Monday, December 11, 2023

More Stuff (#22)

By J.J. Atwell

Wow, 22 installments of my Stuff! I’d love to hear about what you would like to read about in future installments.  

Today, I’d like to talk about picking a nom de femme. How did you pick a name for your girl side?

Still a Rose?

Some of us may remember from our English literature classes that a famous writer once wrote, “That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.” I suppose we could call ourselves anything and it really wouldn’t matter to our presentation. But if I did that, this would be a very short column.  

So I got to wondering how crossdressers go about picking out a name for their girl side. Unlike most people, we crossdressers get to pick our preferred name. I’m sure some of us gave that a lot of thought. While some took the easy road of just adopting a female version of their male name. Gene becomes “Jean,” Robert becomes “Roberta,” etc. Maybe I shouldn’t call that the easy way. How we arrive at our nom de femme is something personal and bears some thought.

Yes, Still a Rose!  

When you pick your femme name you are really making a statement about yourself. The simple act of deciding to adopt a nom de femme says that you accept that part of yourself.  That is that she exists. She is real. There is something there that affects you profoundly and is a part of your whole being.

When you use your femme name and have others recognize you by it, it affirms not just that part of you, but all of you. Acknowledging your girl side affects your life decisions consciously and subconsciously.  

How did I pick my nom de femme? I took a fairly easy way out. I wanted to keep my same initials. So I adopted a first name (Jennifer) that is roughly similar to my guy name. Picking a middle name was pretty easy. Joy described my feelings when dressed. It took a bit more effort for the last name but ultimately went with Atwell because it connotes an overall feeling of wellness. How’s that stuff?

I’ll be back

I’d love to hear how you picked your nom de femme. I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Editress’ Note 

Some readers have indicated that they are confused by J.J.’s published email address (Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com). J.J. and other people use this format to prevent Internet robots from mining email addresses for nefarious purposes.

In order to use such an address to send J.J. an email, you must manually convert this format into a legitimate email address. For example, I will convert Lola at-sign femulate dot org

at-sign converts to @

dot converts to .

Delete the blank spaces and Lola at-sign femulate dot org becomes

Source: Rue La La
Wearing A.L.C.

Mahmoud Hemeida
Mahmoud Hemeida femulates in the 1994 Egyptian film Strawberry War.


  1. Well I feminises my birth name my husband she use to be my wife like Steffie I love how my tomboy treats me now.Her mother insists on Stephanie though sounds deliciously feminine as I help her in the kitchen

  2. My femme name? Whose brain did they use for the monster in the Mel Brooks movie, Young Frankenstein? When my daughter attended the touring theatre version, she bought me the t shirt the merchandisers were selling with my name on it. My middle name of choice is Molly, the generic name for a public crossdresser the cops coined in large cities in the northeastern USA a hundred years ago. It most often was used as the plural Mollies to describe a group arrested in a raid. I am a history buff. My last name is a common one from Bavaria where my ancestors originated. I look pretty authentic in full Bavarian ethnic costume. You are right. My femme name does say a lot about me.

    1. Great story! Yes your Femme Name certainly says a lot about your life story!!!

  3. My femme name is girly version of my middle name. I didn't use my male name as the girl version of it uses the same nickname.

    1. JJ here. Many of us seem to pick a name that's similar to our guy name. I guess we are kind of attracted to it.

  4. I would like to tell you I pondered long and hard over what to call my female persona. The truth is I did not even have to think about since Lee is my middle name. Sorry, not a very riveting story... but I am sticking to it!

    1. JJ here. It doesn't have to be a riveting story. Its real life and that's significant in and of itself!

  5. Rachel McNeillDecember 11, 2023

    I am a runner. It’s part of who I am, as much as my female half. I look to genetic women for cues on mannerisms, gait, makeup and so forth. Similarly, to select a name, I went to my favorite search engine and typed in “womens running” and ran an image search. I scrolled through the results until I saw a woman who looked as I did when I was young (in my dreams) and clicked through and saw her name. She was a collegiate runner finishing a 3,000 meter race. I took her given name. It works for me. Friends tell me it fits.

  6. I don't use a feminine name as I go by John no matter the clothes or makeup I wear.

  7. My wife and I were driving to my first public outing at Lips in San Diego when she said, “What name are you going to use if we meet some people tonight?” I quickly replied Chris and it has stuck.

  8. JJ here. Just wanted to thank all of those that shared their story about their Femme Name. I got some emails in addition to those posted here. Love reading them!!!!

  9. JJ here. What a great heritage! You honor your parents and grand parents with your name that is still uniquely you.