Friday, March 24, 2023

Friends in Dresses

Writing this blog for over 16 years, I have gotten to know a lot of femulators – most by email, but a good number in person. Some I consider friends, others acquaintances, but all of them are sisters.

One of my friends revealed that she went to work en femme on St. Patrick’s Day. It was the first time for her and she did it to support our community, which is being attacked on all fronts.  She wrote, “ being visible here as an out trans person is I think something I need to do.” Even though it was a “complete non issue for everyone” she worked with, it still took a lot of guts to do so and I was so proud of her for doing it.

My friend is not alone. I am aware of others who work and/or live full-time as women. And I am sure that there are a lot more who I am not aware of. 

I like to think that if I was still employed, I would be in skirts and heels in my office by now. Since I am retired, I can’t go to work en femme, but I still dress pretty whenever I can. And now that I am back on my feet, I let the local LGBTQ outreach coordinator know that I am available to do outreach again.

And so it goes.

Source: Rue La La
Wearing Ted Baxter

Richard Simmons
Richard Simmons


  1. Stana I'd love to hear the story of our sister's St. Patricks Day parade at the office. Dear sister if you are listening please share?

    As many here know, you and I worked at the same corporation at different locations. I wish I had come out as you did. Recently I have l come out to 2 colleagues and it has been a non issue. However I work remotely now and the chance to come to work enfemme has past.

    I'll guess I'll put it out there I worked for ARRIS for the last 7 years and before that it was Motorola so if there are any alumnae out there let's connect.

    What the heck-- Paula G

  2. Richard Simmons? Really??
    What was the occasion, I wonder.

    1. Dunno, Julie, but there are numerous photos online of Richard en femme.

  3. I genuinely believe that the best outreach to our communities that we are able to do is to go out and live our best lives. Other people will see us just doing our thing. I am amazed every day by the support my co-workers have given me since I was coaxed out.

    If people see that we're just another person in our community, the very vocal minority of bigots narrowminded trolls and phobic people will lose their backing.

    At my age, I never expected to change the world but back in November it was changed for me. (predictive text on my PC wanted to add "changed for the better" and it's right.)

    I still feel a level of fear and nervousness dealing with people but I am so much happier now than ever in my adult life.

    Bottom line, "C'mon girls! Live your best life."


    1. Rachel McNeillMarch 25, 2023

      I agree with you. I think of myself as an ambassador for the sisterhood of TG and CD femulators. Whenever I’m out and about, just going to the grocery store, to the doctor’s office, or at a museum or theater, i take it upon myself to be my best self. Some people will never change their minds about us, but most people are open-minded and tolerant. If I seem like a polished “lady of a certain age,” it’s hard to find their grandmother threatening or subversive, isn’t it?

  4. IIRC, SCOTUS tackled gender-based dress codes several years ago. Gorsuch's opinion really is worth a read. Presently, the question of what one wears boils down to freedom of expression. And it's really that simple.