Monday, September 16, 2019

Wedding Gown Femulations

By Paula Gaikowski, Femulate Contributing Editor

It was a typical busy weekend filled with family errands and activities. My wife and I were off in separate directions to meet later at a friend’s house in Putnam, Connecticut. On my honey-do list was to drop off clothes at the Salvation Army.

I was on my way to Putnam before I realized that the clothes were still in the back. I found a Savers thrift shop on the way to Putnam and stopped in with the clothes to drop them off. Most of my girl clothes come from thrift shops and I couldn’t resist a quick look around.

I was almost on my way out the door and there it was: a tea-length wedding dress. It drew me closer… a size 18, “Yes!” and it was beautiful. The fitting rooms stood a few feet away. What the heck! Into the dressing room I went. I unzipped it and then stepped into the dress, gradually pulled it up and pushed my arms through the sleeves. As I reached around and tugged the zipper up, I felt the dress begin to close in around me and as if it held a little magic or maybe that magic was inside me, I became for just a second a bride. I stood there spellbound looking in the mirror. Another two or three minutes of wedding bliss and I retreated into my prison uniform (cargo shorts and ducks unlimited t-shirt).

Back in the car, I sat and thought for just a second and noticed my eyes had teared up a bit. Wedding dresses are powerful and emotional garments. They carry with them dreams and hopes of a lifetime. It was a powerful experience for me. I would be a bit off and distant the rest of the evening.

If you have ever worn a wedding dress, you may have had similar feelings. As transgender women, many of us miss out on this experience.

I was elated to see an event recently held in Denver. WhXYte Wedding, an all-transgender model bridal fashion show celebrating and benefiting transgender women. The organizer, Hana from Hana’s Designs, has been a friend of the transgender community for decades. Back in the 90’s, her salon became the place to go for transgender women in Denver.

As those more mature amongst us remember pre-internet, it was businesses like those where a transgender person could find support and network with others in the community. When Hana became ill with cancer, the outpouring of support from the transgender community was remarkable. She never forgot.

A recurring theme she often heard from many transgender women was the desire to be a beautiful bride. This motivated her to produce WhXYte Wedding which permitted some transgender women to live out their visions of being a bride at an fashionable, enjoyable and elegant event.

The event included a wedding ceremony celebrating a transgender woman and her wife renewing their vows, a gourmet menu, TED speaker Paula Stone Williams, dancing and a silent action. This event was a fundraiser to assist Denver area organizations that deal with the problems faced by transgender people.

What was awesome about the event is that the brides came from all walks of life: a Navel Commander, State Legislator, Scientist, Doctor and Firefighter. It is wonderful that now we as a transgender community have finally come out of our safe havens and can celebrate an elegant and fashionable event like this with dignity, pride and most importantly, hope.




Source: Venus
Wearing Venus




Femulating man and wife
Femulating man and wife

11 comments:

  1. Who knew a "boring" honey-do day would turn out to be so special? Did Paula return to the shop to buy that wedding dress?

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    1. No Mikki I didn't buy the dress, and I regret not doing so.

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  2. Really, you should have 'pulled the trigger' and bought. (or waited until markdown day).
    The local version of Savers here is Value Village. (Google 'who owns Value Village?' -it'll BLOW YOUR MIND!) I have bought TWO wedding dresses there. One dress was 75% off their 'first' price, down to $15.00. One dress was ABOVE KNEE and definitely non-traditional. The other has a LONG TRAIN and the whole dress weighs a TON! The weight of the dress hanging on ones shoulders is definitely symbolic of the 'weight' of the 'office of Bride'.
    I also bought one at Goodwill 'last chance' store where the clothes go for a $1.49/pound. All are 'just my size' 20-22W. A cheap thrill that I recommend for all of you. There are wedding dress retailers who do welcome crossdressers. Check out a recent post by rhondaescape.com where she visited a Bridal Store.
    Like you, I have a TON of different clothes/jewelry from various THRIFT STORES. I also pick up clothes for my wife, as we both share 'the same (hair/skin) color palate'. She LOVES my sense of taste in 'her' clothes.
    YOLO
    Velma

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    1. Sounds like you have a nice collection of gowns, I love watching Yes to the dress, although I love the dress styles from the 90's

      My friend has been to several Bridal shops trying on dresses

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    2. https://www.flickr.com/photos/15269743@N07/albums/72157647462945283

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  3. http://www.rhondasescape.com/2019/05/feminine-differential-ultimate-dress.html

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  4. We didn't wear gowns, but my bride and I both wore dresses for our quiet outdoors ceremony. Pictures and prose here:
    http://youcancallmemeg.blogspot.com/2015/01/12-13-14-getting-started.html
    and in the next few posts.

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    1. Meg -

      I wish I could have celebrated with the two of you!

      M

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  5. I love the picture of the two brides. Was this taken when they renewed their vows? I'd love to be wearing the White Wedding Gown if I get married again....

    M

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    1. these 2 brides are actually friends of mine , and they renewed their vows in eureka springs during a conference there in 2006 i believe, they are stilled married to this day and are happy as ever

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  6. Touching story indeed! If any person of any gender wishes to wear a bridal dress and parade around town while having fun, check out "Brides of March" in San Francisco. Google this and you will see what a crazy, wonderful and empowering event it is!

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