Sunday, September 29, 2019

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Mom would have been 100 years old today. 

She raised my sister and I in the 1950s, while my Dad worked two jobs to finance our raising. With my male role model out of the picture (or out of focus) most of the time, Mom became my role model and as a result, instead of raising a son and a daughter, she raised two daughters.

The older daughter (me) was her favorite and received more attention; I was babied, pampered and spoiled, whereas my sister often had to fend for herself. As a result, growing up under Mom's tutelage, I turned out to be very feminine and learned to act like the lady she was.

A lot of us femulate our mothers to some degree. I, for one, favor styles that my mother would wear. 
For example, Mom loved high heels, always wore them when she went out and she owned a closet full. Like mother, like daughter, I love high heels, always wear them when I go out and I own a closet full, too.

I resemble my Mom’s side of the family, too, and I look just like her. (My sister recently remarked how much I resemble Mom. Interestingly, my sister has never seen me in girl mode and she was looking at a boy mode photo when she made that comment.) 

And my resemblance to Mom went beyond facial features. She had shapely legs. When she worked in an office before she married, her nickname was "Legs." Again like mother, like daughter, I inherited Mom's legs and a transman once dubbed me "Leggy.” 

I love being my mother's daughter and I guess I have become my mother in many ways.

Source: Intermix
Wearing Max Mara coat, Nanushka dress and Zimmermann booties

Pavel Arambula
Professional femulator Pavel Arambula


  1. Stana, I am convinced I got my feminine style from my Mom. Like your Mom, she loved high-heels. I actually think she was the epitome of a "girly" girl, preferring very feminine attire, just like me. I always imagine that if she knew about my feminine side, she'd be proud to have me as her daughter.

    1. I think my Mom knew what was going on, but waited for her daughter to open up about it with her. Regretfully, I never did.

  2. Oddly enough my mother was the exact opposite way--always jeans and T-shirts. The only time I saw her in a dress was my sister's wedding. But she's also a pack rat, so I had plenty of dresses and hosiery lying around the house. I wonder if that's what got me started into crossdressing.

  3. My mother was also roll model for me I always wanted to dress up like her and till to day I am 75 her picture remains in my mind and wanted to look like that

  4. I'm sure we all took after out mothers in many ways. My mother curled her hair in the 1950-1960's style and I follow that model. She always wore dresses with a slip and I do the same. Mom loved her polka dots, as do I, though I'm not so sure how she'd regard my newest dress with very large polka dots. I buy my dresses while she was a master seamstress and made most of hers. While I don't think I've become my mother, I most certainly follow her style.

    I find it interesting that we look at "becoming out mother" as a good thing. Our female siblings, on the other hand, look at that and cringe. "Oh no, I'm becoming my mother".

    1. Excellent point about “becoming my mother.” I hear that from my sister all the time. (She also has remarked that I look just like my mother even though she has never seen my emulation.)

  5. I regret that I never shared Julie with my mother. There was one instance when she thought I was into her clothes and she became rather upset about it, so I never felt comfortable in bringing up the topic after that. As to how we get started on this Pink Path, I was second child, second son, and I know my mother REALLY wanted a daughter. I speculate that she may have treated me as such early on, and when the possibility arose of her potentially "messing me up" as a result of her actions -- But again, this is all speculation.

    1. Same regrets here. I am sure my Mom knew I was wearing her clothes, but she never confronted me about it. In retrospect, I think she would have supported me, but she was waiting for me to tell her what was going on. I was scared to do so, so what we had was a Mexican stand-off.

  6. I too have a strong facial resemblance to my mother.
    I have been considering whether or not to bring her portrait to our TG-CD support group meeting.
    We shared other traits, some good, some not so much....

  7. When I've shared photos depicting Heather's visits to work, the most common remark from people who've known my parents and sister is that Heather is my sister's sister. My Mom rarely "dressed up." I grew up in a small Western Mass town. Dad worked in factories through most of his career, Mom was the one who did most of the basic household tasks such as maintaining the yard. There is no need to dress up in heels and a dress to mow a quarter acre. When Mom dressed up, I don't ever remember her wearing make-up aside from lipstick and perfume (Charlie was her favorite scent.) That said, I think I look more like my Dad.

  8. AnonymousMay 06, 2020

    Stana, I think you are right that we in some ways become our mother or at least there is a huge influence.

    For me in particular, my mother always wore slips under her skirts. This was the 80's. And slips were a big influence for me. And now, of course I always wear a slip under a skirt or dress in the same way.