Friday, August 17, 2018

Snoop the Chute

I had a colonoscopy yesterday.

I was a little concerned going in because it was 12 years since my last one and they reccommend getting one every 5 years especially if colon cancer runs in your family like it does in mine.

I absolutely hate the prep the day before. I will not go into details, but if you have had a colonoscopy, you know what I mean.

Before the procedure, the anesthesiologist said I would be "asleep" for about 30 minutes. I dunno about you, but it did not resemble sleep to me. No consciousness, no dreams, no nothing... it is like I was dead for a half hour.

Just before I went to "sleep," I asked the doctor to show me the tube he would use to explore my nether reaches. I was expecting a tube approximately the diameter of RG-59 cable (the black cable that connects all the gizmos to your television). Boy, was I wrong! It was more like the diameter of a garden hose! Ouch!

Anyway, after I returned to the Planet Earth, my doctor informed me that I did not have colon cancer and did not have any polyps. (I assumed at a minimum that I would have polyps because I did have one the last time the doctor snooped my chute.)

He recommended that I keep on doing what I am doing because it is working.

Since what I wrote above has nothing to do with femulating, I have to add that both my nurse and my anesthesiologist made my day by remarking separately that I do not look my age... that I look much younger. So since I am so well-preserved, short skirts and high heels will continue to be part of my wardrobe!




Source: New York & Co.
Wearing New York & Co. (Source: New York & Co.)




Janek Traczy
Janek Traczy femulates Lana Del Rey on Polish television's Your Face Sounds Familiar (2018)

11 comments:

  1. Janet YbarraAugust 17, 2018

    You should be very pleased by their compliments. There are many of us girls would kill to be told we don't look our ages.

    But from here on in, as unpleasant as the prep is (and I know from experience) please stick to the schedule your physician recommends... for the your own sake, the sake of the ones who love you and all of your readers out here. Deal, hon?

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    1. One reason I kept putting off the colonoscopy was that a dear friend had her colon punctured during a colonoscopy. One thing led to another and she died a year later.

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    2. Janet YbarraAugust 22, 2018

      So sorry to hear about your friend. However, I had a friend who died of colon cancer because he did not follow his doctor's diagnostic plan just because he kept putting it off. By the time he was diagnosed, it was too late. But had he followed his doct's advice he likely would be alive today.

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  2. Good to hear about the clean bill of health.

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    1. Thank-you - It was very good news, Heather!

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  3. I'm glad you received a clean bill of health, Stana, and remember --- it could have been worse --- they could have used 1-5/8" Heliax!

    73 de Trish

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  4. Stana, Your mention of the colon prep solution is just another COSTLY healthcare scam. Google the ingredients of colonscopy prep:, like Epsom Salts, magnesium sulfate, potassium sulfate, citric acid, flavoring. The cost of the FOOD GRADE versions of these salts (theyre on AMAZON) is mere pennies a pound. Somehow the cost of the 'prep box' is about $100.00!

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    1. Hospital gave me a recipe to roll my own: 4 Ducolax tablets, then 3 hours later 64 oz of Gatorade mixed with 238g of Miralax. Out of pocket cost was under $20.

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  5. Happy your chute was "All Clear' had my 1st last year, good until 55 … same family issues

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  6. My first colonoscopy, I told the doctor, "Not without dinner and flowers you aren't!"

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