Monday, November 7, 2022

Gutsy List

Trying to come up with the most unusual thing I have ever done en femme, I revisited my bucket list to see what stood out. I discounted closeted trans items on the list, like “Go to a support group meeting.” Although they are accomplishments, there are safety nets involved and not much interaction, if any, with civilians. 

Perusing the remainder of my bucket list, I selected the items that the average person would consider to be “gutsy” (or “nutsy”):

  • Attend a school reunion
  • Drive cross-country
  • Go to a non-transgender convention
  • Live full-time for an extended period of time 
  • Public speaking
Attending my law school reunion was a big deal, but previously doing the other items on my short list prepared me for attending the reunion. (And I still regret not attending my high school reunion en femme. The good news is that there is talk of another high school reunion in 2024, so I may have another opportunity to attend en femme.) 

Going to a non-transgender convention (Hamvention) involved the other items on the short list. 

Driving cross-country (750 miles) to and from Hamvention involved interacting with a lot of civilians (for example, stopping to purchase gasoline and food, checking in and out of hotels, using public ladies’ restrooms, etc.). 

Intermingling with 30,000 civilians (ham radio operators) over a long weekend at the convention, some who knew me as a “legendary” male ham radio author, was a little daunting initially, but became comfortable over time. Along with the cross-country drive, I checked off the “Live full-time for an extended period of time” item on my short list.  

Public speaking at the ham convention’s forums to audiences of civilian hams (numbering 400 to 500) was probably the most gutsy thing I ever did. It took eight previous convention visits en femme before I felt comfortable enough to do it. Now I would do it at the drop of a hat. That’s progress!

Source: Bebe
Wearing Bebe

Shemp Howard, Moe Howard and Larry Fine
Shemp Howard, Moe Howard and Larry Fine (The Three Stooges) femulating in the 1950 short Self Made Maids. Although this is typical Three Stooges fare filled with slapstick comedy, the boys played it straight when presenting as females. Their voices were convincing and I loved their circa 1950 outfits. You can view this femulation on YouTube


  1. Self Made Maids start view count 5,616 before US Girls....where will it climb tooooooo ?

    Sara Blevins

  2. Mo was the least femme of the Stooges in my opinion; from my boyhood watching days. Larry was probably the best.
    PS. Anything on after school tv that involved a femulation was a super bonus day. indeed.
    Hey Mo, hey Mo; yuk yuk yuk yuk...................
    Angel Amore

  3. Here's an addition for you: go on a cruise! I just did, a couple weeks ago. It was an unforgettable experience! (Might also check off your "bikini" item, poolside on the ship!)

  4. Growing up I was (well, still AM) a big fan of The Stooges. The first time I saw SELF MADE MAIDS it floored me! Very straight forward femulations, rather convincing, and GORGEOUS outfits!
    RE: Bucket List. I am crossing off one of my BIG items soon. I recently shared Julie with a male friend (first time I ever did THAT!) and he wants to take her to lunch on Sunday. Coming Out to him was a big decision, and the next big decision is - - - what am I going to wear? (giggle)

  5. Femulate and your gutsy outings inspired me to be a better woman and get out there and experience so much. I was able to live at least part of my dreams. Paula G

  6. My gutsy list:
    Wearing dresses out in public, including shopping, visiting a rehab center, and doctor appointments.
    Going to local all-male.ham meetings wearing.a dress.
    Going to church functions.wearing a dress.
    On Sunday morning wearing a dress along with makeup and heels.

  7. Leslie LangfordNovember 07, 2022

    It has been accepted as a truism by some that the fundamental difference between men and women is that men love the Three Stooges, whereas women think that they are idiots. I guess that as crossdressers, that puts us somewhere on the fence on this particular issue - LOL!

  8. Today, November 7 2022, I went to work in a dress! We are supposed to have a group photo taken of our department for our Christmas card. After I'd worn a dress LAST Monday, for our sacred day... Halloween... one of the women didn't want a photo done last Thursday because she wasn't dressed to her satisfaction and we all agreed on today; another woman said we need to "dress pretty" explicitly mentioning my red dress from Dress Barn circa 2018.
    I thought about this all weekend, got everything ready last night, I didn't sleep very well.. got in the shower 10 minutes earlier than usual and removed the excess hair. I knew that I was really doing it when I was slipping the nylons on and then my sandals. There was no going back! Slipped on the red floral dress, straightened my lovely red wig and got my things together to head out to the office.

    My direct supervisor said she's been waiting for me to do this for years.

    My advice is, "go out and complete gutsy your list!"


    1. Wow! That is gutsy. Congratulations, Heather. Inquiring minds want to know if Heather will be going to work more often?

    2. Any time I see 'The Three Stooges'- in drag or otherwise- I reach for 'the air sick bag'.

    3. Yes, Stana! I have a very strong suspicion that Heather is going to the office much more often. At the end of my shift, my direct supervisor (Ms H) pulled me aside to talk about my day. She was very supportive, told me that if anyone gives me crap... let her know. She was glad that I had the courage to take this step and it thrilled her to see me so happy. I've been slowly breaking down my barriers to happiness. This was massive. She also told me that if things need to be changed: name, pronouns, data on my employee sheet.. she'll take care of it for me. Holy crap! I wasn't prepared for this. Amazing. Wonderful. Joyous.
      I owe a debt of gratitude to Stana and her readers. This is a community where we all have experienced a similar struggle. Our younger sisters have the benefit of being more comfortable in many circumstances. I'm very glad that younger folks are more accepting of self expression.
      I'm 57. I worry about everything! I fear the cretins. I don't want to be harmed for the simple act of wearing clothes that another person doesn't feel I should be wearing. I recall the homophobic talk among my schoolmates. Words we don't ever use in polite company were tossed at everyone who was not part of the in crowd or a jock or popular. in 2022. It is even hard for me to hear the word "queer" without feeling a sense of pain. That and using gay as a slur or the "F" word would be molded into the surname of the non jock/non stoner/non popular or heaven forbid a band member! I checked all those boxes!

      I remember the shame I'd felt the first few times I tried on clothing that belonged to my mom or sister. I remember thinking about how there must be something messed up in my head when I felt good trying on nylons or a bra stuffed with a couple pair of socks. This experience was 40+ years ago. What would the people at school think? What about the neighbors?Today my opinion is "who cares what they think!?!"

      The high I felt last Monday, Halloween, wearing a flattering dress was beyond words. My co-workers said I was glowing. They said that I need to dress however I feel happy. I did and I do! Then came the work whole photo thing and my decision to make it happen. Yes, the photo looks great!
      After our chat, I told Ms. H that I wasn't sure who was going to show up tomorrow. She said to be comfortable, do what's right for you. We'll see what tomorrow brings.


      I guess this means I’m out at work!!

  9. Stana, the presentation at Dayton gives your true femininity away and shows your inner self is very much natural. You dont learn that