For many years, crossdressing was something I did privately. Like many crossdressers, I spent too much time wondering what would happen if someone discovered my secret. Eventually, I ventured out of the closet and discovered that most of my fears were unwarranted. The civilian population was far more accepting or perhaps far less interested than I had imagined.
That discovery became the inspiration for Femulate. If I could leave the closet and experience the world as a woman, perhaps other crossdressers could do it, too.
Blogging about crossdressing is different from blogging about gardening, stamp collecting or ham radio. Crossdressing is personal. Every post reveals something about the person writing it, even when the post is supposedly about someone else.
When I write about a shopping trip, a compliment or an awkward encounter, I am not merely reporting what happened. I am also revealing my hopes, fears, successes and mistakes. Sometimes that degree of honesty is uncomfortable, but it is also what makes a blog worth reading.
Readers can usually tell when a writer is being genuine. They recognize their own experiences in the story. They may never have worn four-inch heels to the supermarket, but they understand the excitement and nervousness of stepping through the door en femme for the first time.
Over the years, I have written about clothing, makeup, passing, shopping, restrooms, marriage, work, Halloween and countless other subjects related to crossdressing. Occasionally, I wonder whether there is anything left to say.
Then an old memory comes to mind. A reader asks a question. Something unexpected happens during an outing. Or I reconsider an opinion I expressed years ago. Crossdressing may remain the subject, but our understanding of it changes as we gain experience and grow older.
The most rewarding part of blogging is hearing from readers who say that something I wrote helped them. Some finally admitted to themselves that they were crossdressers. Some told their spouses. Others bought their first complete outfit or took their first steps into the civilian world.
Those messages remind me that blogging is not simply an exercise in self-expression. Words can give someone encouragement at exactly the moment it is needed.
That also means a crossdressing blogger has a responsibility. My experience is not everyone’s experience. What worked for me may not work for another person. Family situations differ, communities differ and personal safety must always be considered. I can describe the road I traveled, but each reader must decide whether that road is suitable for her.
Blogging also has its less pleasant moments. Some people criticize without understanding. Others want every crossdresser to use the same label, follow the same rules or share the same goals. But crossdressers are as varied as any other group of people. Some dress privately, some go out occasionally and some live much of their lives as women. There is room for all of us.
For me, the heart of Femulate has always been encouragement. I want crossdressers to know that presenting as a woman does not have to be treated as something shameful, scandalous or sensational. It can simply be an enjoyable and fulfilling part of life.
I also try not to take it all too seriously. Crossdressing provides plenty of opportunities for humor. False eyelashes refuse to cooperate. A high heel finds the only crack in the sidewalk. A carefully coordinated outfit encounters a sudden downpour. If we cannot laugh at ourselves occasionally, we are missing part of the fun.
After all these years, I continue blogging because there are still stories to tell and people who need to hear them. Somewhere, a crossdresser is sitting in front of a computer, wondering whether she will ever have the courage to leave the closet.
Perhaps she will read about one of my adventures and think, “If Stana could do it, maybe I can do it, too.”
That is reason enough to keep writing.
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Drew Carey femulating on a Halloween episode of The Drew Carey Show. |
