Yes. Often they can guess, but they usually do not care nearly as much as the customer imagines.
Female sales associates, especially in womenswear, tend to notice patterns: a man buying items that match his own approximate size, asking detailed questions about fit, fabrics, returns, hosiery, shapewear, shoes or trying to sound casual while being visibly nervous. They may also recognize the classic “it’s for my wife/girlfriend” cover story when the buyer does not know her size, style or preferences.
But “can tell” is not the same as “will judge.” Most sales associates have seen it before. To them, it is usually just another sale and many would rather help a polite, serious customer than deal with a rude or messy one.
The most reliable giveaway is nervousness, not the clothing itself. A calm male customer buying a dress is less conspicuous than a panicky male customer buying “a dress for someone who is, uh, about my size.”
The best approach is simple confidence. “I’m shopping for myself. I’m looking for something in a size 16, preferably a wrap dress or something with some stretch.”
I never used the old “I’m buying this for my wife” excuse. I do admit to using the Halloween costume excuse, but I quickly abandoned that because it limited my shopping to the four to six weeks before October 31.
Once I fessed up and said I was shopping for myself, the whole experience changed. It was more honest, more productive, and frankly more fun especially watching the saleswoman’s initial reaction as she recalibrated from “confused male customer” to “oh, we’re really doing this.” After that first moment, most went right into professional mode and helped me find what I wanted.
That saves everyone the little performance. A good sales associate will usually switch right into professional mode: size, fit, color, occasion, dressing room, accessories. In fact, many appreciate the honesty because it lets them actually help.
So yes, some can tell. But the bigger truth is: they have probably already helped men buying women’s clothing before and you are not the shocking event you may feel like you are.
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| Wearing Shein |
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| Bob L. Harris femulating in a 1953 television broadcast of Calamity Jane. |
