Tuesday, December 1, 2015

What's Right for Her

By Tami

Today, our new regular contributor, Tami, writes about what is right for her and she hopes some readers will relate to her views.

I know women who work in retail or in restaurants. They see other trans gals from time to time. Consistently they tell me how pleasant their interaction is with those that look great and act like they look  great. They also say how difficult and uncomfortable the interaction can be with a trans gal that isn't comfortable, isn't blending in, and projects it. One woman told me how hard she tried to make this person feel comfortable in her store, but couldn't do so. Maybe in time.

For me...

  • It's not about getting dressed; it is the reward of being well put together.
  • It's not about getting overly dolled up; it is knowing I will blend with others perfectly and with style.
  • It's not about copying another’s look; it is developing my own signature look.
  • It's not about always color or always black; it is about knowing when to wear both.
  • It's not about the legs; it is about an elegant hem line and its movement.
  • It's not about hosiery (that’s over); but it can be about tights.
  • It's not about heels that launch me over the others; it’s just not.
  • It's not about dramatic makeup; it is that others expect me to look naturally pretty.
  • It's not about the jewelry; it is about what makes me sparkle.
  • It's not about a large breast or booty; it is about proportion and décolletage.
  • It's not about really long hair; it is about age appropriate up-to-date hairstyles.
  • It’s not about attracting attention; it is about getting an approving compliment or look!
  • It’s not about standing out; it is about being invited to join in. (So fun!)
To paraphrase Margaret Thatcher, “If you have to remind people that you are a lady, you likely are not.”

Wearing Ann Taylor

Cecil Beaton
Cecil Beaton


  1. A very nice article but not everybody can be a completely passable woman. I DO believe that many TG's make more problems for themselves than is necessary. Skirts to short, dresses to tight, heels to high etc... I personaly will spend the coming months on my make up.

  2. What an interesting post " What's right for her". I couldn't agree less, well almost. What's right for her, for a woman nowadays, is wear what you want. Feminism has spawned a culture where women can wear the most provocative, revealing and outrageous clothes and conversely, a hijab and veil, supposed with inviting comment. I wear what I want (stylish classic styles, what people call "retro", to suit my frame and colouring and inclination). If I dressed like ordinary women I would look awful. Being a tranny is not just dressing as a woman, it is an opperchanchity to express oneself, making up for lost time and the freedom denied to boys and men. Acceptability does concern me (I wear fur often) and fully fashioned stockings always, which attracts attention. What one requires is courage, the courage to be yourself.

  3. Carolyn, I read it as "What's right for *her*" as in, what is right for your feminine persona, not a "Do this if you want to pass" article. In fact, passing is overrated. Being comfortable enough with yourself is the important thing. If you project "the spooky vibe" by constantly being on the defensive, not making eye contact, etc. others will pick up on this easily.

    As the Tami said, don't emulate other women - emulate *you* and you only. There is only one you. Make her an awesome one.

  4. What I take out of this is the advise to be comfortable with yourself, and then through that be comfortable with others. It's not so much about the clothing choices as the attitude that they both reflect, and help to create.