Friday, October 11, 2013

Best Fit

IMG_0814_cropped_web My mother raised my sister and I in the 1950s, while my father worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, my mother became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, I (the sissy nee "Momma's boy") turned out to be very feminine, whereas my sister(the "Daddy's girl") was more independent and assertive.

During the 1950s, "there were two distinct shapes, the waif like gamine figure epitomized in movies by Audrey Hepburn and the more womanly hourglass figure represented by Grace Kelly, with tiny waists, padded hips and circle skirts." (Source:

My mother was in the latter group and I found herself in that group. too! I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in.

As I've written here before, I never felt that I was a female trapped in a male body. Instead, I was "me" trapped in the expectations of what being a "male" was all about.

Although I embraced things considered "male," I also rejected many "male" things, while embracing many "female" things. As a result, friends and enemies considered me to be effeminate.

I never tried to be feminine just as I never tried to be macho, but society branded me "effeminate" nonetheless. I was just being "me," which just happens to be considered “feminine” in the eyes of society.

I love all the female trappings; I love presenting as a woman and I am happiest when I am able to be a woman because it is the best fit for "me."

And so it goes.



Source: Femulate Archives

Womanless beauty pageant contestant.





Source: ShopBop

Wearing Rodebjer cape-coat, Harvey Faircloth shirred top, J Brand
skinny jeans, Jonathan Adler clutch and IRO pumps.


  1. You're very feminine and well-shaped! And about your "me", I feel exactly the same: I'm not suffering for not being a woman, but I embrace the womanhood as a normal/natural feature for me. Sometimes people ask me why I'm not interested in doing HRT or surgery to become more like a genetic woman, and I answer "because it's not my wish, as I am now, I feel like a powerful being, I can wear high heels, red lipstick and short skirt, but I still have the strength to punch someone if it's absolutely necessary". Maybe the lack of interest in men is also a reason...

  2. Stana,

    As Polonius said in Hamlet, "To thine own self be true".


  3. Wow is that really a femulator in that Womanless Pic (Blue Dress) wow wow..

    1. I don't think so. The neckline, the cheekbones, nose, the chest and arms, the hair. . .

    2. I agree. What pageant was that?. It's one of the best I've ever seen.

    3. The Femulator looks flat-chested to me. My source indicates that she is not a GG.

  4. For a contestant in a womanless pageant, "she" looks absolutely convincing. Can you share more about about that story?

    1. I have no more information than the Femulator is competing in a womanless beauty pageant in 2008.

  5. you can't let that beauty go back! Go backstage and thrown away her male clothes. A waste to let that go back to a man

  6. "I assume extra estrogen is responsible for my hourglass figure and predisposed - pre - me to embrace the feminine environment I found myself in." I'm wondering when you began estrogen therapy?

    I agree wholeheartedly with scalesman, (Pat).

    As to the woman pictured as the Womanless beauty pageant contestant, I have to ask, is she a GG? She could be. I took third place in a drag show once but never looked like her!

    1. 1. No estrogen therapy for me, but there is evidence that I was a DES baby.

      2. My source indicates that the Femulator is not a GG --- that's all I know.

    2. Thanks, Stana. I currently do not feel the need for HRT and have not most of my life, I'm told I'm not naturally very feminine, effeminate yes but not feminine.

      I also did not know about DES before I heard that term from you! I've looked it up on-line and my heartfelt sympathies go out to your mom. Again, thanks!

  7. Just feel I need to say yes to all the above!

  8. I m sorry but IMHO there is no way the pageant picture is a he
    The skin, no tan lines, the hairline, light make-up, I could go on and on
    If "she" really is a he, with those teeth he's definitely not from the south.
    I think for a lot of us it's simply wishful thinking of what might/could have been