Thursday, February 15, 2024

Fathers and Sons

When we were pregnant, I hoped our child would be female because I thought that since I was a feminine male, I would be a poor role model if our child was male.

As it turned out, our child was female, which was a big relief. (She also turned out to be my biggest supporter.)

If our child was male, I am sure that having a feminine father would have some effect on his life. How much of an effect, I’ll never know.

Would having a father who had feminine mannerisms cause the boy to have feminine mannerisms?

Are (my) feminine mannerisms natural or nurtured?

My father was not feminine, but he was not around much during my early years. However, my mother was very present during those years and if I was going to take after anyone, it seems that I would take after the parent who was present, not absent.

My theoretical son would have a double whammy – both his parents were feminine, so if nurturing was the source of femininity, then my son would potentially be even more feminine than I am.

Feminine mannerisms are one thing, but what would be the effect of having a father who was feminine and who also presented as a woman at the drop of a chapeau?

Goddess only knows.

And if my son turned out to be feminine – like father, like son – would it be the end of the world?

You girls out there who have sons are better able to answer these questions than I. So please have at it by leaving Comments to this post.

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper

Dave Foley


  1. Yes, I definitely have feminine traits and even a feminine figure with a curvy butt and a noticeable bust. And I like to get dolled up wearing dresses, heels, and painted nails. One thing that is not feminine - my voice. I sing second bass in my church choir, ranging down to C2, two ledger lines below the bass staff.

  2. I was in the same situation when our child was born. I have never been a "manly man" - didn't like sports, fixing things, etc. (interestingly, I married a woman who IS into that stuff) Being an actor by trade, I have done my share of drag roles on stage and our son has not only seen me all dolled up, but even worked backstage on one of the shows. However, he doesn't know about Julie -- well, let's say we've never TOLD him about Julie, whether he KNOWS or not I can't say for sure. But since I do not present with feminine manerisms and gestures in my Male Mode, I don't think it's been a concern. At 21 he is also very involved in theater and has quite a few LGBT friends, so I don't know how he'd respond to Julie. As I've shared before, my wife knows all about Julie but prefers not to participate. She also has nixed my telling our son.

    1. Even though I a feminine male I was and am the go to man to fix things around the house. When I was living with my parents I was the one to fix things, and now that I live in my own house I still fix things such a replacing shingles on a roof, replacing a gas water heater thermostat, performing electrical work, and putting down wood flooring.
      I do not have a female persona - I always go by the name of John.
      My dad was not a manly man as there was a time he bleached his hair to be blond. And I have only one mode - a John mode.

  3. I have four (4) beautiful, supportive daughters. Although a good father, I believe they recognized my feminine nature. I am not sure how a son would have turned out. it is interesting that they were all taught that their gender was not to be a barrier. All were elite athletes, intelligent, and now successful.

  4. Stana, like you, I have a daughter, and when my wife was expecting, many assumed I wanted a boy. However, I believed having a girl would be wonderful, and raising her has been an incredible experience. I often ponder if having a son might have led to a different path, and I personally think that being transgender could have a genetic predisposition. Growing up in a dysfunctional household with heavy drinking, I lacked positive role models. My journey towards embracing femininity might be linked to finding comfort and peace. I propose a hypothesis: 50% genetic predisposition influences personalities, sexualities, and gender identification, while the other 50% stems from environmental factors. This theory aligns with my observations, but individual experiences may vary. Paula G

  5. maybe it's not masculine/feminine, but kids do not always take after their parents - known some real jerks with great kids, and vice versa

  6. Many years ago I encountered a couple at a Tri-Ess meeting in Pennsylvania. The wife went to a number of Tri-Ess and Renaissance meetings to find a husband. No question what she was looking for. A couple of years later I was at a Tri-Ess picnic, also in PA, that was well attended. I saw that couple again, this time with their "tween" son. It's hard to imagine he could have been any prettier. I didn't spend enough time around them to get a feel for whether the son was dressing because he wanted to do it or because he was given no choice. Knowing his mother, I assumed it was the latter. But.... you know what happens when you ass/u/me.

  7. As the father of two grown sons I am very proud of how they have turned out. Hopefully I had a little bit to do with that. I was a stay at home dad who had some male friends (?) question if that was the manly thing to do. Fatherhood is about love and support regardless if you have a son or a daughter, so if your daughter became a success and loves you, if you had a son he would have turned out just as well because YOU have given so much support to others as been a guiding "father" as well as a guiding "mother" to so many of your readers.

  8. tammilee.tillison@gmail.comFebruary 15, 2024

    Having a female father and mother would be a blessing for a son. It would be a gift from the goddesses and he would certainly copy the examples and be very happy with his femininity.

  9. Believe Me Stana , if you had a Son , it would have been a Nightmare for him and not a very happy life for you !
    𝒱𝑒𝓇𝒶 𝒬

  10. I'm a father with three sons only. I wanted a girl but no such luck. I've crossdressed since I can remember, maybe 5. I was bullied badly in school, and wanted to make sure my sons were not. We read every night with minimum of tv to an 1 hour each night. All of them became successful, with 2 doctors and an engineer. I have never told them about my hobby, but I think they may know. Obviously I'm not the best to explain how a relationship should be as I didn't want my sons to go through the hardships I had in trying to be masculine through high school and the military. As I've gotten older, my dressing has increased and I'm afraid to come out to them, in an attempt to not embarrass them. They have beautiful wives, and have many girls working in their offices, who also know me as the fix it guy.

  11. When I was a teenager, my mom told me that she found a bag of women's underwear and bras in my younger brother's room. She said it without judgement and I've often wondered if she was trying to let me know she knew about the pantyhose I had hidden in my room (or had found out I was wearing hers) and wanted to let me know it was ok.

    But I've always also wondered if crossdressing was "genetic". I've long wondered if my brother and my CDing was a result of nature or nurture. I'm curious if anyone else has brothers that also like to femulate.