Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tuesday en femme: the whole story


I feel so invigorated when I awake on a day I am going out en femme and Tuesday was no different.

I did my makeup and hair and achieved a different look.

I penciled in my eyebrows as I think they should look and then I took a tweezer and removed every hair that was not inside the boundaries I had penciled in. The result was stunning! It was the first time I had truly feminine eyebrows and I wanted to show them off.

Usually, I wear my hair with bangs to cover my less than feminine eyebrows, but yesterday, I parted my hair on one side and swept my bangs aside to reveal my eyebrows.

Cosmetic experts say that you should emphasize your eyes or your lips, but not both. With all the attention on my eyes, I used a pale pink lipstick rather than my usual choice of a red shade.

Overall, I looked different, maybe a little younger and I was very satisfied with my makeup work.

I finished dressing and checked myself out in the mirror. I immediately disliked my gold chainlink necklace and earrings. I don't know if it was their color or what, but they just did not go with my outfit, so I chucked the necklace. Before I hit the road, I chucked the earrings, too. I did not have anything else that was better, so I went without jewelry except for my watch.

I snapped a few photos, grabbed my purse, drove to the mall 15 minutes away, and arrived just as the stores were opening.

Originally, I intended to shop for a coat, but now I had some new shopping ideas.

The dress I was wearing had a neckline that should reveal something besides the flat plains of Kansas. After all, I nearly fill a B cup, so I figured with a little adjustment, some of that B could be revealed. My plan was to visit Victoria's Secret and shop for a bra that could do push-ups.

I walked halfway across the mall to Vickie's. The mall was quiet, mostly store staff and elderly shoppers. No one paid much attention to me except for one gent, who ogled me.

Entering Vickie's, a saleswoman welcomed me and I told her what I wanted. She directed me to Jackie, their bra saleswoman and I told her what I wanted, too. She said she had just what I needed and asked me my bra size.

"38B" was not what she wanted to hear and she explained that the perfect bra for me only came in C cups (and beyond). She suggested trying on a 36C and/or a 38C. I agreed and she fetched one in each size in my color of choice (black), then escorted me to the dressing room.

I removed my dress and bra and tried on the 36C. It was too small and I never even tried to hook it closed. The 38C was a better fit and gave a big boost to my breasts. The flat plains of Kansas gave way to the rolling hills of Southern New England.

Jackie checked me out, adjusted the straps, and proclaimed that it was a perfect fit.

I decided to wear my new bra for the rest of the day, so I put on my dress, exited the dressing room, and immediately was aware of the new topography below my neckline. Wow! I felt like a new woman.

My next shopping goal was to find earrings to go with my outfit. Clip-on earrings are a rare commodity and I was not optimistic.

I tried Claire's and asked the saleswoman if she had any. She showed me the racks containing clip-ons and there were only about 25 pairs in all, but there was one pair that was perfect: a pair of dark gold open disk earrings about 1-1/4-inch in diameter.

I paid for the earrings, exited the store, found a seat in the mall, and put on my purchase, which you can see in the photo above.

I strolled through the mall and perused the dress racks in Macy's and JCPenney's. There were a lot of nice dresses, but only one that I really wanted to buy, but sadly, it was not in my size. So, I left the mall empty-handed albeit with new bling on my ears and new lingerie supporting my breasts.

It was a nice morning at the mall, but the afternoon was coming up fast and it was time to drive to Southern Connecticut State University in New Haven where I would visit two human sexuality classes to do outreach.


Twenty-five minutes later, I parked my car in the university parking lot. I freshened my makeup, then walked to the correct classroom building where I met my fellow presenters, two male-to-female transsexuals, the spouse of one, and a female-to-male transsexual.

I have done outreach with all of them before and we chatted until Professor Anna Schildroth arrived and escorted us to the classroom. (The photo below shows me and Professor Schildroth in the student center between classes.)

As we enter the classroom, I always pay attention to the students' reaction when they first see us. Usually, they try to act cool and not pay any special attention to us, but some sneak peeks at us surreptitiously and a few check us out thoroughly. We usually surprise them because we are not what they expected because we are convincing in our presentations.

Both classes had about 30 students with females in the majority.

We each gave a short description of ourselves.

Mine was different than in the past. I basically reiterated what I wrote in my Whatever Works blog entry , i.e., "I am not a woman trapped in a man's body, I am really a woman. I think as a woman, I emote as a woman, I act as a woman, I speak as a woman, and whenever the opportunity arises, I present as a woman. To most of my acquaintances I am the most womanly male they know and that's because I really am a woman."

No one blinked when I said this.

After our short biographies, the class and presenters split into two groups and each half of the class had an opportunity to ask us all questions. I was teamed with the male-to-female transsexual and her spouse.

A few of the students asked questions, but the majority was silent, so whenever I had an opportunity to answer a question, I went on and on answering it in the hope that something I said would draw them out.

The "how did you arrive at your female name" query came up in each session.

Another repeated question for me was about my nails; the questioners wanted to know what I did about my acrylic nails since I was in boy mode most of the time. Stick-on fake nails was my answer and they usually responded "they look as good as acrylics."

A couple of questions/comments were complimentary. One female student said my hair looked great and wanted the details about my hairdo. A couple of female students loved my shoes and wanted to know where I bought them. Still another complimented me on my fashion sense.

Another female student asked if guys ever hit on me and what do I do if they do. I consider that question very complimentary because the questioner must think I look good enough that a guy might hit on me.

I did receive one question that I never received before: since I stated that I am attracted to women and not men, does that make me a lesbian? I guess so.

By the way, my shoes were comfortable until I developed a blister on the fourth toe of each foot. Even with the blisters, they were still tolerable. In fact, I was unaware of the blisters until I took off my pantyhose at the end of the day.

The class ended at 4:30 PM and I was spent, but it was another great day out en femme.


  1. Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience. Sounds like you had a great day all around. And after the classes I bet your batteries were recharged as well. I can't help but feel that the world is a little brighter today because of your outreach. Keep up the great work!

  2. Bev - Thank you for the kind words.

  3. It sounds like you had an excellent day en femme AND a very informative, productive one, too. That's a double-dose of awesome!! :) The outreach program you participated in is so important. Even those who remained quiet and did not outwardly show much curiosity or interest still learned plenty, I'm sure. Every mind that is educated is another major win. The potential for them to share what they have learned with others makes it that much more powerful - no more misconceptions. If/when they share what they have learned with others, it will be an account of an attractive, down-to-earth, intelligent person they got to know a little about and NOT some weird oddity.

    Thank you for making yourself available to do this. I know it is something you find enjoyable and rewarding on a personal level, but still, thank you for choosing to educate and make a difference.

    On a side note - sorry about the color confusion on your dress in my other comment! *blushing* It looked darker on my screen in the other photo (and maybe I need my eyes checked lol). You still looked great, head to toe, and some of the students seemed to have pointed that out as well.

    With much respect and admiration, please keep on doing what you're doing! :)

  4. You were on sparkling form there and as it says on the packet "fell like a woman, wear a bra" preferably one which fits like skin.

    Caroline xx

  5. Dear Staci Lana

    The day sounds terrific, you must be so recharged. Thanks for the great representation to the classes.

    Shame the students did not engage more actively with you and others who had taken the time to get in front of them. They must be comatose on a typical day of class.

    Alas... happy weekend.

  6. So what do you do when guys hit on you? You looked great. If I looked as good as you I don't think I would ever go back to male mode.

  7. Anonymous --- I point to my wedding ring when guys hit on me. And thank you for your kind words.

  8. Staci, it's me the same anonymous as before and this is a sort of technical cross dressing question about your wedding ring. Do you have a female wedding ring for when you are en femme? or do you just keep on your male one? I'm rather attached to my wedding ring, but I think it would probably ruin whatever small semblance of femininity I might posess en femme. that said wedding rings are expensive and if anyone deserves a new ring, it's my wife, not me.

  9. Anonymous --- My wife and I have matching wedding bands that are neither masculine or feminine. Maybe I should shop around for aa inexpensive engagement ring with a faux diamond.