Monday, February 11, 2019

Susan: Out, However Briefly

Susan e-mailed me about her recent jaunt in Los Angeles – her first as a woman. Here is her story.

Not Susan
Last night, I went out among civilians, as you say, for the first time. I'm writing to tell you about it because you were my inspiration for making the move.

So with a professional manicure and a beautiful new boiled wool coat (an absolute steal of a Elie Tahari) to deal with a slight cold snap here in Los Angeles, I set out for a makeover at standalone MAC store some distance from my home.

Given the nature of my neighborhood, I had to leave in mostly covered up guy mode (essentially sans wig) and do some quick change in the dark side of the parking lot. Some jewelry, a bit of lipstick and off to the store. I was amazed at how clandestine I was throughout. I was not happy with the state of my hair which is so important in a presentation. I don't want to have to keep sneaking about changing and applying makeup in parking lots.

As I was driving along at 60 miles an hour, I was sure everyone passing by was noticing my painted nails – how silly!

I had great luck parking right in front of the store. The makeup artist was sweet and professional. She did what I asked – natural, light, age-appropriate. I was not overwhelmed, but it was all that I asked for. I would have preferred pinker lips, but I was so nervous I just wanted to get out of there.

I decided to stop by a women's store on the way home – a place I have visited in guy mode. The saleswomen have always been so helpful and sweet and I just wanted to interact with them en femme.

One recognized me pretty quickly and she was so nice. She loved my coat and said I looked so pretty. I browsed for a very short time. We took each other's hand, said goodbye and off I went into the brrr (LA brrr that is), but so warm in all respects in my new coat. It was dark enough that I drove through my neighborhood right into my garage en femme.

I surprised myself by not taking any pictures to commemorate the event. Surprised too that I was nonplussed by my image. I was just Susan. I was extremely tired – more from the planning, anticipation, etc. So I took off the makeup and relaxed. Glowing, but recognizing that it's hard to live in the dark as I do. I wonder how long I can go without coming out to my spouse. We'll see, as they say.

My point in writing to you is to again acknowledge and thank you for being the inspiration for the event. Thank you, Stana.

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Rick Hammerly,  Zack Powell and Dezi Bing
Rick Hammerly,  Zack Powell and Dezi Bing femulating in a stage production of The Legend of Georgia McBride.


  1. Dear Susan,
    I am so happy you had a positive experience. (Thank you Stana)
    I must say, as a married crossdresser, honesty in your relationship is of UTMOST importance. Consider telling your wife as soon as possible. Not only because it's the honest thing to do, but also because after your recent experience you'll want to do more, and it will get harder and harder to keep it all secret.
    As my I Know What I'm Talking About references, my wife has gone from "knowing and participating" since before we were married, through "you've got to stop", into "I know you are, I just don't want to participate" and back to "knowing and participating".
    My best to you, whatever you decide, Sweetie.

  2. I saw "The Legend of Georgia McBride" at Roundhouse Theater in the Washington, DC area last year. It's a fun story about a performer in a club that's changing its' shows to Drag performances. He needs to either change jobs or adapt. He adapts. The story lets us know if this works for him and how his spouse feels about the change. Partial spoiler alert -- I left the theater wearing a big smile! Don't miss the play if it's in your area!

  3. Dear Susan, Congrats on your first venture out 'enfemme'. The first time is the toughest.... Velma