Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I don't blend and I don't care

2011-11-08_blending Many wise transwomen recommend blending if you are trying to pass.

The theory says that if you dress like the other women in the environment you plan to be in, that is, if you blend in with the other women, you will lessen the chances of bringing attention to yourself, thus increasing the chances of successfully passing yourself off as a woman.

For example, if you are going grocery shopping, then jeans and a top would be your choice of apparel for blending in most places.

I have tried blending and it seems to work, but blending is boring. When I dress en femme, I want to dress EN FEMME, if you know what I mean. I dress to be noticed not to be ignored. If I wanted to be ignored, I'd dress en homme.

As Lucille Sorella wrote recently in her Feminization Secrets blog, "As a genetic woman, the last thing I want to do is blend in! I wear makeup, style my hair, and dress fashionably because I want to stand out in a crowd. I believe it’s a natural feminine desire to want to be noticed."

As a transwoman, I feel the same way.

And perchance I have to go to Stop & Shop to buy a few items while I am en femme, I just think of myself as another working girl dressed appropriately for the office, but overdressed for grocery shopping during her lunch hour or on her way home from the office.

Works for me.


  1. Amen!

    I've said it before: when a woman goes out for a special event, she dresses UP. Every time I go out, it's a special event!

    The most "down" I've dressed is a longer skirt and bare legs.

  2. It's always been in my mind to always make my presentation, a complement to woman and a celebration of my femininity. So heck yes, I definitely do it with style and a fashion sense that says all woman. No dowdy blending in for this girly girl. I defiantly desire that people notice me! Why else dress up? I would have to admit though, the reasons behind my vanity are varied and have many layers. I'll share just some.
    I believe when anyone who steps out in public should present themselves to the best of their ability. (remember those days when you dressed for respect and to give respect?)
    I need not have people believe that I am a woman, so long as they don't consider me a man (in a dress).
    I like to believe that I am an ambassador for the T community and desire to allow people to see me as a person to be respected because of the presentation I make.
    I believe when people see our pride in our selves and respect for our environment that the burden on our child gender questioners will be lessened.
    As always when I step out, and interact as a woman I do so with the attitude of a woman. It's the key to having people treat you like one, which is really my only basic need, the foundations of all of my other needs and actions.

  3. Personally, I prefer to blend ... I want to appear as a woman, and women, by definition, blend. I wear pants most of the time, as other women do. I like capris ...

    But, I've been wanting to wear a nice skirt and jacket combo I just bought, and I think I will, next time I go to my favorite coffee spot of a morning.

    It's all a matter of what each one of us is comfortable doing ... as always, YMMV.