Men @ MAC

Wearing Elágia

Why Do I Crossdress?

I’m sure that’s a question you’ve asked yourself many times. I know I have.

I have plenty of thoughts on the subject, but the truth is, I still don’t really know why. So I decided to ask AI, “Why do I crossdress?” What follows is its unedited answer.

Crossdressers crossdress for many different reasons, and often for several reasons at once.

For some, feminine clothing, makeup, and mannerisms simply feel attractive, comfortable, or personally expressive. They enjoy the transformation and the chance to present a side of themselves that ordinary male life does not allow much room for.

Others crossdress because it provides:

Emotional release: Dressing can reduce stress and create a sense of calm, freedom, or escape.

A fuller sense of self: Some feel that their feminine side is a genuine part of their personality rather than a costume.

Pleasure in fashion and beauty: Women’s clothing offers more variety in color, shape, texture, accessories, hairstyles, and makeup.

Confidence or affirmation: Being seen and treated as a woman—even temporarily—can feel validating and exciting.

Exploration: Crossdressing can help someone examine gender roles, identity, appearance, or how society treats men and women.

Sexual excitement: For some, especially early on, there is an erotic component. For many, this decreases or becomes less central over time.

Performance or play: Theater, drag, humor, costume events, and role-playing can also be motivations.

Crossdressing does not automatically mean someone wants to become a woman, is transgender, or is gay. Some crossdressers are satisfied living primarily as men while occasionally presenting as women. Others eventually realize that crossdressing was part of a deeper transgender or gender-fluid identity.

The most honest answer is that many crossdressers do it because it makes them feel good, complete, relaxed, beautiful, or more authentically themselves—and stopping may feel like suppressing an important part of who they are.

Wearing Miraclesuit

Bunny Lewis femulating in the 1973 British film A Couple of Beauties.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Stuff 128: Be Yourself

Do You Have a Role Model?

By J. J. Atwell

Today I’m pondering how having a role model affects the way we dress. Actually, it’s something I’ve wondered about for quite some time.

When I get dressed, I’m influenced by many different women. Some I know personally, some I follow online, and some I’ve simply noticed while out in public. A few are famous, but most are ordinary women.

I suspect we develop our sense of style in much the same way GGs do. How do you, dear reader, find a role model and how far do you go in trying to (f)emulate her? Are you a faithful follower or do you put your own twist on the look?

These days, my role models tend to be women my own age—or perhaps as much as 20 years younger. I don’t currently have a famous role model. Instead, whenever I see an elegant woman in elegant surroundings, I take a mental snapshot. Eventually, I accumulate enough of those images for them to coalesce into a picture of how I would like to look when dressed.

Then the hard work begins.

Reality

Once I have that mental image of how I would like to look, reality steps in. I realize I’m not that tall. I don’t have that long, slim neck. I don’t have that lustrous hair. My figure is also missing a few important curves. So I have to learn how to compensate.

Unfortunately, I often fail miserably at that. Fortunately, I have discovered the key to being happy: I adopt the elements of an outfit that appeal to me and that also work with my physical reality. By doing so, I have developed my own style. I hope you have, too.

The Importance of Being You

In the words of that famous philosopher Snoopy, “Be yourself. Nobody can say you’re doing it wrong.”

I love that quote. It gives you so much freedom—not only in how you dress, but also in how you behave and interact with others.

We all have learned behaviors. Some we adopted readily. Others were thrust upon us. Fortunately, any learned behavior can be modified.

Take the time to examine yourself. Identify what makes you you, and be unapologetic about it.

Unless, of course, it happens to be illegal. LOL.

I’ll Be Back

Writing this installment has already inspired an outline for a future Stuff about body image.

I welcome your comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Boston Proper

Femulating on Russian television’s Kings of the Game.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Absurdity

Working En Femme: The Low Down

Men working en femme can mean different things. For some, it is an occasional experience—perhaps on Halloween, during a special workplace event, or as part of a personal experiment. For others, it becomes a regular way of presenting at work, whether they identify as crossdressers, gender-nonconforming men, or are exploring a more permanent transition.

The workplace is a particularly meaningful place to appear en femme because it is not merely a social outing. A person must function professionally for an entire day: commuting, attending meetings, dealing with customers, using shared facilities, eating lunch with coworkers, and concentrating on the job while wearing an unfamiliar wardrobe and presentation.

Preparation matters. An outfit that looks wonderful for dinner may be impractical for eight hours at a desk. Shoes must be comfortable enough for walking, makeup may require a midday touch-up, and clothing must suit the workplace rather than resemble evening wear. A conservative dress, skirt suit, blouse and skirt, or polished business-casual outfit usually attracts less attention than something overly glamorous. The goal is to look like a competent employee who happens to be dressed femininely—not like someone wearing a costume.

Coworkers often take their cues from the person appearing en femme. Someone who acts nervous, apologetic, or theatrical may make others uncomfortable. Someone who behaves naturally, does the job well, and treats the day as normal usually makes it easier for everyone else to do the same. After the initial surprise, the novelty frequently fades, and deadlines, meetings, and office gossip regain their usual importance.

There can still be difficult moments. Some coworkers may stare, ask intrusive questions, use the wrong name, or make jokes. Customers may react unpredictably. Management may be supportive, indifferent, or uncertain about how to respond. That is why a person considering working en femme should understand the workplace culture, dress code, and likely reaction before arriving unexpectedly.

Yet the experience can also be liberating. A man who has spent years hiding his feminine side may discover that he can remain respected, productive, and professional while presenting differently. Coworkers may become more accepting once they see that the person beneath the clothing has not changed. In some cases, working en femme strengthens confidence because it proves that femininity and competence are not opposites.

The most important lesson is that working en femme eventually becomes less about the clothes and more about simply working. The heels stop sounding unusually loud. The handbag finds its place beside the desk. The makeup becomes just another part of getting ready. Once everyone realizes that the work is still being done, the extraordinary can become surprisingly ordinary.

Wearing Shein

Heinz Conrads femulating in the 1958 Austrian film Der Page vom Palast-Hotel.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Girls

Wearing The Outnet

Manuel Palacios femulating in the 1948 Mexican film Fijate Que Suave.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Mall No More

The mall was one of my favorite places to go en femme.

Even if I was not planning to buy anything — a rare occurrence! — I loved to mince through the mall with my heels clicking and my derriere wiggling, browsing the racks with the other ladies. They seemed to have no issue with a 6-foot-2 lady in 3-inch heels joining them, arms full of clothing to try on in the dressing room.

By the way, to protect myself in case anyone had a problem with my presence, I always asked a saleslady where the dressing room was so I could try on my finds even though I usually could have found it with my eyes closed, having used that facility in some stores countless times.

They always directed me to the ladies’ dressing room, so if anyone complained, I could say, “But, officer, she told me to use the ladies’ dressing room!”

Yes, I fit in pretty well. The handful of odd looks I received were far outnumbered by the countless salespeople and customers, both female and male, who interacted with me as just another middle-aged lady shopping until she dropped.

Which reminds me…

Back when some stores required you to show a photo ID, usually a driver’s license, when using a credit card, more than once the cashier looked at my license and asked, “Is this your husband’s driver’s license?”

Those were the days!

Sadly, my favorite mall is now a “dead mall.” There are no stores there that I want to visit and, worse, there are no people to watch me mince by!

And so it goes.

Wearing Stylewe

Clay Adkins femulating in the 1999 film Forever Fabulous.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Last Names

Bob asked, “Do crossdressers change their last names the way they change their first names?”

That’s hard to say. It’s obvious when a girl changes her first name—after all, not many boys are named Marybeth by their parents—but it’s not obvious whether she has changed her last name, too, unless the last name is so obviously not their real last name as in Candy Kane, for example. 

So who knows for sure?

Wearing Mac Douggal

P.R. Morgan, affectionately known as “Mollie,” was celebrated for his natural acting abilities and often played the leading female roles in the elaborate revues and musical pastiches of the Timbertown Follies, a highly successful cabaret and theatrical troupe formed by British Royal Naval Division sailors interned during WWI in Groningen, Netherlands (nicknamed “HMS Timbertown”).

Stuff 127: Hamburgers

I Love Hamburgers

By J. J. Atwell

Hamburgers are one of my favorite foods. Maybe you love them, too. Think about it: a juicy medium-rare patty topped with cheese and bacon. Maybe some onions and mushrooms. Add a side order of fries and perhaps a chocolate shake. Yum.

But what do hamburgers have to do with femulating? Nothing in particular, except that I recently enjoyed a burger with a group from my local club, FEM Florida, at the newly opened Hamburger Mary’s in Kissimmee, Florida. That’s near Disney World, for those geographically challenged.

The place is incredibly welcoming to all lifestyles.

The Experience

This was quite an experience. Although I’ve been to a couple of drag shows before, this was something I’ll remember for a long time. I really enjoyed it!

It was a dark and stormy night. Well, actually, it was early evening, but it was definitely stormy. It rained hard, with lightning strikes close by and really loud thunderclaps. I had arrived early and sat in the car for about 15 minutes hoping the storm would abate, but it didn’t.

Even though I had secured a parking space close to the venue and had an umbrella, it was impossible to stay dry in even that short distance. That reminds me: I need to check the heels I wore that night for water damage. Sigh.

Once I braved the weather and made it inside, I found several members of our group at the bar. Soon others trickled or perhaps squished in. We all had a good time chatting until it was time to be seated.

The restaurant had set up a long table for us very close to the stage. We continued our conversations while perusing the menu, which offers much more than just hamburgers. The Loaded Tatas were also a hit.

I found the clientele very interesting and amusing. While our group seemed to go to great lengths dressing so as not to attract attention, a lot of the other patrons were dressed to… well, I’m not quite sure what look some of them were going for.

Speaking of looks, the picture at the top of this installment of Stuff is me at the restaurant. I used ChatGPT to blur the background to protect the privacy of the other patrons and also to remove the clutter on the table in front of me.

I just love that top and will be looking for something similar in other colors. I think the way it drapes does wonders for my presentation, although that might also have been helped a bit by going up a cup size that night.

The show itself was lots of fun. There were three performers, and each impersonated two different stars in a show that ran about 90 minutes. They really were excellent. They had the looks and moves down so well that you could almost believe they were the actual stars they were impersonating.

At the end of the show, the performers posed with anyone who wanted a picture to commemorate the event. During the show, we all tipped the performers often as they worked the audience.

Note to self: Next time, bring even more dollar bills. They go quickly.

I’ll Be Back

I expect to go back to this venue soon and may not wait for my group to go again.

In the meantime, I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Shein

Dieter Borsche (right) femulating in the 1951 West German film Fanfaren der Liebe (Fanfares of Love).
Click here to view this film on YouTube.