Monday, June 4, 2012

My Law School Reunion

Ready to Go to the Hall of Fame

My law school reunion experience was just fabulous, as I wrote in my last short blog post.

For those of you out of the loop, on Saturday evening, I attended my law school reunion at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA.

Getting ready yesterday afternoon, I cut myself badly using a new blade in my razor. It was a deep cut just under my left nostril and it took forever to stop bleeding. As a result, it took me longer to do my makeup, initially working around the cut, then waiting for the bleeding to stop when I could go no further by working around it. Luckily, I started doing my makeup early enough so that any technical difficulties would not affect my arrival time at the Hall of Fame.

I was dressed and out the door (after snapping a few photos) at 4:45 PM to make the 50-mile trip by 6 PM when the cocktail hour began. On the way, the traffic message boards on the interstate informed me that the exit I had to take to switch from I-84 to I-91 was closed and it recommended a detour via another highway. I thought about driving to an exit before the closed exit and trying to work my way to an I-91 entrance, but I was familiar with the recommended detour and figured I would only lose 10 minutes, whereas who knew how much time Plan A would cost me. So I took the detour and lost about 20 minutes instead of 10.

The rest of the trip was smooth-sailing and I arrived at the Hall of Fame at 5:55 PM --- perfect timing!

I entered the Hall of Fame complex and quickly found the site of the reunion. I was in error in that I thought that the reunion would be held in the Center Court banquet hall. Instead, it took place in a smaller banquet hall in the complex. It was not as spectacular as I pictured the Center Court, but it was very nice nonetheless.

I checked in and immediately encountered the woman who I had exchanged a few e-mails with concerning the reunion. I introduced myself; she welcomed me and helped me find my name badge.

There were about 20 people already in attendance. I recognized one of my classmates, CR, a woman who I considered a school acquaintance, not a long lost friend. I said hello to her and she returned a hello, while looking at my name badge trying to figure out who I was (the badge listed Stana, my real last name, and my class year, 1977).

She was carrying a copy of our class yearbook, so I suggested she look me up in the yearbook to refresh her memory. She did and when she put two-and-two together, she exclaimed, "Oh my god! Stanley, you are beautiful now!"

She gushed over how I had changed and then we chatted a bit trying to catch up on the past 35 years in five minutes. CR was distracted by another person, who I did not recognize, so I went to the bar and got a glass of white wine.

My Classmates and I

I mingled with myself for about five minutes, then CR came around again and pointed me the direction of a table where other 1977 classmates were gathering, so I headed in that direction. There I found two other female school acquaintances (PM and LF) and one of my best friends (JB) and his wife.

An aside, as it turned out, there were nine people in my class who made it to the reunion. Four women and five men. All the women came solo and all five men came with their wives. I believe that the three other women are unattached.

Both PM and LF welcomed me with open arms as if we were old girlfriends and not just acquaintances (I think CR had informed them of my presence before I found their table, so they were expecting me). I did not recognize JB immediately, but when I realized it was my old friend, I greeted him warmly and gave him a hug. His wife, EB, introduced herself and she was very welcoming, too. We all exchanged our stories about the last 35 years, but the women were more interested in hearing my story than relating theirs to me. So as not to disappoint, I obliged and held an impromptu outreach session.

Another friend, MM, showed up and he greeted me like the old friends we were.

The cocktail hour flew by and before I knew it, PM was beckoning me to join her at the 1977 table in the dining room. I sat down next to PM and we chatted forever, mostly about me. She assumed that I was a post-op TS and I explained that I was not. Actually, everyone I talked to about being transgender assumed I was post-op and I explained to all of them that I was not.

PM said that I was undoubtedly a woman and that I was more of a woman than she was! She said she never felt like a "woman" and was not sure what it meant to feel like a woman. I basically said we are what we are, but society pigeonholes us as "men" or "women" according to their "standards."

After dinner, which by the way, was excellent, I had a long discussion with EB about being transgender. EB is in the entertainment industry in the City and as a result, she is familiar with  transgenders and knows where I am coming from more or less.

I mentioned to her that her husband, JB, was the person who told me at the law school Halloween party 36 years ago, that he never realized how feminine I was until he saw me in my costume en femme and realized that it was such a good fit for me and my personality, mannerisms, etc.

MM sat down next to me to chat a bit and said that I was very brave to do what I did. And I replied with my standard comeback to the bravery comment, that is, I don't consider it brave to be yourself… to be what who you are. But he said I was too modest and that if he was in the same situation, he doubted if he could do what I did.

Maybe, maybe not, but it was very nice of MM to say what he did. In fact, I received nothing but support and positive words from all my classmates.

I did not mix much with the other attendees; there was not much time to do so. But early on, one woman from the class of 2006 introduced herself and we had a short chat about what we had in common, that is, the mispronunciation of our first names. Her name is Zoe and people call her Zo or Zo-ee.  About half the people pronounced my name correctly (rhymes with Donna) and the other half got it wrong, but I didn't mind.

The only other non-classmate I recall speaking with was a professor who dined at our table and sat right next to me. He began teaching at the school the year after I graduated, so he did not know me from the school, but I asked him about what happened to some of the people I worked with way back when (I worked in the library while attending law school) and he tried to fill me in on what he remembered (not much as it turned out).

The evening ended much too quickly and I was on my way home at 10:30 PM. 

I had a wonderful time to put it mildly!


  1. I read this story and when I read the word brave (and your are) My tears flowed and stiil are as I type.
    Thanks for all you do

  2. Stana

    I want to thank you for taking the time to share the event. I felt like I was there with you. It is amazing to see how far the public's perception of trans people has come in the last few years. I believe I noticed a sea change shortly after Chaz Bono's appearance on DWTSs.

    It was interesting to see that many of your classmate had an interest in learning about trans people. I found that also, especially woman, fascinated by our transitions. I sometimes get the impression that they are flattered by us wanting to be women. Especially if act in respect and reverence for the feminine gender. Which Ms. Stana you do. Oh and BTW Killer legs!


  3. Nice! You must be so proud!

  4. Dear Stana,

    I am thrilled to hear how well your law school reunion went. And no wonder they accepted ou so readily. You looked beautiful! Love your dress!



  5. Stana,
    All I can say is that you look great and that you not only look like you belong in the picture, the others surely appear very at ease having you there. It looks to me that they believe that the male/female ratio of the graduates from the class of 1977 should have +1 female and -1 male. Congratulations!

  6. Truth to tell, I'm surprised, but pleased, you find such acceptance. Aren't "older" generations supposed to be more socially "rigid"?

    I'm glad things went so well for you.

    And thanks for the additional photos. You are beautiful.


  7. I'm so very pleased to learn how well it went! Kudos to you, Stana! I absolutely love your standard comeback to the bravery comments, may I use it, too?

  8. AnonymousJune 05, 2012

    I second everything that's been said, and add you look absolutely beautiful, and the story is so inspirational. Thanks so much for posting it. You are brave!

  9. So nice to hear you had a great time and was received so well. You must be doing something really right to go through life one success after another.
    Enfemme that is. I agree that other women seem to be amazed at us and all seem content to be around us as no sexual tension exists. Also Paula pointed out that its flattering and respectful to the feminine, well said Paula. Even out enhomme females sense a sisterly respect and seem at ease. Nice vibes for sure. Congratulations on a good job leading the way into the future.