Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Long Live "The Queen"

As a 17-year-old transvestite-in-training, The Queen blew my mind upon its release in 1968.

Here was a film about a womanless beauty pageant at a time when any information about crossdressing was very difficult to find, leaving girls like me who lived out in the boonies to wonder if we were all alone in the world. The Queen indicated otherwise.

Here is the link to Rolling Stone's story about restoration and re-release of this important documentary: The Link.

Source: Intermix
Wearing Jonathan Simkhai (Source: Intermix)

The Queen
Femulating in the 1968 documentary The Queen.

Monday, July 15, 2019

No End in Sight

I thank you for all the emails and comments regarding the end of this blog. They were eye-opening! I had no idea how much this blog meant to so many of you.

So I have decided not to end this blog. Rather, I will write posts on an occasional basis.

With that, I present a lovely poem sent to me by Susan.
Like a welcomed cup of coffee
she started my day
Power on, get on line and see
what Stana has to say
With a passion for fashion
and advice to relate,
she summed it up
with one word she invented: Femulate!
As a blog it was subtle,
no bravado, no alarms
It felt more like a family
We are sisters-in-arms
Now the run is over
All good things must end
Good luck and thank you
I hope I can call you a friend

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company.

Indiana's Tri-State College in 1911
Femulating at Indiana's Tri-State College in 1911. The girl on the left was voted most likely not to be a civilian. 

Saturday, July 6, 2019

The End

After 12-1/2 years, I have decided to put an end to this blog. I am tired of writing it, have nothing new to say and want to spend the time doing something else.

It has been an interesting trip. I grew a lot writing the blog and I believe I helped some of you readers to grow, too. And I invented a word, femulate.

My job is done. Goodbye and good luck.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Don't you want to be part of the experience?

When I'm feeling down, feeling a little guilty about my trans-ness, or feeling a little depressed, I think about the following words from Woody Allen's film Hannah and Her Sisters.

One day, a month ago, I really hit bottom. I just felt that in a godless universe I didn't want to go on living.

I happen to own this rifle, which I loaded and pressed to my forehead.
I thought, "I'm gonna kill myself."

Then I thought, "What if I'm wrong? What if there is a God? Nobody really knows."

Then I thought, "No. Maybe is not good enough. I want certainty or nothing."

I remember clearly, the clock was ticking and I was sitting there frozen debating whether to shoot. All of a sudden, the gun went off. I was so tense I inadvertently squeezed the trigger. But I was perspiring so much the gun slid off my forehead and missed me.

Suddenly, neighbors were pounding on the door and the whole scene was just pandemonium. I ran to the door. I didn't know what to say. I was embarrassed and confused.

My mind was racing a mile a minute. I just knew one thing: I had to get out of that house. I had to get out in the fresh air and clear my head. And I remember, I walked the streets. I didn't know what was going through my mind. It all seemed so violent and unreal to me.

I wandered on the Upper West Side. It must have been hours. My feet hurt, my head was pounding. I went into a movie. Didn't know what was playing. I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and be logical and put the world back into rational perspective.

I went up to the balcony and I sat down. The movie* was one I'd seen many times in my life since I was a kid, and I always loved it. I'm watching the screen and I started getting hooked on the film.

And I started to feel: "How can you think of killing yourself? Isn't it stupid? Look at all the people on-screen. They're funny, and what if the worst is true? There's no God, you only go around once, that's it. Don't you want to be part of the experience? It's not all a drag."

And I'm thinking, "I should stop ruining my life searching for answers and just enjoy it while it lasts."

And after, who knows? Maybe there is something.

I know "maybe" is a slim reed to hang your life on, but that's the best we have. And then I started to sit back and I actually began to enjoy myself.

* Duck Soup starring The Marx Brothers

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper.

Janek Traczyk femulates Lana Del Ray on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar).

Monday, July 1, 2019

Not in Hot Water

No hot water!

Electric water heater is only 3 years old, so I called the company that sold and installed the unit to report the problem.

Service guy shows up and believes that the bottom heating element in the hot water heater is not working and he will be back later to replace it. He also mentions that water is flowing out of the hot water heater. So?

A different service guy shows up with the replacement heating elements. Since they have to replace the lower element, they might as well replace the upper element while they are at it.

Service guy is unable to proceed because he does not have a socket wrench large enough to remove the heating element and he will be back later with a larger socket wrench. He also mentions that water is flowing out of the hot water heater. So?

A third service guy shows up with the largest socket wrench and replaces the heating elements. One element has some calcium deposits on it, but otherwise the old elements tested out OK with his ohmmeter!  He also mentions that water is flowing out of the hot water heater. So?

Still no hot water, so I call again and the head service guy said he would send a service guy out to replace the thermostats in the water heater.

A fourth service guy shows up and immediately notices that water is flowing out of the hot water heater, which indicates there is a leak. The hot water heater is fine, but just can't keep up with the water flowing out and thus, the lack of hot water throughout the house.

As a result, the hot water heater is constantly running, which causes the water pump to constantly run in order to provide cold water to the hot water heater. Which results in an electric bill that is three times the normal monthly electric bill! (I had been going round and round for two months trying to figure out why my electric bill had tripled and now I finally had a solution.)

The service guy determines that the leak is in the hot water line to the kitchen sink. The line runs under the house, which is built on a slab. After 30 years, the house's settling probably broke the pipe. After considering all the options, he plans to run a new hot water line through the ceiling to the kitchen sink.

I await his arrival Monday morning as I type this.

Needless to say, all my femulating the past few days has been in my head.

Janek Traczyk femulates Anna Wyszkoni on Polish television's Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo (Your Face Sounds Familiar).