1998 and you were also there, as pictured. It’s amazing but you still look the same after all these years.

I had arrived early and was sitting just outside the dining area for our private party when others started to arrive. Eventually, a couple had arrived and it was somewhat obvious that it was a wife with her crossdressed husband. She looked a little uneasy, but I was also impressed that she had made the effort to accompany her husband to support him. She scanned the waiting area and when her eyes met mine, a big grin crossed her face.

She said something to her husband and then left his side and headed toward me. She sat down beside me and introduced herself. I did the same staying in my character as Stephanie. She chatted that she was so nervous being here, but she wanted to support her husband. Then she said she was so happy that I was also here because she thought that she would be the only GG (genetic girl) at the party.

Then it hit me that all this time she thought I was also a GG. Before I could reveal myself she asked me which “gurl” was my husband. Well, I have to tell you I was incredibly flattered, but I also felt bad because I was going to have to let her know that she was still alone in that category unless another GG showed up. So I simply said in my lady voice, “I came alone.”

At first she looked at me as to say, “Why would you come alone?” And then the realization of what I had said hit her.

At first she was stunned and then she said, “I’m so sorry. I thought you were a real woman.”

I must have had the biggest smile ever when I replied, “What are you sorry about? You just gave me the best compliment ever.”

She put her hand on my leg and started to laugh. “I guess you’re right. You really do look lovely and that dress is perfect.”

I do think another wife came, but whenever there was a break in the festivities, she would come my way and simply do girl talk. It was a wonderful night and I wish I knew her now to say thank you for a great evening.”

Wearing Stuart Weitzman shoes
Wearing Stuart Weitzman shoes

Ryan Alessi
Ryan Alessi femulating on television’s All That (2019)
You can view Ryan’s femulation on YouTube.
Thank you, Colin, for the info about this femulation.

Saturday, August 22, 2020

Someday Funnies

Source: Rue La La
Wearing London Times

Jeff Kurysz, Nate Santana and Sean Blake
Jeff Kurysz, Nate Santana and Sean Blake femulating in the Chicago stage production of
The Legend of Georgia Brown McBride.

Thursday, August 20, 2020

We Wear Short Shorts

👠 👠 👠 I appreciate all who critiqued my recent wardrobe additions. And I was not offended by any of your candid solicited comments. Thank-you!

👠 👠 👠 Grocery shopping today, a middle-aged woman complimented the new top I was wearing.

👠 👠 👠 Loving the new underwear I am wearing. Unlike tidy-whities, wearing panties are a constant reminder that I am a lady even in boy mode.

👠 👠 👠 During a recent visit to Fictionmania, I got a kick out of Aunt Hildie's A Guide to the Proper Lady Lifestyle, tongue-in-cheek instructions on “how to be a proper lady.” I love the Guide’s line “while a male can never become a woman, he can become a lady.”

👠 👠 👠 A number of readers informed me that Payless shoe stores will return after shutting down last year. According to the Daily News, “The footwear company launched its website Tuesday, but brick-and-mortar stores will take a little longer... Over the next five years, Payless plans to open between 300 and 500 stores across the continent.”

👠 👠 👠 Long-time Femulate fan from France, Virginia, wanted to know what color is my hair. I told her and am telling you, too, in case you want to femulate moi! (LOL) Nutmeg-F is the color of all my blond wigs from Noriko.

Source: Rue La La
Wearing Estate Destinations

A ladies’ room in California circa 1960
A ladies’ room in California circa 1960

Wednesday, August 19, 2020


The daily pain-demic routine is getting to me. I almost look forward to my weekly grocery run!

Last week’s grocery run was special. The grocery store is hiring and when I arrived at the store Thursday morning, there was a line of people waiting to be interviewed. All the ladies in line were dressed appropriately – skirts, dresses, hosiery, heels, makeup, etc. I have not seen such a feminine display since the last time I dressed up and looked in the mirror!

Speaking of which... I have been dressing up to participate in a monthly Zoom board of directors meeting of my ham radio group. I am a director, secretary and the only attendee who presents as a lady. When I zoomed in last Friday afternoon, another director complimented me on how I looked.

I will have to consult with Miss Manners on this: Is it proper for a male to compliment how another male looks when he is presenting as a woman? Probably not, but I needed that and graciously thanked him for the compliment.

After the board meeting, I usually take some photos because I am already made-up, bewigged and have some new outfits to model, as was the case this past Friday. Three new dresses and a new pair of shoes arrived since the last board meeting – two dresses from Venus, one from Haband and a new pair of heels from Nine West. The Femulator photo below shows moi in one of the Venus dresses and the Nine West heels. My previous two posts show me in the Haband dress and other Venus dress.

I love the Nine West heels, but I have to break them in before I wear them out. Maybe all they need is Insolia inserts. I’ll try that before I wear them again.

The Venus cold shoulder shirt dress has two problems:

1. The surplice style V-neck plunges too low and reveals my bra. A safety pin or velcro will fix that easily.

2. The style of the dress may be too young for an old lady like me. I will wear it around the house, but am a little hesitant about wearing it out. (Comments?)

The Venus twofer trim detail dress is just my style. Figure-hugging and very classy – I can’t wait to wear it out.

The Haband layered-look rib-knit dress only cost $12.97. I have purchased Haband shorts, tops and sneakers in the past, but never a dress because I usually don’t find their dresses that attractive. However, this Haband offering caught my eye and will be perfect accessorized with boots when the cooler weather arrives.

That’s all, folks.

Source: Unique Vintage
Wearing Unique Vintage

Wearing Venus dress and Nine West heels
Wearing Venus dress and Nine West heels