Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Frustrated at One Big Event

Diana photographed me holding her drink at One Big Event
Shortly after my encounter with Senator Blumenthal at One Big Event, the dancing portion of the evening began.

The music was contemporary, which means I did not recognize most of the songs. I thought about requesting something from the last century, but I did not have a dance partner.

Do I ask a gay guy to dance with me?

Do I ask a straight guy to dance with me?

Do I ask one of the women who have been eyeing me all night to dance with me?

Do I wait to be asked to dance?

So many choices!

I love to dance even if I am not familiar with the music, but what is the proper etiquette in this situation?

I harken back to my days in high school and college attending dances and usually being turned down by the girls I asked to dance. Would it be a UCONN mixer all over again?

Would I appear desperate asking a guy to dance?

Would a guy reject me because in their eyes I am really a guy?

And asking a woman to dance is a conundrum I am unable to dicipher.

Being asked to dance would have been wonderful, but I would not be surprised if potential dancers were just as unsure about the proper etiquette as I was.

As I mulled this over Saturday night, I recalled that this happened every time I attended One Big Event in the past. And it always put a damper on the evening.

I hung back for about 30 minutes waiting for a Prince or Princess Charming to ask me to dance, but it did not happen. So I went home.

Source: Boston Proper
Wearing Boston Proper (Source: Boston Proper)

Yvonne femulated a bunny for Halloween.


  1. Those etiquette questions you posed are ones I've also wondered, even though I don't socialize as often as, or to the extent that, you do. I hope someone with more experience "out 'n about" will shed some light on it...


  2. I suspect that we are often perceived as sexless, especially in an LGBTQ+ context, the Gay men see us as women and the lesbians see us as men, in my own world I have made it clear that I consider myself straight which has just confused my Gay male friends even more. ~ Which isn't to say that I wouldn't want to dance with any of them.

  3. My experience is that girls dance with girls at such events all the time; ask a girl--the worst that can happen is she says no.

    1. My exact thoughts, also Rhonda Darling's post

  4. The consolation is that the dress looks fabulous on you!

  5. Stana! You've got me questioning your observational skills. Women ALWAYS dance. If men are not interested, women just gather on a dance floor and dance as a group. All you need to do is spot two or more dancing and go join in! It's truly that simple! It's not about any traditional rolls.

    So no more "early to bed" for our at events.


  6. How wonderful would it be to be asked by prince charming
    Nadia x

  7. I agree with Rhonda! Pick a group of women (or a singled out one, and go for it!)

  8. I've turned down more requests for dancing than I've accepted. Although I learned the basic ballroom styles at the age of twelve, I learned them from the wrong side. What Ginger Rogers said about dancing backward and in high heels is absolutely true. Besides the fact that I'm self-conscious about holding a man's hand when mine are most likely larger, putting my meager dancing skills in reverse is like backing a trailer into a tight parking space for the first time. If the dancing is more free-form, though, with no touching required, that's just fine with me. Of course, I did get tricked into a slow dance once, when the guy had prearranged it with the band. I should have known better, being a musician myself.

    If you want to be asked to dance, the best way is to be seen on the dance floor in the first place. You can always accomplish that by getting a friend to accompany you first. This is assuming, of course, that you are not seen first dancing like Elaine on Seinfeld. :-)

  9. A real conundrum...an enigma wrapped in a mystery.
    I think that in general women like to dance. While some men like to dance I think that for many men, know women like to dance, they will ask a woman to dance as a 'first step' towards starting a relationship. The is often the hope of more to come when a man asks a woman to dance. With women dancing it is simply that...woman dancing.

  10. I would think at an event like that anyone could dance with anyone... but I can see preferring to be asked....

  11. I'm a man and I wouldn't hesitate to ask you to dance. You look amazing.