Four Days Without a Safety Net

Reading Missy’s account of her trip to New York City brought back memories of my own unforgettable adventure in the Big Apple.

For over four days, I was en femme in New York City attending workshops, shopping, clubbing, dining, and sightseeing — all without a safety net.

I was not attending a trans event in NYC, where there might be some built-in protection, illusory or otherwise. Rather, I was completely out of the closet, just another out-of-towner visiting The City.

It was a big test for me: a test to find out whether I could live as a woman in the real world. And I passed that test in more ways than one.

I interacted with the civilian population without giving much thought to my female appearance. I was not walking around Manhattan thinking, “I’m a guy dressed as a gal — how is the public going to react?” Instead, I was completely comfortable in my own skin. As a result, civilians treated me as a real person, not as a sideshow freak.

I also had no fear about coming out to the other people attending my workshop. I might be able to fool some of the people some of the time, but in that workshop, I would be interacting face-to-face with about 20 people for hours on end over a four-day period. There was no way I could fool them in that scenario.

So it made sense to come out and make everybody more comfortable with the unusual person in their midst. My honesty resulted in more respect from my peers, and it made me feel more comfortable, too, because now I could simply be myself.

It also felt wonderful to pass as often as I did. The “ma’am,” “hon,” and even “dyke” comments sent my way attested to my ability to pass some of the time.

And you know you’re onto something when a squad car full of NYC police officers checks you out as you cross Sixth Avenue in Times Square wearing a dress and heels!

Wearing Boston Proper

Christer Lindarw, Swedish professional femulator