By Paula Gaikowski
“Yes, yes, yes,” to quote Meg Ryan in Harry Met Sally, that’s what I said when I read Stana’s post about “Why.” It really struck home. It is so true!
Our brains appear to be inherently wired to release a surge of dopamine or endorphins whenever we immerse ourselves in or identify with, femininity or womanhood.
We can all relate to that magical moment when we finally gaze into the mirror and see a woman staring back at us. Similarly the feeling of having a door opened for us or when we’re referred to as “ma’am” or “miss,” this can be an empowering experience.
When considering gender euphoria, it’s commonly associated with transgender individuals. However, it’s important to note that cisgender people also experience gender euphoria in similar ways. Women experience the same feelings that we do when they feel pretty or feminine. They too get that shot of dopamine!
I wrote an article titled “Feeling Pretty and Gender Euphoria.” It showcased responses from women who were asked about what made them feel pretty and feminine. Many women shared similar experiences, revealing that activities like putting on makeup, wearing a pretty dress, or indulging in self-care were sources of joy. These natural inclinations are often stigmatized for crossdressers or transgender individuals despite mirroring common practices embraced by women.
I’ll extend the theory to suggest that there’s a shared element in the brains of cisgender females and ours. It’s like a spot or script, that when ignited creates a desire for feminine identification and validation. Basically, both women and transgender women have a part of their brain that’s wired to be female. I call it a ”spot” or a “script.” This part pushes them to express their femininity. Transgender women and cisgender women are alike in this aspect, showing that we all share this common thread in our brains.
Alone in an empty house, we were driven down the hallway, our confusion and curiosity piqued by the allure of our mother’s stockings and our sister’s high heels.
The question is: Where does this spot come from? Why do we have it and why don’t others?
I'm a baby boomer and during those years, many women, including my 40-year-old mother, used a drug called DES (synthetic estrogen). As a fetus, I was immersed in a sea of estrogen, 1000 times the normal amount. Some transgender individuals believe this could be a cause, and I tend to think it might be for me, too. Does it really matter? Yes, no, but it’s certainly comforting to have a community where we can discuss and support each other on these topics.
The “where” and “why” of this spot in our brains can wait for another day. Right now my skirt, sweater, pantyhose, Rago lingerie and pair of cute pumps wait for me. I’m on my way to savor a day of being a girl. The tap of my heels, the makeup, the gentle nods of acknowledgment – that's my focus. No need to analyze, just relish.
As Meg Ryan would say, "Yes, yes, yes" to enjoying the simple joy of embracing my femininity. Today, the only agenda is to revel in being a girl and let the why’s fade into the background.
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| Wearing BeautBoutique |
I agree with your interpretation in part, because I have experienced myself firsthand, at age 12 while donning my sisters garter belt, panties and stockings. Total euphoria as well as my first rock hard erection. To continue many times thereafter.
ReplyDeleteWhere I disagree with your theory is that I had the same euphoric reaction as a teen when "dressing for battle " while putting on the football uniform before a game. The euphoria came complete with an erection.
I experienced the same thing, to a lesser extent when getting dressed in "black tie" in my thirties.
I also experienced it in my forties when I took up heavyweight motorcycles as a hobby and was getting dressed in full motorcycle leathers.
So how do you explain the same euphoric reaction for hyper-masculine dressing? I am not being a wise guy, as I have had the dressing euphoria both ways.
I understand what you are saying about feeling euphoric dressed both ways. Perhaps, it depends to what degree this "immersion" or in the "genetic chain" has occurred. I feel comfortable attired both ways. It took a long time to escape the societal norms and expectations that I was bucking. Yes, in my youth it was revulsion after the euphoric feelings of wearing my mother's clothing. My PTSD counselor for combat related issues is of the opinion that every man and woman has some DNA of the opposite sex in their genetic makeup; In some it is greater than others. When I was a combat infantryman in Vietnam my male DNA took over. It was survival or perish. You do what you have to do. Now, it's total comfort attired in a dress and heels doing the laundry, ironing, vacuuming, cooking, baking, etc that other men would brand me as a "sissy" or "house husband." My mother is deceased so I do not have any knowledge of her pregnancy. I would not doubt she intentionally "immersed" me in DES because her ideal family was husband and wife and son and daughter. Her first born, my brother, was to be followed by a daughter: me. However, my father's sperm did not comply.
DeleteIn my writing, I aim to convey that there's a part of our brain associated with female identity. Some individuals may exclusively have this "spot," while others may also possess a masculine area that responds to masculine behavior. This diversity contributes to the notion of gender being on a spectrum. While I can't provide a definitive answer, I can share my opinion and thoughts on the matter. Paula G
DeleteI'm a bit confused. There's a line that includes "I read Stana’s post" at the top, so I gather this was NOT written by Stana. If not, then who? Stana often doesn't sign her posts, but other people who guest-post do identify themselves.
ReplyDeleteI erred and forgot the by-line: By Paula Gaikowski
Delete"Women experience the same feelings that we do when they feel pretty or feminine. " This is 100% true .𝓋𝒬
ReplyDeleteI have only hinted to my SO about my T-girl feelings so if she finds skirts , heels , panties ,and pantyhose etc. it won't be so shocking .
𝒱𝑒𝓇𝒶 𝒬
Caught your eye on Dana Mulvaney's video? I agree, she has a captivating presence and her voice is lovely. But the controversy surrounding her Bud Light ad? That's a bit fishy. It feels like a red herring, a distraction from bigger issues.
ReplyDeleteRed Herring refers to an old hunting trick, back to the old hunting trick where a strong scent led dogs off course. That's what I see here. Politicians and influencers are using this small ad as a flashpoint, blowing it up to expand their reach. But let's be honest, most major brands - Pepsi, Coke, IBM - have advocated for LGBTQ+ rights. Even Modelo, Bud Light's rival, supports the community.
And here's the twist: while they're separate companies in the US, they're both owned by the same international parent company. So, the whole "boycott Bud Light" thing might be a bit of a puppet show.
Look, there are real problems out there. Taxes are high, corporations seem to skate by, healthcare is a mess, and climate change looms. We Americans are working harder and harder, yet struggling to make ends meet. But you know what they want us to focus on? A celebrity ad? Not on things that actually matter
Because then we might get really angry
"I'll wear what she's wearing."
ReplyDeleteCute too funny! --Paula G
DeleteMy thought exactly!
DeleteI love that cartoon figure, so well done. I remember my mother and father trying to break the security chain on the apartment door trying to get in and catch me "in the act." I escaped to dress another day!
ReplyDeleteI never dressed as a young person.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t actually don female attire until well after I came to the conclusion that I was TG. This was in my late 40s.
The first time I dressed, applied makeup, and donned a wig, I thought I might feel some sort of sexual response. I was shocked and gratified that when I looked in the mirror and saw myself— I saw MYSELF— and experienced a great endorphin high, not a sexual feeling at
All. Like a post run high after a well-executed race, I felt warm, content, and at peace.
I realized that the person looking back at me from the mirror was the person I was always meant to be.
When I put on panties, high heels, a bra and lipstick I feel immense well-being both physically and psychologically. Everything becomes delicate and graceful and meaningful in my feminine self-perception.
ReplyDeleteMy native language
Quando coloco calcinha, salto alto, sutiã e batom sinto um bem estar imenso tanto no sentido físico quanto psicológico. Tudo fica delicado e gracioso e significativo na minha autopercepção feminina.
The experience and the joy of becoming a woman, whether self perceived or as perceived by others is totally euphoric and something to be treasured and definitely preserved. It is lovely.
ReplyDeleteit truly is an amazing gift, most of the world don’t understand us and why we do what we do, but we do and it truly is special beautiful and magical
DeletePaula G
The very first time I was dressed up as a girl I was seven. Along with about ten other little boys we were all dressed as girls to sing a song at a show at a summer day camp. For me it was a deeply humiliating experience and a male counselor groped me under my dress. I was too young to understand what his intent was. Thankfully he never touched me again.
ReplyDeleteAs I reached my middle school years I felt this inexplicable urge to try on girl's clothes. Finally one night when I was 12 and home alone, unable to resist the feeling and not caring what in the world it meant, I dressed myself up in my mother's bra, panties, panty girdle, nylons, slip, and chiffon dress.
The trembling excitement was almost overwhelming and I swished around my home loving the feeling of nylons and chiffon. When I put away mom's clothes I felt nothing except humiliation over what I'd done. I wondered if there were any other boys in the world who put on a dress as I had and loved it. I thought I was a freak.
I've worn women's clothes many times over the fifty seven years that have passed since I was 12. My wife knows of this interest. She doesn't participate and otherwise it's a secret to everyone else in the world except anonymous people who've seen things I've written online.
I don't know why this developed in me. I've stopped looking for the answer because I don't think anyone knows.
Emily
Postmortem studies, which focused on male-to-female transgender brain, found that the brain volumes of transgender women were similar to that of cisgender females in certain areas, such as the central nucleus of the bed stria terminalis or interstitial nuclei of the anterior hypothalamus. These are areas that are essential in sexual behaviors, and the fact that the transgender female brain resembles the cisgender brain was important.
ReplyDeletehttps://consultqd.clevelandclinic.org/the-brain-and-gender-identity-current-evidence-and-implications-for-practice-podcast/
I couldn't have said it better Paula (and Stana).
ReplyDeleteNo one better than a real woman to feminize a crossdresser sissy. It's divine.
ReplyDelete