Monday, December 15, 2014

17 Days

My South African girlfriend Dianne Vernon, who I first met at Fantasia Fair in 2010, was at the Fair this year, too. We recently exchanged some e-mails about the Fair, about our lives as women and about her consecutive 17 days en femme. Dianne kindly agreed to let me excerpt her e-mails; I think you will find them interesting.

Despite the weather, I still had a good Fantasia Fair and more so, that I actually managed to be en femme a full 17 days, which was absolutely fabulous!. I went en femme the Friday morning before Fantasia Fair and the weekend in Atlanta was already a blast. The flight to Boston on Monday was also uneventful, but fun as all was done en femme and by the time I was in P-Town, the bad weather could not even do too much to spoil the awesome adventure.

From there I drove to Newport on Sunday and went on some of the mansions tours there and eventually ended in New London, where I then took the ferry to Orient Point the next day and spent one night in Montauk.

From there it was to NY and NJ and although I did not think or plan it before time, I actually ended up flying out to LA still en femme the following Friday! It was a first for me yet again to be on a 6+ hour flight as Dianne, but it was also wonderful and all ended up well.

I spent the weekend in LA and then drove to Vegas on Tuesday. Unfortunately I had to go drab on Wednesday and Thursday, but it all ended up just shy of three weeks and it was the best three weeks ever!

Not sure if you have experienced the same, but since I got to a point where I am totally comfortable in any situation and place as Dianne, it became so much more fun and so much more relaxing, plus the added benefit is that one passes so much better that it's almost surreal!

There is almost this newfound freedom that adds an amazing new dimension to it all and I really felt like I can do this full-time any day and for me, if the obstacles of work and wife would be OK with it, I will be full-time in a heartbeat!

Not sure about you, but for me there are both this new dimension in my "femulation" where I am so totally comfortable and relaxed out in public en femme to an extent I never imagined before, but also a scary side to it.

Not too long ago, I was always still careful where I go and at what times and would still have sometimes chickened out if I get to a place that was too busy, etc, but in the last three years that has all changed so much. I am these days totally relaxed and not scared to walk into any place or situation as a women would. The peace and relaxation has replaced the edginess and excitement.

On the other side is the fear that comes with this new dimension too, where I actually have seen and can see myself living as a woman 24/7 knowing how much there would be to sacrifice for that and the one side saying its not worth it, and the other saying it is.

I was really amazed how totally comfortable I was in this 17 days even handling a long day of travel, crowded places and situations with more or the same ease I would have done it in drab!

Checking in for the flight to LA in NY, I was almost shocked that I was so relaxed, and after I went through security, I walked around the new terminal and had lunch there. As I was sitting at the gate, Cosette called me and where I would have never had the confidence to chat on the phone in a crowded place en femme before, I was having a nice chat with her this time, enjoying it and totally amazed at how I was just one of the girls there having a conversation and 100% comfortable in such a crowded environment in any situation.

Another amazing thing I have also experienced is that I was totally comfortable speaking to anyone and having a conversation, compared with the past where one tried to minimize it out of fear of being read. In the car rental shuttle in Boston, I was sitting across from two women in their 60’s who were frantically talking and worried if they are on the right bus, so I engaged in conversation, firstly telling them they are ob the right bus and from there we chatted even more, and it was amazing how i was just accepted as a GG and all because I acted totally like one.

Although I have stayed over in hotels many times en femme  it was still an amazing experience to check into a hotel fully en femme as Dianne and notice to see how the staff and everybody there accepted me fully as a GG all the time.

In the past, I would have still timed it to have breakfast, for instance, after the rush or busiest time and now I do not care walking into a busy breakfast area, having my breakfast at leisure and even chat to anybody sitting close by!

Isn't that a wonderful story! And it is something we can all femulate to one degree or another. As they say, "Try it, you'll like it!"

Source: MyHabit

Wearing Kier & J (dress), Wolfie (jacket) and Mitchie's Matchings (scarf and earmuff).

Actor Ben Porter femulating in the 2004 British film School of Seduction.

A few words about the film School of Seduction

It is an entertaining film and I enjoyed it despite the British accent barrier.

Here is the storyline from IMDB: “When gorgeous Italian temptress Sophia Rosselini's School for Seduction arrives in Newcastle, four friends-each hoping to release their inner sex goddess-sign up for an education in the 'seductive arts.' Taking their cue from sultry Sophia, the newly confident women unleash themselves upon their unsuspecting partners with lustful abandon.”

The film can probably be classified as a chick flick comedy, but it’s treatment of the crossdressing subplot was not the target of comedy. The cisgender females treated the crossdresser as one of the girls, not a man in a dress, which was refreshing.

And in addition to the crossdressing subplot, femulators might pick up a few tips on how to better present as a woman. I know I did. 


  1. Hi Stana,

    Like you and Dianne I have found that I no longer have any barriers as Joanna and feel completely comfortable as a woman no matter where I go. That has given me tremendous freedom and flexibility and not have to fret about timing and where I can and cannot go. It can be tempting to stretch the limits and want to do it more and more but I am content with my daily outings and the joy that they bring!

    All the best,

    1. That is wonderful situation to be in! All the best to you, too, Joanna!

  2. Dianne is correct, of course. There is an enormous cost to context switching, to turning on and off that gender policing voice in your head that keeps you only doing what you believe would be seen as appropriate for a man. Once you turn that voice on to pass as a guy, turning it off is not a quick switch, and conversely, the woman choices aren't as smooth and practised when you move into that mode.

    In her experience, though, she didn't really have to engage deeply with others or even engage with other people who knew her in her other life. As a traveller, everything was new and transient, without much weight on any given interaction. There is a reason why the old transsexual model was leaving home, living as a woman in a new place for a year or two, and then maybe coming back once you own a whole life, including work and longer lasting relationships.

    Dianne does remind us that the gender policeman lives in our heads, not in the world, which is becoming more and more "So what?" about transgender expression, a luxury that we have difficulty integrating into our old training and fear.

    Change is possible, but becoming new is always more challenging where we are already anchored than where we are sailing through.

  3. Wow, I'm very impressed with you account and observations Dianne. I'm close but not quite where you're at. To go 17 days, fly and do all the things you did, takes a lot more interaction than Unknown is giving you credit for. I've never flown enfemme and doubt I will ever will, and although I've stayed at numerous hotels and interacted with staff and am comfortable sitting at a bar and even getting chatted up by guys, after awhile I get the feeling my "cup runneth over" and I need to retreat. Your confidence level is indeed impressive. I hope you enjoyed Montauk, I have a friend there who is a well-known chef at a restaurant frequented by Kelly Ripa and the upper crust of the Hamptons. Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to meet you at Fantasia Fair sometime. Thanks for providing us your insights!

    Best Wishes

  4. Thanks for the recommendation about the film. I watched it last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Coming from Newcastle, the accents were not a barrier at all - even though, only about half the characters were actually from here! (That's okay though, because I adore Dervla Kirwan and will pretty much watch anything she's in.)

    One slight problem I had with the trans character was that he kept taking his wig off. It felt like he was saying 'Okay, I've done my girl thing. But now that things are being serious, I need to be a man...'


    1. My take was that he was not trans, but rather a professional femulator who wanted to perfect his skills by taking the course. Of course, I could be wrong and missed something due to the accent barrier! LOL

  5. You're probably right, bit it just niggled at me. I think even for a professional keeping the feminine persona going in public would be as important as it would be for someone trans. And why exactly is his first instinct to whip the wig off whenever there's something important happening?
    But, as I said, it was a little niggle in an otherwise enjoyable film. Can I suggest that next time you watch, you put the subtitles on. After all, it is a foreign language!