Monday, September 17, 2018

Gender Neutral Dining

The concept of gender-neutral dining is simple: help customers feel more comfortable by refraining from labeling them. For non-binary and trans diners especially, being addressed as "sir" or "ma’am" can be highly uncomfortable and jarring, which is why some restaurants are eliminating terms like "ladies and gentlemen" from their vocabulary. Another thing they’ve gotten rid of? Ladies first—the entire tradition of taking orders from and serving, well, ladies first. (distilled from PureWow)

I get it, but I love being addressed as "ma'am," or even better, "miss."

Source: New York & Company
Wearing New York & Company (Source: New York & Company)

Blue is for boys.
Blue is for boys.


  1. Like you, Stana, I love being "Ma'med" or "Missed", and while I understand eliminating gender-specific terms would make certain members of our community (eg. non-binary folks) more comfortable, I will miss (pun intended 😁) being addressed as a lady when out dressed (which doesn't happen often since I'm not that passable 😅), if that becomes widespread. But look at the bright side, at least I don't have to endure being called "Sir"! 😉

    1. Janet YbarraSeptember 17, 2018

      Put me down as another vote as one who is pleased with every "ma'am," "miss," or in a group "ladies" I get. I'm a woman and want to be acknowledged as such.

      Aside hormones, etc. there are aspects of being female I have put a certain amount of work into, deportment, etc., so to me it's important to be identified female.

  2. It doesn't matter to me if I'm ma'amed or sir'ed. Just don't address me as "maggot". I identify myself as a man but given that my hair is longer than my shoulders and my bra size is 40DD I can understand how I can get read as a woman.

  3. A lot of cisgender girls would envy contestant #7 for her legs.

  4. I cannot speak for that course, but I can highly recommend "Melanie Speaks" (, which worked for me and costs only $19.95.

  5. There ARE voice-feminizing techniques that require "training your voice box to move higher" to achieve a higher-pitched voice. I've witnessed sisters posting online videos that shows the results of said training. I've also seen a female impersonator sing in alternating female/male roles in a single song, although I dunno whether she used the same technique as the online sisters...

  6. Anrogenous terms are ok, but there's nothing that pleases me more when out dressed as being addressed as "madam" or on one occasion "Miss" (a sort of double compliment - as I was in my late 50s at the time). I'd really miss all that. However, I'll take anything as I'm not addressed in a collective group as "you guys" (and that goes for when I'm in male mode, too) Grrrr!