Another Prom En Femme

By Missy

It’s prom season again! That means another opportunity to joyfully celebrate the end of the year with my students as I have done for the past 25 years.

For the past two years, I presented as Missy at our school’s prom (synopses of both the 2023 and 2024 proms can be found in Stana’s archives), but this year felt different because I somehow wasn’t as nervous beforehand. 

In 2023, I asked permission in advance because those waters were uncharted. Last year, I was reassured by my Head of School that there were no issues whatsoever and I was fully supported. Thus, because of my last two prom experiences, everything just seemed normal this year, so the subject wasn’t even broached in advance, at least not by my colleagues and higher-ups. All they asked was whether or not I was going to chaperone again and that was an easy affirmative response.

My students, however? They wanted to know a bit more. Many of them with whom I had been at prom last year, chatted me up during the weeks leading up to the event in a curious but very down-to-earth and comfortable way, which was quite affirming. Their questions and my answers included:

-- Did I pick out my dress yet? (The answer was, “Yes, but I am still weighing a couple of options because the weather will make a difference.”)

-- How long did it take me to get ready? (“Shaving takes the most time, but I can do my makeup to my liking in about 30 minutes.”)

-- Does your wife help with your makeup? (“No, but she gives me feedback and will usually paint my nails if I ask.”)

-- Have you always done this at prom? (“No, only for the past two years after having some discussions with my non-binary daughter about the importance of being one’s self and trying to be a role model for students who need someone in their corner. But I wish I had done it sooner!”)

There was no “shock and awe” from any students as we conversed, regardless of how they felt, which makes me think that the conversations over the past couple of years have been helpful with regard to tone-setting and acceptance. I believe most of my students are able to see that teaching is just one side of me; being a husband and father is another and being Missy is simply a different side. 

The day before prom, two of my students fanned their newly manicured French tip nails at me after class and asked, “Do you like our nails? Our whole friend group got them done the same way.” 

I told them sincerely I thought their nails were gorgeous and said, “Maybe I will join you!” 

They laughed and left the room, but I thought to myself, “Hmmmm ... maybe?” 

I paint my nails regularly, but I’m not ready for a real manicure (yet?). Later that day, though, I stopped by CVS and picked up a set up press-on nails that use adhesive rather than glue. I don’t have extraordinarily large hands, so they fit really well, and I absolutely loved the result!

The past two years, I was able to drive home immediately after school and get myself ready with plenty of time to spare. This year, though, some additional meetings were scheduled at the end of the school day, so I needed to pack everything I needed to transform into Missy into a duffel bag and work my magic at school. I shaved during a free period and after the meetings were done, commandeered the faculty restroom for that aforementioned half hour or so. 

Aside from the cleaning crew who did a few double-takes as I left the restroom, that area of the building was pretty empty, so I simply applied my nails in a vacant classroom, high-heeled it to my car and drove off to prom. Here’s the full fit.

I arrived at the same time as many of the students and their parents and just blended into the crowd as much as possible. Students simply said hello, parents greeted me (if they recognized me, which I found out later was about half the time), a few of the girls and I complimented each other’s outfits and I settled into my chaperone role. As usual, this consisted of checking in students at the main gate, mingling, eating, dancing and keeping an eye on everything to prevent shenanigans. And also, as usual, there were no such shenanigans, so I just spent most of my time just talking with students and colleagues (and inadvertently aerating much of the lawn with my heels).

I’d like to say there was a huge climactic moment, but nope. Once again, the whole night was blissfully uneventful and no different from any of the previous proms. I was thanked by a few students and colleagues for making a positive difference and that made Missy’s appearance a win-win for me and for our community. Moreover, after receiving prom photos, my daughter immediately texted me, “You’re amazing and I love you so much. So glad you’re my dad ❤️❤️❤️.” 

So how could there be any doubt that this was the right thing to do? That’s the best way to end this story, methinks. It was another fantastic night of being me and I remain grateful for working at a school that “walks the walk” as much as it can. 

I’ll have Prom 2026 in the back of my mind as the upcoming year unwinds and if anything else Missy-related unfolds, I’ll check in with Stana and hopefully get the “pinch hitting writer green light” one more time.

Thanks for taking the time to read. – Missy

Wearing Boston Proper

Augusto Schuster femulates Adele on Argentinian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.