Saturday, July 14, 2012

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say

How do you respond to a compliment? With a gracious thank-you or with a self-deprecating remark?

I am so guilty of the latter, whereas I know I should just smile and accept the kind words.

Image consultant Ginger Burr addresses this very matter in her recent blog post "Watch Your Language."

I read it, I get it and from now on, you will hear nothing but thank-you's from me.


  1. Thank Stana,
    I so agree! My mom taught me a long time ago that the politest way to answer a compliment is with a smile and a thank you, as less then this offers only insult to the gesture.

    We often don't realize that if we don't accept a compliment with that certain grace and charm, we are telling the person their opinion matters little and their observations are not accurate. besides, if far more effeminate to be humble, graceful and charming! :)

  2. I learned long ago to simply smile and say "thank you" for what-ever compliment I got, no matter the why!

    It's a fact, you simply attract more bee's with honey than with vinegar!

    Good to know you're on board, Stana!

  3. I think I put myself down when I received a compliment because I was embarrassed by it. My self-inflicted put-down was my way of relieving some of the embarrassment.

  4. Dear Stana, Billie, and Joan,

    I agree with each of your posts on this topic. I often felt embarrassed or unworthy of compliments, and like Stana, used to respond with a self-inflicted put-down. I am an experienced (yet non-professional) singer (piano bars, open mic's, etc.). Until I learned the gracious way of just saying "Thank You" to a compliment about my singing, I would often point out mistakes that I made in my performance. I thought I was being honest and humble. A very good friend pointed out that, although I didn't intend it, I was actually insulting and disrespecting the compliment-giver. Ever since then, even if I am not pleased with mistakes in my performances, I just smile when given a compliment and say "Thank You, it was very kind of you to tell me that you enjoyed my song(s)". I keep my thoughts of my own inadequacies and disappointments in my performances in my own head, and have learned to humbly accept and appreciate compliments.



  5. Stana, I used to do the same thing! I thought it was embarrassing to be looked at by a man and be told I made a pretty woman! I got over it! lmao!

  6. It is the gracious and feminine thing to do to smile and acknowledge a compliment.

    I would even spread the 'Karma' a bit further by adding to the 'thank you' a comment along the line of:
    "That was nice/sweet/pleasant of you to say that...I appreciate you saying that". You have now told the commenter that he/she is a nice/sweet/pleasant person and that you are grateful that he/she made you feel good.

    Smile ~ it increases your face value. Good form and manners never go out of style.