Friday, January 15, 2021

My Bests

I started this series of passing success stories almost a month ago with Passing is not important, but.... In that post, I wrote, “passing is not important, but it sure feels good when you do!” and I asked you to send me your best passing success stories.

Now that I have posted all your stories, I will conclude with my two best passing success stories.

Tall Girls' Day Out

One of my best femulating moments was when I was browsing the racks at the local Nordstrom and a saleswoman nearby spoke up, “You’re tall. I’m tall, too. How tall are you?”

I said, “Six foot two.”

She replied, “I'm six foot one.”

And she engaged me in a discussion about being a tall female. She asked me how I liked being tall when I was a girl. (“I loved it.”) She admitted that she had some difficulties during her school years because of her height, but as an adult, she was happy with her height.

After we exchanged a few more words, I excused myself and walked on air for the rest of my day at the mall.

I used to worry that I could never pass because of my height. That day at the mall convinced me otherwise.

A Born Woman

Ten years ago, after doing outreach at a Human Sexuality class at Southern Connecticut State University, a female student approached me. 

She said that when I entered the class, she thought I was a woman, not a trans woman, but “a born woman.”

Thank you, I thought to myself. But then she added that besides thinking I was a born woman, I was also the most beautiful older adult woman that she had ever seen in person!

I thanked her profusely as she examined my presentation real up close now. She thought I was about 45 years old and she was very surprised when I revealed that I was 60.

Then she told me something very personal that I will not repeat here. I thought I detected her eyes beginning to well up.

The encounter became so emotional for me that I cannot remember if I gave her hug or not. (If I didn’t, I should have.)

Those few minutes with her were priceless to me and I will remember her forever.

Wearing Ricki VanDusen. Note the limp wrist.
Wearing Ricki VanDusen. Note the limp wrist.
Thank you Paula for finding this image.

Alec Guinness femulating in the 1949 British film Kind Hearts and Coronets.
Alec Guinness femulating in the 1949 British film Kind Hearts and Coronets.


  1. Love your passing stories Stana, they each have a special resonance, and to your previous point, passing is not important but it sure feels good when you do.

    You do have a female presence, I've watched your videos at Hamvention and you move, and body language as a cisgender woman. Plus you're cute as heck.

    1. You are too kind, Paula. Thank-you!

  2. Stana , Do you have tips on fat and sugar gram intake and exercise on keeping your great shape ? we all want to pass .

    1. Thank you for the question. I will answer it in a new post later this week.

    2. Great , thank you !

  3. Stana , I loved your story "A Born Woman ", wonderful !