With me the answer is yes and no. I’ve told this story here before, so here is the short version.
About 6 to 9 years old, I wanted to be a clown and smeared my face with cold cream to simulate a clown’s white face. My mother saw the mess and volunteered to do better, but she misinterpreted what I was trying to do thinking I wanted a girl’s face. So she made me up and when I saw her handiwork in the mirror, I was horrified. To preserve my “masculine” persona, I insisted that she remove the makeup rather than going to my sister’s bedroom to find a dress to wear.
Dressing me as a girl never happened again, although I found out later that my mother knew that I was crossdressing and I am sure that if I asked, she would have helped me.
If I had accepted my mother’s invitation and gone to my sister’s bedroom to find a dress to wear, I wonder how that might have changed my life. Would girl-time be a regular occurrence (rather than sneakily dressing en femme when I was home alone)? Would my mother’s support have accelerated my acceptance of who I really am?
I don't know, but I would love to hear your stories if your mother dressed you en femme when you were a youngster. How did it affect you? Did it make a difference? Inquiring minds want to know, so write in the comments below or e-mail me to share your story.
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| Wearing Bebe |
-%20fim%20Fr%20-19822023-12-26%20at%2011.23.38%E2%80%AFAM.png "Christian Clavier femulating in the French film Santa Claus Is A Stinker.") |
| Christian Clavier femulating in the French film Santa Claus Is A Stinker. |
No , Mom never did, But my dad threatened to buy me a dress to humiliate me because of being a worrying and sensitive boy , But now I don't own any dress but do Crave owning and wearing dresses and heels etc. 𝒱
ReplyDeleteI don't remember exactly how it began, but when I was very small I'd play dress up with my sisters. Mom must have known we were playing, but one day she laughed when she saw us and said, 'girls, let's really get Michael dressed up and see how pretty he can be."
ReplyDeleteMy sisters laughed, but mom pulled out one of my sister's nice party dresses with a petticoat, white anklets, and black Maryjane shoes. She put a little hat on me to hide my short hair and said, "now you're a girl."
My sisters loved it and so did I. After that day mom encouraged me on a number of times to put on my sister's clothes. She appeared to enjoy it and encouraged me to be a gypsie girl for Halloween the next fall.
I was a girl for several Halloweens opting to go for a pretty girl outfit rather than a character. Suddenly in 8th grade I lost my desire to be a girl for Halloween. I still wanted to wear dresses, but as I found myself attracted to girls, I did not want to be seen as a girl and my dressing up returned to the underground.
That photo at the top could have been me in 7th grade when I wore a dress like that for Halloween. How I loved that dress. Mom would have been adjusting a wig, but she would not have been in such a sexy outfit.
I had a similar experience with my Mom. Once, while dressing me as a scarecrow for Halloween, she wanted to add rosy cheeks with lipstick. I resisted and protested. Why? Because, somewhere along the way, I internalized the idea that feminine attributes were unacceptable for boys.
ReplyDeleteBut, like you, I can't help but wonder "what if?". Listening to your stories, it seems like your Mom might have known and wanted to support you in some way. For example, when you mentioned your Mom drawing the conclusion that you wanted to dress like a girl from the cold cream incident, I found myself confused. That connection isn't entirely clear, is it? So might she have seen, heard, or notice something else that aided in her conclusion? Paula G
I was born only a few weeks after my cousin Cindy . For various reasons ( mostly old Polish traditions and such - no ultrasounds back then ! ), my mother expected to have a daughter, and anticipated being able to dress me in frilly, girly clothes like her sister did with my cousin . The obvious solution was that my Mom borrowed some of my cousin's clothes for me to wear during the day when our fathers were at work.
ReplyDeleteI have no actual memories of this - it stopped when I was 3 or 4, when my aunt moved away - but I wonder if the wearing of feminine finery was imprinted on mu subconscious from infancy .
Ironically, my Mom would have had no tolerance for my desire to dress en femme when I got a bit older !
I don't know if I can say a flat yes to the question, but in all honesty I can't give you a firm no either. One day when I was around 12, it probably was on a weekend she and I were home and my father was out of the house for a large part of the day. We were just talking about nothing particular and for some reason I swerved into the subject of women's clothes. I asked her something along the line... "isn't wearing dresses boring?" She said of course not, there are so many styles, full skirts, straight skirts, sheath dresses and then you also have separate skirts and blouses. Women also have a lot more color choice, never boring. A little more back and forth ensued when I said to her... "what's it like wearing a dress?" Without any hesitation she said try one on. To this day I wish I could know what here inner thoughts were.
ReplyDeleteI really don't recall if I went and picked one out or whether she went with me, but it was a fairly plain shirtwaist dress, nothing frilly, she really didn't do frilly anyway and no undergarments to complete the outfit! She was very noncommittal about everything that was going on, certainly no oh, you look cute, silly or anything else. She just went back to whatever she was doing before we started the conversation. I walked around the house, looked out various windows, tried to pick up something to read but I was more interested in trying to absorb what it was like to actually be in a dress. Up until this time I really had not spent any time actually thinking about actually wearing girls clothing, but I always was fascinated by their clothing and really wondering what it would be like dressed like that. So I guess there was some underlying desire that would lead me down this road.
After a little time had passed and not finding anything else to pass the time I went back to my Mom and asked her do you think Dad will like it. She said probably not, but did not elaborate any further. I don't know what answer I wast expecting, but that wasn't it. I stayed dressed for a little while longer and then hung the dress back up and put the regular old stuff back on. My Dad and were not that close, but it never was a strained relationship and I guess I sensed there would be some disappointment in me if he were to return home and see me in a dress. Suppose I did not want Dad to not approve.
Really did not have very many other opportunities to act on my desires until after I left home and went to work. Even at that point it was just a small episode here and there, but every time it was always just a little further dressed than the last time. Incrementalism at its best.
I got into my mother's things a few times when I was around 7 or 8. To the best of my knowledge, my mother never knew. I grew up essentially as an only child since my sisters were 18 and 21 when I was born.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was in the hospital and very close to death. I was holding her hand and she said "You have always been my favorite". The last thing she said to me came as a big shock and I have wondered for the last 40 years what it meant. I never found out because she died very shortly after. She said "I never dressed you up as a girl".
I was raised in the 1950's so the days of routinely dressing infant boys in dresses had mostly passed. My sisters were grown and married so there were no clothes to hand down. I suppose I will never know the meaning of her last words.
Once when I was in elementary school, my mom had me put on a top she was making for my sister. It had poofy shoulders. She was inserting pins, etc. to make some adjustments. My uncle and cousin were there and they laughed and made a couple remarks. I was humiliated.
ReplyDeleteAnother time, in my 20's, I was asked to dress as a woman for an event. My mother helped me with my costume. She put padding into a bra and added an extension to the clasp to that it would fit around me. I tried on some of her clothes. At one point, I was wearing pantyhose and a skirt in front of my mother. She laughed briefly and then we kept working. That is one of my favorite crossdressing moments. I even walked around the house in shorts and nude pantyhose and sat watching television briefly.
When I was in high school, my mom came to me in confidence carrying a bag she found in my younger brother's room that contained a dress, bra, and panties. She asked if I knew anything about it and lovingly said that we should feel free to discuss anything with her. I've often wondered if she was aware of my crossdressing (I'm sure I was not as careful at returning her pantyhose as I thought I was) and this was her way of letting me know I could discuss it with her.
ReplyDeleteSo wish I didn’t have to use anonymous but I have to be discreet.
ReplyDeleteAs early as 5 I remember my mom saying that she wanted a girl when I was born and that she was so glad I looked like a cute little girl. We lived in a one room apartment above a garage since my parents weee saving to buy a house. There was only a sheet hanging on a rope giving my parents privacy so I often got to see my mom dress for an evening out. I loved watching how she transformed from my mom into a beautiful woman. She would see me watching and invite me behind the screen to watch and help. I always got to clip her garter belt/girdle onto her stocking. I remember feeling a bit excited and wishing I could put stockings on. If I was good she would put lipstick and nail polish on and tell me what a cute little girl I was. I loved walking around like a girl while she dressed.
We soon moved into a real house. With my own bedroom. I would still peek in to watch her dress and she would always invite me in to help her if my father wasn’t home. As I got older would put lipstick and eye makeup on me along with powder and nail polish. As my feeet got bigger she taught me how to walk in heels. This continued until I was 12 or so and would always end with her telling me not to tell my father. I loved our secret dressing. When they left for the evening I would sneak into their room and out on stockings, panties and girdle from the hamper. They felt so good.
It stopped as I got older but I would still dress in get panties and slips. If she caught me me she would tell me how cute I looked then tell me to take them off and put them back. Never s holding me. I so loved those years!
Just before the start of my senior year in high school my mother was all excited to show me that the girl next door, who was leaving for college, gave my mother four prom dresses for my sister entering her freshman year of high school. My mother thought this was so nice until I reminded my mother our neighbor girl was 5'7" and my sister was barely 5'. My mother was disappointed until she got the bright idea that at 5'9" I could model the clothes for her. I was not happy about at first but gave in to her begging and agreed. First it was a girdle to keep my little manhood a bump, followed with her rolling up a pair of stockings attached to the garter straps, a half slip, and a bra that fit pretty well and then the different dresses and a pair of white low heels to complete the outfit. In all I tried on four different prom dresses. Mom thought I looked really sweet. Thank God then no pictures but now I look back almost 60 years later and wonder what those pictures might have looked like. I have always enjoyed the formal fashion look of the 1960s. And no my mom never told my date for my senior prom I might have looked as cute as her.
ReplyDeleteAngela Booth sent the following e-mail:
ReplyDeleteIn answer to the question did your mother ever dress you up is a yes from me. There were a few occasions in my childhood but this was one that I really enjoyed. I had been dressing in secret a lot at this time and there were a couple of times where mum had dressed me up, the earliest at about five years old when I had already felt ‘different’ so any opportunity was taken.
Back in the day, when I was about thirteen, each year my Dads firm had a Christmas party for the adults and they had various fun competitions, one being an open beauty competition. I recall my sister was due to do it and had changed her plans to go to a party instead and when mum was talking about it I saw an opportunity and said that I would do it ‘for a laugh’. As it was a fun night she agreed.
On the day I was a bit apprehensive but it was going to happen. My sister said she had some things for me, handed me a bag and a lovely dress telling me that mum would have to do the makeup as she wouldn’t be there to do it for me but hoped to pop in on her way to her party to see me dressed up. I looked in the bag and I was quite amazed, there were shoes, a bra, panties, yes panties, a few pairs of tights. I figured that one pair to wear and the others for padding. Later my mum said that I was to get myself dressed and when she was ready herself she would do the makeup. I went to my room and got ready, which was quite easy for me. Mum came in, swooshed my hair about, I had quite long hair as was the fashion at that time, applied the makeup then I was ready, looking and feeling wonderful. I went downstairs and did a parade to the amazement from my dad and family.
I was of course nervous as I entered the hall. Mum and dad had told a few of their friends who were nearby who were in on it and I got a lot of good comments from them about how good I looked and it was taken in good spirit. Mum confirmed the entry gave me a few tips about what I should do. My sister did pop in with her boyfriend and she said I looked so pretty. The time came for the walk to the stage, on being called forward, walked across the stage and then around the floor past the ladies that were marking the contestants. There were wolf whistles and choice comments but I did it! A short while later the results were in, I had won a prize and received five pounds, which was a good amount of money for back then.
With all the elation I needed to go to the loo and without thinking I headed for the gents. Just before I got there I heard a man’s voice,’ Hey love you’re heading for the mens, the ladies is over there’ I looked up and there was this chap pointing across. I had my first trip to the ladies that night too!
There was always a question as to whether they knew I dressed at all as my sister gave me a bag with a full outfit and mum was always keen to go the whole hog when dressing me up. Perhaps it was mums love of the theatrical but many moons later when I finally came out she and my sister swears they had no idea of what was going on!
for my entire life i have always been curious re: how things worked or why people acted a certain way including us.so==in this case why are many Moms eager to join in on dressing us as girls? Or for that matter why do many women like to participate in feminizing us? Have never seen anything on this topic-emily
ReplyDeleteCathy Peterson sent the following e-mail:
ReplyDeleteBorn in 1958 in western PA. 2 older sisters, a younger sister, our divorced mother, and we lived with our twice-divorced Aunt Catherine. Basement had2 large steamer trunks under the stairs. Mother raised during the Depression, lived thru WWII, she saved everything! One trunk had her old clothes from the '40s and '50s. The other had clothing my sisters no longer wore - panties, socks, slips, tights, cami-undershirts, swimsuits, tops, pants, and sweaters.
Next to mother's sewing table hung 3 large zippered garment bags. Two had my sisters' dresses, skirts, jumpers, blouses and several pairs of shoes in the bottom.
One vivid memory 1962. My two older sisters dressing me up exactly 3 days before my 4th birthday. I remember it like yesterday. Yellow satin panties, white stretch-lace tights, black patent-leather buckle shoes. Pink cami-undershirt, full-slip with 3 layers of lacy-ruffles from the waist to hemline. Powder blue party dress was form-fitting from waist up to shoulders and ruffle-collar with matching ruffle short sleeves. Step in, arms into sleeves, buttoned up in back, large satin bow in back.
My hair was same length as my sisters' "pixie" style so they did mine with plastic barrettes on each side and bangs in front. They did light blue nail polish and then to see our Aunt Catherine who was an enthusiastic supporter of seeing me dressed in their former clothes. She took us to her large 3-mirror vanity table and added a faux pearl necklace and faux pearl clip-on earrings. Some lipstick and finished with a few spritzes of perfume from one of her cut-glass decanters.
She held me by my shoulders, admired me, smiled and said, "You look just adorable, so are you my little Cathy?" I loved this attention and positive approval.
I stayed dressed for about an hour till mother came home from work. Her response was a ambivalence. Still dressed at the dinner table, my sisters asked our aunt if I could wear a dress for my birthday party coming up in a few days. Our aunt said "of course" while our mother was more of a "whatever".
My sisters undressed me before bed and said I could try a different dress the next day and another the day after that and then decide which to wear on my birthday.
The next day my sisters wanted to dress me up after lunch. Red satin Christmas dress, long sleeves, red tights, same black buckle shoes. I was dressed around the house for about 4 hours all afternoon till dinner. I was really into this.
Third day my sisters wanted to dress me up after breakfast. This time was the fancy white-lace first Holy Communion dress they had each worn. I wore it all day for about 10 hours till dinner and actually found myself moving slower and trying to be more graceful in this elegant lacy, taffeta, ruffled, dress.
The rest of Cathy Peterson's e-mail:
ReplyDeleteHow did it affect you? Did it make a difference? Those 3 days locked me in for a lifetime of loving to wear beautiful girl clothes. On the 3rd day I actually asked if I could go to breakfast dressed. I absolutely LOVED those clothes and all the attention I got from my sisters and out aunt. And I KNEW I felt different deep inside when dressed in such pretty things. I loved staring at myself in the mirror. I loved the feeling of the slips swishing under the dress as I walked or when I sat. On my birthday I did feel so elegant and pretty in that Holy Communion dress I'd worn the entire day before. I wanted to wear panties, tights, slips, dresses every day from then on, so it REALLY opened me up to asking my sisters if they would dress me up. MANY cold snowy winter days - especially weekends - spent in all kinds of panties, tights, slips, dresses.
This carried into wearing my sisters' old pink flannel nightgown with fuzzy slippers, sitting with my 3 sisters watching TV eating popcorn with panties and a cami-shirt underneath. And I got to sleep in those too. I wanted to act very girly to get more of our aunt's approval. Even our indifferent mother said she liked that I was not "so wild" or "out of control" or "loud" when I was dressed up with my sisters. I wanted to be dressed up every opportunity I could, and I definitely was. It absolutely made a HUGE difference to have my dressing as a girl happen with my 3 sisters and our aunt's approval (and even our mother's passive allowance).
Hi I’m Joanie and my mom introduced me to my feminine side when I was 7. She had me doing her laundry which included ironing her lingerie and nightgowns. She would take me to her gfs houses and they would let me play dress up in her friends bedroom. She would also take me shopping at lingerie boutiques and always asked if I liked what she was buying. Little did I know she she was buying panties garter belts nylon stockings bras nightgowns heels and wigs for me. She then introduced me to her boyfriend and they trained me to be a gorgeous woman
ReplyDeleteMom never dressed me up while growing up though she did help my brother one Halloween. No, he does not share the proclivity with me. He's pretty much a run of the mill rocket scientist. However, after he got home that night I stole the pantyhose out of his purse. I admitted this to him years later and he said he always wondered what had happened to them.
ReplyDeleteLater on as an adult Mom would give me her old dresses sometimes. I had come out to her at around 21 years old.
Thanks to all for sharing so many amazing stories of approving moms, sisters and aunts! I enjoyed reading them several times! I had none of those possibilities. I am enjoying just being so happy for all of you and maybe a little jealous of your pleasures. :)
ReplyDeleteMy mom got the idea to dress me up for Halloween when I was 11 as a girl. I have two younger brothers & she has mentioned wishing she had a daughter. We lived in a small town, it was the 80s where anyone who was different was bullied a lot. A couple of weeks before Halloween she had me wear a frilly white dress and long white gloves, a dark wig that was close to my natural hair colour & she applied lipstick on me. Inwardly I was thrilled but outwardly I protested that this was too much, I was worried about being bullied after Halloween for this. She relented and instead made me a boring skeleton costume for me to wear instead. But she at the same time she hung some of her spare dresses in my bedroom closet and over the years that followed I tried them on in secret and usually with that same wig. I never worked up the nerve to tell or show anyone and I don’t think my mom knew. Unless maybe she deep down knew and had put those dresses tin bedroom closet on purpose?
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous. I had a very similar experience when I was a child. I was around eleven and out of nowhere mom pushed the idea that I let her dress me up as a girl for my halloween costume. I had mixed feelings too. I wanted to be a girl for my costume, but I was afraid of being teased.
DeleteHowever, mom got her way. Our school had a Halloween parade and we were suppose to wear our costumes all day. I went to school wearing a cousin's plaid pinafore dress, petticoat, and tights. Boys teased me which made me ask mom if for trick and treating I could change and wear a boy's costume once I'd gotten home. Mom let me.
However, my mother also stored some of her old clothes in my bedroom including some of her old lingerie. As a teen I'd often dress up in her pretty dresses.
Years later I dressed up as a woman for a Halloween party. I loved it.
LeAnne
when i went to school at age 5 in england i remember going to the toilet with the other boy pulling down my shorts to pee in the uneral and listening to a lot of the other boys saying your wearing girls underware not understanding really what they were talking about they kept saying girls underware why are you wearing them .
ReplyDeletewhen i got home that day i asked my mommy am i wearing girls underwarwe and i remember her saying well i suppose i will have to get you some boys undies. i guess that my mom must have wanted a girl. later i found out from a cousin at age 12 that my aunts had told my mother to dress me as a boy.
to this day at age 78 i still love wearing panties i am sure my mom new all the time