Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Is My Slip Showing?

What I Did On My Holiday Vacation ― Part 2


Most or perhaps, all of my wife’s relatives know about my crossdressing, talk about it amongst themselves, but never say a word to me about it. They have actually used it against me in some family matters, but when confronted why a particular decision was made, they give another reason that makes no sense, but covers their transphobia.

Most of those transphobes are dead now, but when they were all still alive, I always wanted to attend one of their family functions en femme, but I never did it in deference to my wife.

Anyway, my wife’s cousin, Wendi, organized a Christmas party for my wife’s surviving relatives. We attended and small gifts were exchanged among the small group of survivors. Not being blood, I did not expect a gift, but Wendi gave me a gift. Unwrapping the gift revealed four pairs of socks, but not your typical boring manly socks. Instead, they were multicolor patterned  socks.

Wendi asked if I liked the socks and when I said that I did, she remarked, “I thought you would like them because you were always different than the other guys."

Thank you, Wendi!

I have one sibling, a sister about 18 months younger than I. We have always been close, as close as siblings can be.

Since we were so close, I always felt that she knew all about me. However, she never mentioned my trans being; it was the proverbial elephant in the room.

I discussed this with my wife and we agreed that I should come out to my sister and undo the elephant, which I did one Sunday after dinner about 15 years ago. It did not go well.

My sister is very open-minded and includes gays among her closest friends, but she did not accept a trans brother ― too close to home I guess ― and after coming out, we never broached the subject again. (Although I do believe that her and my wife discuss the matter between themselves.

Since then, she occasionally would ask me what my plans were for the day or evening and if my plans were trans-related, I did not lie. I would tell her I was doing something girly and she would say, "OK," and would drop the subject.

As luck would have it, she asked me if I would be home on the evening of the Avon representative Christmas party because she wanted to stop by to pick up some Christmas gifts she had shipped to my house. I told her I had girly plans, so she said she would stop by another time.

When my sister learned that I had to leave the Christmas party almost immediately after arriving because of a family health issue, she e-mailed the following, "She got dressed up and went all the way for nothing?  Bummer. I'm sorry."

Although she referred to me in the third person, my sister called me "she."

Source: Nine West
Wearing Nine West.


Actor Bert Wheeler (right) in the 1931 film Peach-O-Reno (aka Peach O’Reno).


  1. In addition to our dressing proclivities you and I are in the same club about being over 60 and happily married. Finding acceptance and tolerance of our T selves is a slow and time consuming proposition...at least it has been for me. Slowly my wife is getting over the 'not my husband' syndrome but the potential that my 'secret' will be found out by family and/or friends still genuinely rattles her.


    1. Hi Pat,

      My wife thinks I should come out to everybody!


    2. I am in the opposite camp. My wife knows all about Julie, used to participate, but now would rather I just keep it to myself. I have been toying with coming out to a mutual girl friend who is very open minded, but I don't know how that would affect my wife.

  2. I've been in the "they know but won't say anything" situation with my wife's relatives for about 14 years, except for one who was quietly reading my blog. A couple of years ago, she made a remark about my Halloween plans, which she could only have known from reading my blog. When asked, she acknowledged that she does indeed read my blog. She now talks to me openly about it, and admonishes me if I don't post often enough! :-)

    It's quite funny, though, that with long hair, pierced ears since about 2001, a distinct lack of facial and body hair, long painted acrylic nails all the time for 4 years (yes, even in boy mode), and now a femme selfie as my Facebook boy profile photo, nothing is said to me by any of my wife's other relatives.

    The more religious ones have long since unfriended me on Facebook, won't talk to me at family events, and will even boycott some family events if I'm going to be present. :-(

    1. Religion has not reared its ugly head yet, but we did lose one friend because her culture does not abide crossdressing.