I have written about passing a few times during the life of this blog and in July 2009, I wrote the following on the topic:
This morning, I read a message thread on a trans message board which touched upon the subject of passing. One writer opined that trans people put too much emphasis on passing... that passing is not important... that acceptance is more important than passing... yadda yadda yadda.
I'm sure you have heard these arguments before (and I know I touched upon them here in the past).
Note: I am now putting on devil's advocate hat.
I think that some trans people use the argument (that passing is not important) as a cop-out because for whatever reason, they do not pass.
In addition to being an excuse, it is also a put-down of trans people who do pass, i.e, yes, they pass, but what they are doing is not important, so they are just wasting their time.
I resent that!
I take a lot of pride in my presentation and I admit that it takes some time and effort to get the results I want, but I feel that it is worth it because:
* I pass some of the time, which is a wonderful affirmation of my hard work.
* When I don't pass, at least I don't look like a caricature of a woman. Rather, I look like I am trying my best to emulate a woman and I believe that fosters acceptance.
My opinion on passing has not changed much since 2009.
I prefer passing to not passing, but it does not ruin my day if I don't pass. Yet, I still take pride in my presentation, work hard at it and hope that I will pass.
When I go out, I assume I will pass because:
- I usually do pass or
- I am invisible, that is, I am an old lady, so no one pays much attention to me, which is as good as passing. Since I don't see any reaction, I am clueless about what others are thinking, so I assume I pass.
If I don't pass, usually the person who sees through my presentation does not react in a outrageously negative manner and I can live with that. And persons who have reacted outrageously have been so rare that I don't worry about it.
As a result, I am so confident as I head out the door in my female finery that passing is not a concern. It is not something I worry about as I go about my day as a woman. And if I receive an indication that I definitely passed, I cherish the moment and use it as a confidence builder.
And so it goes.
Claimed to be father and son femulators.