Caught: Multiple Choice

Wearing Boston Proper

Fernand Gravey femulating in the 1935 French film Fanfare d'amour (Fanfare of Love ).
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Can saleswomen tell when a male is buying female clothing for himself?

Yes. Often they can guess, but they usually do not care nearly as much as the customer imagines.

Female sales associates, especially in womenswear, tend to notice patterns: a man buying items that match his own approximate size, asking detailed questions about fit, fabrics, returns, hosiery, shapewear, shoes or trying to sound casual while being visibly nervous. They may also recognize the classic “it’s for my wife/girlfriend” cover story when the buyer does not know her size, style or preferences.

But “can tell” is not the same as “will judge.” Most sales associates have seen it before. To them, it is usually just another sale and many would rather help a polite, serious customer than deal with a rude or messy one.

The most reliable giveaway is nervousness, not the clothing itself. A calm male customer buying a dress is less conspicuous than a panicky male customer buying “a dress for someone who is, uh, about my size.”

The best approach is simple confidence. “I’m shopping for myself. I’m looking for something in a size 16, preferably a wrap dress or something with some stretch.”

I never used the old “I’m buying this for my wife” excuse. I do admit to using the Halloween costume excuse, but I quickly abandoned that because it limited my shopping to the four to six weeks before October 31.

Once I fessed up and said I was shopping for myself, the whole experience changed. It was more honest, more productive, and frankly more fun especially watching the saleswoman’s initial reaction as she recalibrated from “confused male customer” to “oh, we’re really doing this.” After that first moment, most went right into professional mode and helped me find what I wanted.

That saves everyone the little performance. A good sales associate will usually switch right into professional mode: size, fit, color, occasion, dressing room, accessories. In fact, many appreciate the honesty because it lets them actually help.

So yes, some can tell. But the bigger truth is: they have probably already helped men buying women’s clothing before and you are not the shocking event you may feel like you are.

Wearing Shein

Bob L. Harris femulating in a 1953 television broadcast of Calamity Jane.

Supreme Court Upholds State Laws Banning Transgender Women And Girls From Female Sports Teams...

Read all about it by clicking here. 

Stuff 126: Hippie

Of An Age?

By J. J. Atwell

I’m of an age when hippies roamed the land freely. I suspect most of you are a bit younger than I am, but either way, it really doesn’t matter for this installment of Stuff. I just used that image, created by ChatGPT, to get your attention and lead you to the real point of today’s Stuff.

Getting To The Bottom

We all know that to dress like a woman, we need to (f)emulate a woman’s shape. To be up front about it, my immediate thought goes first to boobs. Yes, that was a pun. I love them. Yes, puns too.

But I’ve covered boobs in several previous installments, so today I’d like to get to the bottom of things and talk about how to simulate hips and a butt to achieve a better femme figure.

In what would have been Stuff #19, which Stana published on November 22, 2023, I talked about Stuff-ing. It was appropriately titled because it appeared right around Thanksgiving. In that installment, I mentioned a few options for hips and butts. Perhaps it’s time to review and revise. So that you don’t have to search for that issue, I’ll quote the applicable parts here:

…some have had good success with oval foam pads on the side and back inserted into their underwear. There are also padded panties that can be bought from many outlets, which are typically padded with foam rubber.

The most realistic hip and bum padding seems to be made of silicone and shaped to enhance the hips and wrap around to the back to enhance the bum. They feel natural and warm up to body temperature. However, they are surprisingly heavy and require a firm undergarment to hold them in place.

Still True?

Yes, I do think this is a good way to get that femme-shaped lower body. In terms of cost, oval foam pads are pretty inexpensive and give a good result. A quick search on Amazon will give you options for under $25. For a bit more, you can find an entire garment with the pads built in as well. If you go that route, be sure the pads are removable for washing.

Keep in mind that your outer clothing might have an impact on what you use. Simple foam pads are fine for loose skirts. But a pencil skirt or tights will look better with hip pads that extend down along the leg, almost to the knee. And your bum will probably need filling out as well. Here again, you can find a complete solution on Amazon for a reasonable price.

What about those expensive silicone pads you see advertised on some of the sites that cater to the CD community? I’ve got a set. They rest comfortably in their foam-lined box, hardly ever getting out.

I manage to get the right look with simpler, less expensive alternatives. The advantage of those silicone pads is that they are lifelike to the touch. I don’t know about you, but I’m not expecting anybody but me to be touching my girly hips or butt! But if that’s important to you, then by all means, go ahead with them.

Just realize, as I mentioned in my original article, that they are heavy and will tend to slide down unless constrained by a tight, long-legged panty — and perhaps some adhesive as well.

I’ll Be Back

Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Venus

Mr. Lawrence White, circa 1927

Summerday Funnies

Four Days Without a Safety Net

Reading Missy’s account of her trip to New York City brought back memories of my own unforgettable adventure in the Big Apple.

For over four days, I was en femme in New York City attending workshops, shopping, clubbing, dining, and sightseeing — all without a safety net.

I was not attending a trans event in NYC, where there might be some built-in protection, illusory or otherwise. Rather, I was completely out of the closet, just another out-of-towner visiting The City.

It was a big test for me: a test to find out whether I could live as a woman in the real world. And I passed that test in more ways than one.

I interacted with the civilian population without giving much thought to my female appearance. I was not walking around Manhattan thinking, “I’m a guy dressed as a gal — how is the public going to react?” Instead, I was completely comfortable in my own skin. As a result, civilians treated me as a real person, not as a sideshow freak.

I also had no fear about coming out to the other people attending my workshop. I might be able to fool some of the people some of the time, but in that workshop, I would be interacting face-to-face with about 20 people for hours on end over a four-day period. There was no way I could fool them in that scenario.

So it made sense to come out and make everybody more comfortable with the unusual person in their midst. My honesty resulted in more respect from my peers, and it made me feel more comfortable, too, because now I could simply be myself.

It also felt wonderful to pass as often as I did. The “ma’am,” “hon,” and even “dyke” comments sent my way attested to my ability to pass some of the time.

And you know you’re onto something when a squad car full of NYC police officers checks you out as you cross Sixth Avenue in Times Square wearing a dress and heels!

Wearing Boston Proper

Christer Lindarw, Swedish professional femulator

A Day in Missy Mode at Cats: The Jellicle Ball

By Missy

Hi again, readers!

I recently had the pleasure of spending an entire day in “Missy mode” when I had the chance to attend Cats: The Jellicle Ball on Broadway with close friends and their daughters.

If you are unfamiliar with the musical, it is a revival of the classic Cats, reimagined within the world of 1980s New York City LGBTQ+ ballroom culture. The songs and characters are the same as the original, but the new setting, apropos costuming and choreography — including runway strutting, voguing and other ballroom-style “competitions” — shift the storyline in a fresh and exciting direction.

You can find details at: https://catsthejellicleball.com/. It is also worth mentioning that Cats: The Jellicle Ball deservedly won Tony Awards for Best Costume Design, Choreography and Directing.

Now for my backstory.

Back in the spring, I decided to treat my friends to a performance of Mrs. Doubtfire: The Musical in New Haven. Unfortunately, a family emergency prevented me from attending, so they ended up using the tickets themselves. They are big theatergoers and enjoyed the show, but they said they still wanted to attend a musical with Missy. To make it up to me, they invited me to Cats: The Jellicle Ball. Once I researched what the musical was about, I wholeheartedly agreed.

As Femulate readers might remember from Stana’s posting of my 2026 prom experience this past June, these good friends have also acted as my fashion consultants. In fact, they had already picked out what I should wear to Broadway for this show.

Who was I to argue?

The dress did indeed fit the vibe of the show. A couple of days before our trip, my wife helped me pick out the appropriate jewelry: dangling earrings, a small choker necklace and a few gold and green rings, later supplemented by a cute rhinestone-studded cat pin from my friends. We also settled on shoes — gold 4.5-inch Calvin Klein sandals I found dirt cheap at Savers — and a neutral/gold makeup palette. Plus, with some patience that morning, I was even able to get false eyelashes to attach properly, which is something that usually gives me trouble!

I tried to coerce my wife into attending, but she is neither a big-city gal nor a musical-lover, so it was a hard pass. Thus, I would be attending with my friends and their three teenage daughters, who had already spent time with me as Missy once before.

In my experience, most teenagers tend to be pretty open-minded and accepting, and these three barely batted a false eyelash at my presentation. They were very complimentary, and the whole family’s ability to see nothing unusual whatsoever made for a very comfortable day.

Although she did not want to attend the show, my wife made a delicious brunch for all of us before we left, and I am so grateful for her continued support. After we departed, she texted pictures of me with our guests to our children, who are also supportive. The responses — “YAAAAAAAAS! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️” from our eldest daughter and “Your fit is the cat’s meow” from our son — were just what I had hoped for.

I was told that the theater district of New York is among the most diverse and accepting areas in the country, and upon arrival, that certainly seemed to be the case. As we made our way to the show, we received plenty of compliments — mostly because my friend’s fabulous pink suit and glittery boots garnered even more attention than my dress — and I honestly did not mind having some of the attention diverted.

After waiting outside for a bit, we entered the Broadhurst Theatre, where the stage was set up like a drag runway. It is a somewhat intimate venue, but the perfect size for this musical.

Before the show began, we decided to take care of the restroom. I admit that one initial fear I had was using the restroom without any issue. My friend eased my mind ahead of time by letting me know that every theater in the city has a sign posted that reads, “Gender diversity is welcome here. Please use the restroom that best fits your gender identity or expression.”

Amazing! Why can’t the whole country get on board?

For the record, I used the gents’ room, and he was right: nobody said a word. So my fear that the experience was going to be something like that scene from the film Bachelor Party — if you know, you know — was completely unwarranted.

The show itself was a spectacle from start to finish. The costumes were fanciful, the choreography and runway work were phenomenal, the scenes were sexy and suggestive at times, poignant and heartfelt at others, and there was so much going on that it was hard to know exactly where to look. My head was basically on a swivel the whole afternoon.

Moreover, the crowd was fully into it, which elevated the show even more. All in all, it was probably the best performance of any sort I have ever attended. If you are in the New York City area, you should treat yourself to the show while it is still running.

After the show, we grabbed dinner and gelato in a different part of the city. Even though we were no longer in the theater district, I was still met only with acceptance from everyone I encountered, from strangers on the street to other customers to servers and workers.

Is it possible that the hate-mongering toward crossdressers and members of our community is blown out of proportion? I tend to think so. I also tend to think that those who stir up trouble are in the minority.

I understand that attitudes vary widely by location, but I was mentally buoyed by this outing. Spending the entire day en femme was a first for me, and hopefully not the last. As I have said before, I know I do not pass, but I did my best to be confident, open and friendly, and simply be myself.

The experience was both affirming and joyful.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read another piece of my ongoing story. I will report back to Stana with any new happenings in the coming months.

Wearing Boston Proper

A crossdressing party in the 1961 French film Callaghan remet ça (Callaghan is back).
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Liking Like It Hot

Is a remake in the works?

TCM showed Some Like It Hot Monday night. I had not seen the film from beginning to end since it was first shown on television in 1964. Since the Missus went to bed early and the kiddo went to a Jelly Roll concert, I figured it was a good opportunity to watch the film uninterrupted — and so it was.

Marilyn Monroe was gorgeous. In my opinion, she was more gorgeous in Some Like It Hot than in any other film she ever appeared in.

Some Like It Hot was not an original. Two foreign films with very similar plots preceded it, and more foreign versions followed after its success (see below).

The boys’ femulations were inconsistent. Jack Lemmon’s Daphne was uniform throughout the film, but Tony Curtis’ Josephine was better in the first half than in the second half. Perhaps because, in the second half, he switched genders a few times and was unable to spend as much time doing his makeup as he did when he was full-time Josephine in the first half.

By the way, Josephine’s voice was dubbed by voice actor Paul Frees during most of the film.

I guess nobody’s perfect.

Fernand Gravey and Julien Carette femulating in the 1935 French film Fanfare d'amour (Fanfare of Love).
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Dieter Borsche and Georg Thomalla femulating in the 1951 West German film Fanfaren der Liebe (Fanfares of Love).
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Sadri Alışık and İzzet Günay in the 1964 Turkish film Fıstık Gibi Maşallah.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Petticoats on the Prairie

In the mining towns and cattle camps of the Old West, women were scarce and loneliness was as common as dust. A dance hall without girls was a losing proposition, so the proprietors learned to be practical. If the frontier could not provide enough ladies, then the frontier would make do.

This practice grew naturally out of the older tradition of “stag dances,” where men danced with one another in the absence of women, sometimes designating certain partners to take the “ladies’” role. What began as a simple, pragmatic solution—men pairing off to waltz or square dance—evolved in some places into something more elaborate and theatrical.

Behind the painted doors of many saloons, the “dance hall girls” were not women at all, but young men carefully transformed for the evening trade. By day, some worked as clerks, cooks, laundresses’ helpers, or stable boys. By night, they stepped behind a curtain and emerged powdered, corseted, perfumed, and petticoated, their hair curled beneath ribbons and their rough hands hidden in lace gloves.

The customers rarely objected. Many did not know, and many who knew pretended not to. After weeks on a trail drive or months in a mining camp, a pretty face, a swishing skirt, and a willing partner for a waltz were worth more than questions. The dance hall boys learned to move lightly, laugh sweetly, and let a lonely cowboy believe, for the length of one song, that civilization had followed him west.

Some became local favorites. They had stage names like Miss Pearl, Daisy Bell, Frenchy Rose, or Little Lottie. They knew how to tease a gambler into buying another bottle, how to flatter a prospector who had struck silver, and how to avoid the hands of a drunk who forgot the rules. The best of them were not merely substitutes for women; they were performers, hostesses, diplomats, and survivors.

In time, the arrangement became one of the West’s open secrets. A town might lack a schoolhouse, a church, or a proper hotel, but if it had a saloon with music, it had its girls—even if some of those girls shaved before supper and changed back into trousers before dawn.

Wearing Shein

Jack Benny (1894-1974) was an American entertainer who appeared en femme on television, film, stage and even on radio.

Stuff 125: Summer Stuff

How to Dress in the Summer

By J. J. Atwell

Ah yes, the wonderful warm days of summer are here. Or perhaps it’s the hot, sweaty days of summer? Either way, dressing in the summer presents a few challenges for the average CDer.

One of my regular readers, Lilly, commented after Stuff #68 about summer dressing and brought up sandals, swimsuits, bare legs, sheer hose, pretty toes and how to hide things in male mode. Several good points to ponder, so thanks, Lilly!

Sandals

Consider the popular summer shoe: the lowly sandal. Just a few strips of material holding a sole to the bottom of your foot and exposing everything from your ankles to your toes. Sandals are an invitation to sunburn the tops of your feet, and they can definitely leave odd tan lines for a guy. Further, since most sandals expose your toes, you might want to show off some colorful nail polish while dressed.

So now you’ve got feet with odd tan lines and pretty toes. How do you hide those tells in guy mode?

Wearing socks all the time is the easiest answer. Or use liberal amounts of sunscreen on your feet while wearing girly sandals to avoid getting those tan lines in the first place. Nail polish can be put on and taken off as the occasion dictates, but that is a bit of a bother. Maybe you just go out and don’t worry about what people may notice.

It really depends on you and your situation with family and friends who might see you. I’d be interested to hear how you handle this, so please leave a comment.

Bathing Suits

I covered bathing suits in a recent Stuff as they relate to tan lines, but there is more than tan lines to consider when wearing a woman’s bathing suit.

First of all, it needs to be cut to accommodate breast forms, assuming you need them in girl mode, while concealing the fact that it’s not all you in that top. And speaking of concealing, you need either a great tuck or a suit that has a bit more coverage on the bottom. Something with a skirt might work best for you. Perhaps a tankini?

Not only do you need to find a suit that works, but you also need to get comfortable exposing more skin than a guy usually shows. Take a look at the GGs on the beach or around the pool while you are out. Look at how much skin they expose. It’s a bit of a mystery to me how women get comfortable with the inevitable male stare when they wear something skimpy. Or, for that matter, the judgmental stare from some other women.

Now, as a CD, we have to deal with all of that while hoping we have covered up all the tells that would otherwise give us away. It takes a good amount of confidence in your presentation — something usually achieved only through experience.

Legs

Perhaps you’re showing more bare leg in the summer, the season of short shorts and skater skirts. Notice I said “bare leg.”

I know a lot of you are big fans of hose, but look around and see how few GGs are actually wearing nylons, pantyhose, etc., during the summer. Almost none, right? No covering up ugly, hairy legs with hose when you are out en femme unless you want to stand out. If you live in the South, this isn’t just a summertime issue, but rather a year-round consideration.

If you’re going out as a girl in the summer, you need to do something about the hair on your legs. Obviously, shaving is the easiest way to handle that for a day. Or perhaps go for a longer-term solution by getting waxed, which may last you a week or two. Either way, you need to be hair-free from your toes to the tops of your thighs, so you’ll be spending a bit of extra time getting rid of those follicles.

Some of you might also be concerned that when you are out in guy mode wearing shorts, people will notice you don’t have hair on your legs. Well, so what? Look around and you’ll see that lots of guys don’t have hair on their legs.

If you are hairy and need to explain why you aren’t any longer, you can just say you prefer it. Or use a story about a dermatologist prescribing a skin cream that has the consistency of petroleum jelly and wouldn’t cover well with a lot of hair.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Not that anybody has asked.

I’ll Be Back

As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about, please let me know!

Wearing JCPenney

Johnny Downs femulating in the 1941 film All American Co-Ed.

Click here to view this film on YouTube and be sure to check out the stage full of femulators at the beginning of the film.