Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Amazed and Jealous

Stana in 1976
I am always amazed (and jealous) to see all the young women posting their photos and stories at Reddit's Crossdressing.

"Amazed" because there are so many girls coming out and they all look amazing. "Jealous" because there were no resources like it when I was coming out as a young woman. (Girlfriends helping boyfriends with their makeup just blows my mind. Back when I was young, if I asked a girlfriend to help me with my makeup, she would have dumped me posthaste.)

I came out very slowly... so slowly that I am still coming out. Coming out, I was discouraged from every direction... not in so many words, but rather by society's general attitude toward girls like us.

My peers were treated like freaks and bozos and that discouraged me from getting on board the bus. It was easier to deny my true self and live a lie pretending to be a "man." Despite my denials, my femininity was so imbedded in me that I did not fit in well with other men because of my girlish characteristics and mannerisms.

Being a man was a bad fit, which became obvious to me as my occasional crossdressing fit so well and I finally accepted the fact that I was a woman all along.

If Reddit's Crossdressing or just the Internet existed when I was young, it probably would have accelerated all that, but it did not exist, so I did the best that I could.

Source: MyHabit

Wearing Nicole Miller.

Patrick Swayze power-suited in the 1995 film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar.


  1. I hear you Stana. I was in exactly the same boat and deep in denial as well. Today's kids are much more open and liberated and its good to see that they can be more themselves rather than to subscribe to a forced image that they are cajoled into adopting.

  2. Rather than resent the opportunities I did not have I try to rejoice that the young generation growing up now have so much, but still not enough! It is through the efforts not just of the campaigners, but also those like you who are happy to be seen that it slowly becomes easier.

  3. I sometimes look at myself as the slowest progression getting out. The world has changed so much during our lives and the changes keep on coming. As more and more people get out and about and treat others with dignity and tolerance I believe that more and more of us will be treated with dignity and tolerance in return.

  4. You are so right. Like Paula, I rejoice that the opportunities for the younger generation. I think it will only get better. We, the older generation, can be part of that change by getting out more and telling our story.

  5. I have to laugh at the young "whipper snappers" on reditt, "Is 21 too late to transition?"

    Yes Stana, transgender people on campus are typical these days, there is support on campus and also in high schools

    Below are three additional sub reditts transition timelines, ask transgender, and trans passing

  6. Your hard work is part of what has made it easier for the young to be themselves. They did not get to where they are alone.

    As always,

    With thanks for all you do here,