By Monica M
Before we get on to the teenage years and all that history stuff, I should give a little information about myself. I am in my mid-50s, married to a wonderful woman who is very accepting of my feminine side.
However, she does like her guy around, so I am a part-time guy. I am no op and no hormones (given a free choice, these might be a little different!) I believe that all relationships need compromise and these are some of mine. Her support for Monica is very important in my life and I do not want to push things as I love her dearly.
We have been together for a great number of years and I told her that I was transgender back when I knew that she was the one for me. Somehow I knew it was not right to enter into a relationship without full disclosure. That was one of the few flashes of genius I have had in my life. However, it is fair to say that neither of us knew at that time how this would all play out. Maybe, like in The Matrix, she would have taken the blue pill if she had known.
I have referred to my story as a success story and that is the way I see it now, but it was not obvious from the start how it might turn out. Sure, I am not full-time and sure I am not on hormones or post-op, but I have what I consider to be best thing that you can achieve as a transgender no matter what. I have a close group of women friends who support and love me for the woman that I really am.
I believe that part of the depression that leads to suicide is the inability to connect with other women and to find support amongst them. This group of close women friends is priceless to me. I have a Heart Circle call with about 6 or 8 of these women each week by Skype. You could not hope for a more loving and supportive bunch of women.
This series of blogs will tell the story of how I got from a place that seems familiar to many who have travelled this road to one of great emotional satisfaction and enjoyment. There is nothing special about me, I have been lucky and have had great breaks; but looking back, I can see a pattern which can be woven into a strategy that may help others. As I have said, anything I can do to help people falling into depression and suicide is well worth the effort. It is my small contribution to our community.
However, just because there is a strategy does not mean that the journey is easy. It is still hard work and lots of effort, but at least with this strategy, one can see the goal and the benefits of the goal and you can see others who have walked that path and achieved the results.
Again, this is just my idea of success; others may have different ideas of living a successful transgender life and it would be great if they could lay out their strategies to help those who follow. The more we lay out the paths for those who follow, the easier it will be.
There is a certain responsibility for us pioneers to show the way to others or at least, suggest the way to others. It is up to those who follow whether they want or see the value in the path that we lay out, but at least, we are helping others by giving them options.
(Part 1 of One Person’s Journey to Womanhood appeared here yesterday. Part 3 will appear here tomorrow.)
Two members of the punk rock group The Cramps femulated
for the cover of their 1990 single All Women Are Bad.
Wearing Blu 39.