Saturday, October 5, 2013

Things are different now

By Paula Gaikowski

Paula-2013-10-05

I go into Boston every few months to meet with my therapist and discuss my ongoing life as a transgender woman. I wrote about these visits in a previous Femulate.

Whenever possible I like to go en femme. Having an 11 AM appointment this Friday gave me the perfect window of opportunity to “slip” (pun intended) out of the house. I had a nice printed skirt and black jacket picked out. I made my way into Boston on the Mass Pike past Fenway Park and the Prudential Center and then downtown to BU Medical Center.

I arrived 90 minutes early and strolled around the busy urban campus stopping to buy a bottle of water. Running a gauntlet of construction workers on coffee break, I waltzed in, picked out a bottle of Poland Spring and was served with a smile by the clerk and nary a raised eyebrow from the burly crew of intimidating hard hats.

With my confidence bolstered, I was off and on my way. It was a good feeling to be bustling along the streets of Boston dressed as a professional woman and  I let myself get lost in the daydream of being just like them someday.

Once I arrived to the doctor's office, I used the ladies room, fixed my makeup and hair, then went out to the lobby where it was bright and sunny. I saw a woman about my age sitting there so I figured what the heck, I need to start interacting with people as a woman. I sat down and commented on the traffic to start a conversation. What followed was about a 20-minute conversation about the fall colors, vacations on the Cape verses New Hampshire and Maine, her niece's wedding and concerns for the friend that she was waiting for.

Ordinary and common place would be good words to describe the conversation. But to me it was phenomenal. I was accepted by another as a woman. It was one of the most validating and powerful incidents I’ve experienced en femme to date. So much so that I was off balance emotionally the rest of the day. Last night, I couldn’t sleep and woke up at 3 AM.

I told my therapist about it and we discussed many other things that morning, but this friendly encounter still has me lost in thought and emotions on a beautiful Saturday morning in New England. Something happened, something changed; I don’t know what, but things are different now.

 

Femulator

Source: Imgur

Shopping at Nordstrom’s.

 

Femulate_Her_web

Source: ShopBop

Wearing Diane von F├╝rstenberg.

4 comments:

  1. The ordinary is so extraordinary

    ReplyDelete
  2. "It was one of the most validating and powerful incidents I’ve experienced en femme to date. So much so that I was off balance emotionally the rest of the day."

    Can I ask what it was that was validated by this incident?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathryn

      I have always felt female, wanted to be female and live as a woman. Interacting with another woman, as a woman, being perceived as a woman by her, made me feel accepted as a woman. Thus validating my own feeling of being a woman

      Delete