Happy Halloween!

She’s Wearing My Dress!

Watching the noon news on WFSB Channel 3, I couldn’t help noticing that the newscaster was wearing the same dress I own—one I bought from Venus three years ago.

Besides enjoying the coincidence, I was surprised to see her wearing a dress that had been around for three years. I always thought people who appear on TV wore the latest fashions.

I guess not!

So, who wore it better?

Wearing Boston Proper

Irish actor and comedian Jimmy O'Dea crossdressed in character as Mrs. Biddy Mulligan during a 1943 recording of a BBC radio show.

'Tis the Season

Vacation

I am taking a vacation. See you later.

The New (Wo)men

War Stories

A Feminine Figure: It’s All About Proportion

What is the best way to achieve a feminine figure?

For a crossdresser, the answer usually involves several things working together: a well-fitted bra, thoughtfully chosen padding, suitable shapewear, and clothes that flatter the body underneath them.

The secret is proportion. A larger bust does not automatically make a figure look more feminine. Neither does squeezing your waist into the smallest garment you can fasten. What matters is how your shoulders, bust, waist, and hips look together.

And there is no single female figure to copy. Women come in every height, size, and shape—including tall women with broad shoulders and narrow hips. We have plenty of company.

Start with the clothes you want to wear

Before buying foundations, consider the silhouette you want to create.

A fitted sheath dress may benefit from a defined waist and some hip padding. A fit-and-flare dress supplies much of that shape through its construction. A wrap dress can suggest a waist without requiring you to build an hourglass underneath it.

Sometimes the best figure improvement is a different dress.

This is why I recommend beginning with one complete outfit. Get its proportions right, then use what you learn when assembling the next one.

Choose a bust that belongs on your frame

Breast forms can help clothing hang as intended, but bigger is not necessarily better.

Consider your height, the width of your torso, and the amount of fullness you want at your hips. On a tall, broad frame, a little more volume may look balanced. On another frame, a smaller bust may produce a more convincing result.

The bra matters, too. Its band should sit securely and its cups should accommodate the forms without gaps or overflow. Check their position beneath your clothes: breast forms sitting too high or too far apart can distract from an otherwise lovely outfit.

Try the bra and forms under the actual garment. Their appearance in isolation tells only part of the story.

Give your hips some consideration

We can become so interested in our bustlines that we neglect the other half of the equation.

If your shoulders are noticeably wider than your hips, modest hip padding may help balance your silhouette. Look for a smooth transition from waist to hip to thigh. An abrupt bulge or a visible pad edge defeats the purpose.

You may need less padding than you expect, particularly beneath an A-line skirt or a dress with a fuller skirt.

The objective is a shape that makes sense beneath your clothes.

Use shapewear for a smooth foundation

A girdle, shaping brief, or bodysuit can help create a smoother line beneath a dress. Choose it according to what the outfit needs. A garment that smooths your middle may be more useful than one promising a dramatic waist reduction.

Fit matters more than the size printed on the label. Rolling waistbands, digging edges, and pronounced bulges suggest that a different size or style would work better.

You should be able to sit, bend, breathe comfortably, and enjoy your outing. Getting dressed should not become an endurance contest.

Let your wardrobe help

Clothing can do a surprising amount of the shaping.

An A-line skirt adds fullness below the waist. A wrap style creates a diagonal line across the torso. A shaped jacket can suggest curves, while a belt can emphasize a waist—provided its width and position suit you.

If you want to balance broad shoulders, try a simpler upper half with more fullness below. Experiment with necklines, sleeve shapes, and fabrics rather than assuming that every attractive dress will be attractive on your particular body.

And remember alterations. Taking in a waist or adjusting a hem can make an ordinary garment look as though someone designed it with you in mind.

Check the whole picture

Use a full-length mirror and look from the front, side, and back. Take a few photographs at a natural camera height. Then sit down and walk around.

Does the skirt hang smoothly? Does the waistband stay put? Do the proportions still work when you move?

A feminine figure needs to accompany you through your day, not merely pose for a photograph.

The best approach is to make a few thoughtful adjustments and let them work together. You may discover that you need less bust, less padding, or less compression than you imagined.

Build a silhouette that suits your frame, dress it well, and give yourself room to enjoy wearing it. Your figure does not have to be perfect for your outfit to be fabulous.

Boris Karloff femulating on television’s The Girl From U.N.C.L.E.

Wearing Boston Proper

Stuff 138: Local Support

By JJ Atwell

I Need…

Do you ever wonder how welcoming certain establishments are to crossdressers? Perhaps you need makeup but aren’t sure where to shop. Maybe you’re looking for lingerie or thinking about buying a wig.

You could certainly order many of these things online. That’s an easy solution if you aren’t comfortable being out in public as your girl self. But what if you want to visit a local store en femme and get personalized help finding exactly the right item? Some purchases benefit from a personal touch—or the chance to try something on and see how it looks.

How do you find stores that have experience serving crossdressers and would welcome the chance to help you find the outfit of your dreams?

Sharing

If you belong to a local CD group, start by asking other members about their experiences with retailers. With luck, someone can point you in the right direction.

In addition to sharing recommendations by word of mouth, our group maintains a resources section in our monthly newsletter. It lists businesses and service providers our members have used, with categories for wigs, restaurants and personal services such as counseling and makeup application. All recommendations are based on members’ actual experiences.

We also list upcoming events, both local and national, for anyone looking for more opportunities to get out of the house.

Where to Go

If you don’t have access to that kind of resource, you’ll need to do a little searching. Fortunately, the Internet makes that fairly easy.

Looking for a restaurant to visit as your girl self? Start with establishments that advertise as LGBTQ-friendly. LGBTQ publications and newsletters can also be useful sources of information. If you keep a separate femme email address, you can use it to subscribe.

I’ve found Watermark Out News helpful for keeping up with local and national happenings. I receive its electronic newsletter each week. You can find it at watermarkoutnews.com.

Once you’ve narrowed your choices, consider calling ahead. You can ask whether the staff has experience assisting crossdressers without giving your name or other identifying details. If you’ll need personalized help, ask whether there’s a quieter time when someone can give you more attention.

A little research can go a long way toward making your outing more comfortable—and more enjoyable.

I’ll Be Back

I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more Stuff, so let me know what you’d like to read about.

Bill Kaulitz

Dress Says Lady. Manspreading Says Otherwise.

You have selected a flattering dress, blended your makeup, styled your wig and found earrings that pull everything together. Then you sit down, spread your knees and plant your feet as though you are guarding a parking space.

Sometimes, the little habits need as much attention as the clothes.

There is no single way women sit, walk or talk. Women manspread, men cross their legs, and nobody needs to impersonate a 1950s finishing-school graduate. But if your goal is a feminine presentation, familiar masculine habits can work against the overall impression you have carefully created.

The answer is practice—and a little awareness.

Start with the knees

Manspreading is an easy habit to overlook because you may have been sitting that way for decades. Put on a short skirt, however, and that comfortable position becomes a wardrobe problem as well as a presentation issue.

Try sitting with your knees comfortably close together and your feet beneath them. You can also cross your legs at the knees or keep your knees together and cross your ankles. Choose a position that suits your body, clothing and mobility. A tight, uncomfortable pose will hardly make you look relaxed.

Practice getting into and out of a chair, too. Smooth your skirt as you sit, lower yourself with control and check where the hem lands. When standing, place your feet where they give you a stable base.

Grace begins with staying upright.

Give the shoulders a day off

Some of us carry ourselves as though we are about to move a refrigerator: shoulders raised, chest thrust forward and arms held away from the body.

Let your shoulders relax. Allow your arms to hang naturally. Keep your head comfortably upright.

You do not need to make yourself tiny, and tall readers need not fold themselves in half. Good posture looks better than an apologetic slouch.

Retire the parade-ground stride

A long, forceful stride may be perfectly comfortable in trousers and walking shoes. In a pencil skirt and heels, it can become an argument between your habits and your wardrobe.

Take slightly shorter steps. Let the skirt and shoes help determine your pace. Look ahead instead of watching every footfall, and give yourself time to turn.

Avoid adding a theatrical hip swing. Comfortable movement is more convincing than choreography.

If the shoes make every step a struggle, change the shoes. You have an outing to enjoy.

Remember what you are wearing

A skirt requires different attention from a pair of jeans. Bending straight over, climbing out of a car or reaching for something on the floor can reveal more than you intended.

Practice those ordinary movements at home. Try sitting in your actual outfit, picking up your handbag and reaching for a low shelf. Use a mirror to see what happens to your neckline and hem.

When getting out of a car, turning toward the door and bringing your legs around together may help you manage your skirt. Use whatever support you need, and put balance ahead of appearances.

The goal is to become familiar enough with your clothes that you can stop worrying about them.

Watch the hands

You may remember your lipstick while forgetting the hand parked inside your waistband.

Pocket rummaging, scratching, tugging at foundation garments and repeatedly adjusting a bra can distract from an otherwise polished appearance. If something needs fixing, excuse yourself and take care of it privately.

Give your hands something ordinary to do: hold your bag, rest them in your lap or gesture naturally while speaking. There is no need for fluttering fingers or a permanently bent wrist.

Listen to the whole conversation

Voice involves more than pitch. Volume, pace, resonance and conversational habits all contribute to how you are perceived.

You need not force a high voice. Speak at a comfortable pitch, avoid straining and listen to a recording of yourself if you want to hear what others hear.

Also notice whether nerves make you talk too loudly, rush your words or interrupt. Those habits are hardly exclusive to men, but they can interfere with the relaxed impression you want to make.

A feminine presentation does not require you to become timid. You can be direct, confident and courteous in the same sentence.

Stop checking yourself every thirty seconds

Tug the wig. Pull down the skirt. Check the bust. Touch the earrings. Repeat.

Many of these movements begin as attempts to improve our appearance. Repeated constantly, they advertise our discomfort.

Before leaving home, sit, walk, bend and reach in your outfit. Resolve the slipping strap or wandering wig before it becomes your afternoon’s main activity.

Once you are out, allow yourself to be interested in something besides your own presentation. Read the menu. Browse the dresses. Listen to your companion.

You went out to experience the world.

Practice the ordinary things

The most useful rehearsal may involve sitting on the sofa, answering the door, carrying a shopping bag or retrieving your keys.

Try recording a short video of yourself doing those things. A still photograph shows the outfit; a video shows the habits. Pick one thing to work on rather than compiling a list of everything you dislike about yourself.

Perhaps this week you practice sitting comfortably in a skirt. Next week, you work on relaxing your shoulders.

And remember: none of these habits makes you a failure. Women come in every size, with every kind of voice, posture and mannerism. You are aiming for a presentation that feels natural to you, not a flawless performance of womanhood.

The clothes may be ready for their public debut. Give your everyday habits a little rehearsal, too.

Especially those knees.

John Carroll Lynch femulating on television's The Drew Carey Show.

Men in Dresses Funnies