Friday, March 6, 2020


By Diana

In view of your own family posts, I thought I must share a surreal moment I had on Sunday.

My sister (2 years younger than me) suffers with anxiety and has been struggling with up and down moods since Mum died.

Every Sunday, her and Mum would to spend an hour or two talking on the phone discussing life, what they had done that week and what was coming up. It was a regular thing always in the morning.

Since Mum died, she has missed that and subsequently on a Sunday, she has a deep low. Often, if I am around and on Messenger, she will send me a note which usually evolves into a conversation where she can unload all her woes.

This Sunday she was having a really bad time. Not only was she down because of Mum, but also her ailments were playing up. Plus her doctor had requested a review of her anxiety pills and she was afraid she would lose them. So she was telling me all this and I was giving her advice as usual. And then in a message relating to Dad – a typo crept into my message – where the word “secret” appeared out of context.

In her reply she mentioned she knew I had a secret? After lots of towing and frowing, she finally spilt the beans.

When I was in my twenties and in between moving into my new house and home she had raided my girly cabinet! Finding a wig, makeup and lingerie confused her, so she talked to Dad, who had found my clothes stash years before.

Dad had told her it was “just a phase” and nothing more was said.

She saw me doing all the manly things like martial arts and cars, lots of women and the odd potential fatherhood moment. And so nothing was ever said, but it had never left her – a question unanswered. Needless to say she worked out what it was and wondered if I had taken it further. So my sister has been living with that for nearly 40 years always wondering.

It was only confirmed in a talk with my wife at some point who put her straight, but my wife banned her from ever mentioning it to anyone including me. My wife is very embarrassed about people knowing about my dressing, but I was surprised she would not let my sister talk to me about it.

So the truth came out by accident,

We had a long message exchange about this. She even had to see Diana on Facebook! Naturally, she only has a limited story, but I promised to meet and tell her all.

She was surprised that I was happy that she knew. I did explain that I had intended to tell her anyway once my birthday (this Sunday) was over as felt I should clear the decks.

One thing about Mum's death has made me understand that it is not fair to have unknown stuff hidden to be discovered when it's too late. I am happy to tell anyone I feel comfortable with that I am part woman and not ashamed of the fact.

OK – I am selective about who I tell, but some women have already guessed there was something anyway. Men do not take it so well.

Naturally, my sister had told her husband who took it in stride, but I am not surprised as he has a love of dressing in very strange attire if the opportunity arrives (fancy dress, themed party, etc.).

The conversation took a very strange direction as I was the one trying reassure my sister that I was happy and pleased that she knew. She kept apologizing for the fact she knew.

It was the complete opposite of what I had imagined. She was the one who felt in the wrong, not me. Luckily, after lots of messages, she finally understood that I was happy to be what I am and quite OK with the fact she knew .

Once that penny finally dropped, she finished her conversation off with a killer line.

“You may be my pain in the ass brother who I love, but you do look good as a woman.”

I thought I had to share this with you as it was a very important moment for us both.

Isn’t life strange!

Source: Rue La La
Wearing Melly M

National Variety Artists Halloween Ball in New York City in 1960
Femulators attending the National Variety Artists Halloween Ball in New York City in 1960


  1. Life is indeed strange...................and WOW.

    Angel Amore

  2. If we thought these things through we may find that many of our concerns and fears are in our minds.
    We love our family with all of their faults and foibles. It is not unreasonable to assume that our family members feel the same about us. They know we are not perfect but we are family.
    We deal with life long perceptions. Your sister, at least in your mind, has a perception of you that has been there for decades. You worry that coming out would jolt her perception of who you are. More often then not people can accept who we are and what we long as who we are and what we do does not reflect poorly on them. Most women are OK with folks like us except when it is their husband who is the cross dresser. If it becomes known to friends and family the fact that we like to wear dresses, heels and makeup could, at least in their minds, reflect poorly on them. I refer to it as the 'not my husband' syndrome.

  3. as Pat says "Most women are OK with folks like us except when it is their husband who is the cross dresser."
    it took me cancer surgery and survival to have the "if not now, when?" discussion with myself
    far too many people (my relatives in particular) are "strap-hangers".. and when the subway car jolts, they feel personally offended
    the "not my husband" syndrome is one way to put it... the other is the intense "Leave It To Beaver/put your kid in a bubble" syndrome that started back in the 50's and 60's exhibited in "Mad Men", along with the "be seen in the most popular car in America" advertising, which still exists to this moment with Reddit posters crowd-sourcing their lives, like lemmings.. *gasp*

  4. Stana, I am glad your sister was able to unload the backpack she has been carrying all these years.

    Maybe one day she can enjoy you as you are as her older sister

    Life is too short to worry about these things and I am so glad that your relationship will have less friction


    1. Not my story or sister, Brenda. The story was written by Diana.