Sunday, March 31, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Five months later, there is still a low-level buzz at work about my Halloween presentation. I understand that some people wonder when I am going to drop the other shoe and present en femme full-time.
Which indicates that some people have concluded that there is more to my Halloween presentation than just Halloween.
My spouse is not on-board with me living full-time as a woman. I will not bore you again with the details, but I will simply state that I have made commitments to my spouse that I plan to honor, which precludes me living full-time as a woman.
Recently, I read about a girl who was in a similar situation as mine. Everyday she left her home in boy mode, dressed en femme at work, spent the day en femme and at the end of the work day, changed back into boy mode and returned home. In her case, it was to hide her girl from her children. Her spouse knew what was going on, but I do not know if she was supportive or not.
That daily routine sounds exhausting, but it is an option.
Maybe I could try it one day a week, see how it goes and build up to doing it five days a week.
It will make my work day longer because dressing and undressing takes time and I would do that on my own time, not company time. But practice makes perfect and over time, I probably can streamline things and cut some time off the processes.
I believe that Human Resources would support me because the head of HR already asked when I was going full-time.
What's holding me back?
Thursday, March 28, 2013
"Easter dress for boys and men" was the "Subject" of an e-mail I received yesterday. It came from Payless Shoes and it refers to Easter dress shoes for boys and men, not Easter dresses for boys and men. But it gave me pause when I received it and saw its Subject line.
However, some men have been shopping for dresses recently. Not for Easter, but for the Sturgis (SD) Crisis Intervention Shelter Service's Womanless Beauty Pageant. The Meade County Times-Tribune has the whole story and it is the source of the photo (right).
My dress-shopping at Spiegel last week was a big disappointment. I was elated by the super fast delivery, but neither dress I purchased fit - not even close.
Over the years, I have purchased a lot of clothing from Spiegel, but recently their sizes have shrunk. Sizes that used to work for me are now too small and they offer nothing larger (and, no, I have not gained any weight). I guess I can cross Spiegel off my shopping list.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Paula Gaikowski shares another ephemeral femulating memory.
While the My Three Sons episode “Spring Will Be a Little Late,” had a weighty and thoughtful impact on me, there was an episode of The Munsters titled “Lily Munster, Girl Model” that was delightfully cute, but not as serious.
Lily wants to do something with her spare time and she finds a job as a model. Herman gets angry and jealous because he believes that all the men will admire her. Using his magic potions, Grandpa turns into a woman, in order to help Herman make Lily jealous. So Grandpa goes down to the dungeon mixes up a potion and with a puff of smoke, there is a gorgeous blonde standing there. Of course, the actress (Nine Simpson) playing the transformed Grandpa has Grandpa’s voice.
Of course, Lily sees this woman with Herman and becomes insanely jealous, but it gets all sorted out in the end. The best part comes at the very end when Eddie appears coming up from the dungeon, now looking like the cutest 10-year-old girl in the world. A pretty young actress stands there in a frilly party dress with Eddie’s booming voice.
“Serves you right for playing in Grandpa’s dungeon,” admonishes mother Lily.
Eddie in a panic cries, “But what am I going to do Grandpa? I have a baseball game in one hour!”
Grandpa shakes his head and says, “Well, I guess you have to learn to pitch underhand!”
To which I remember thinking, “I would love to learn to pitch under hand!”
Actor Adrian Pasdar femulating in the 1992 British film Just Like A Woman, which in my opinion, is one of the best film depictions of the life of a femulator.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The four beauties above depict some of the girls who participated in the Misfit 2001 beauty pageant at Lumberton (TX) High School. And they represent the hundreds of girls who participated in womanless beauty pageants in high schools across the land that were captured by Miss Starla, the woman who continues to uncover the lovely pageant participants in online high school yearbooks.
I just uploaded the latest batch of images consisting of 101 gal-emulations to flickr.
To view the latest additions to the collection:
Method 1: Open one of the Yearbooks sets (A through Z) and you will find the newest uploads at the end/bottom of the set. (The oldest uploads appear at the beginning/top of the set.)
Method 2: Open my photostream and you will find the newest uploads at the top of page 1. The uploads get older as the page numbers get higher with the oldest uploads on the last page.
By the way, the contents of the Yearbook A through Z sets are organized according to school name, for example, the photos from Hard Knox High School would be in the Yearbooks H set.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Friday, I attended the True Colors Conference at the campus of my alma mater, the University of Connecticut.
I dressed en femme and thought I looked pretty good for someone who passed the 60-year mile marker two years ago. Usually, I am hypercritical of my presentation and always find something wrong, but Friday I thought I looked as good as I get. (And it always amazes me how much younger I look in girl mode than I do in boy mode!)
I switched to flats to drive to Storrs, parked my car in the parking garage near my old dormitory and kept my flats on to walk to the Student Union.
In past years attending the Conference, I parked in a different garage on the opposite side of the Student Union, so this was the first time since I graduated in 1973 that I walked the walk that I took everyday between my dorm and the classroom buildings. It was nostalgic, but my how things had changed!
Across the street from Memorial Stadium was a huge field, about 12 acres in size that provided a beautiful view of the rolling hills to the east. Most days after classes, my dorm mates and I would play softball or touch football in that field.
Today, that field is occupied by five buildings constructed after I graduated. The view and my old playing field are long gone. I wondered where my old dorm mates have gone and I wondered what they would think if they could see me now.
I entered the Student Union and encountered throngs of GLBT youth, who were enjoying their day. I stopped by the Information table to greet my old friend Robin who was staffing it. A woman, who I did not recognize was also staffing the table, but she recognized me and greeted me like we were old friends.
I played along and said it was great to see her, then I continued on my way to the support group's table which I was scheduled to staff from 10 AM to 2 PM. I was 10 minutes late, but another friend, Kelly was holding down the fort until I arrived.
At the Information table, I encountered Fantasia Fair friend, Liz, who escorted me to the presenter's table where I signed in and received my presentation packet. Then I returned to the support group's table to relieve Kelly, who left to join her parents who were staffing the PFLAG table.
Youths and adults came by the table, but mostly youths who were attracted by our bait - a variety of candy. Since the name of the support group (Connecticut Outreach Society) reveals nothing about the organization, people asked and that gave me a chance to tell them about being trans rather than give them details about the group since it is only open to adults. At one point, I had eight youths surrounding the table listening to me talk about being trans and answering all of their questions on the subject.
The woman behind the curtain at True Colors, Robin McHaelen, stopped by and gave me a big hug (we go back a few years now) and said something to the effect that I looked great. I also received compliments from youths and other adults throughout the day.
Everyone I encountered seemed to accept me, either as a woman or as trans. I was never referred to as a male; it was always “she,” “her,” “Ma’am” or “Miss.”
A number of times, kids and adults came up to the booth and when I began my Transgender 101 spiel, I could see their expression change as they tried to figure me out. It was very interesting.
Karen, another Fantasia Fair friend arrived to staff the table and give me a break. So I took the time to visit the ladies' room. On the way to that room, I passed the Information table and the mystery woman beckoned me to sit down and chat.
It turns out that the mystery woman was Jila, who had given me the works at her spa three years ago. I did not recognize her because I had only seen her that one day in March 2010, but she recognized me, probably because my image was on her spa's website and because she reads this blog.
We caught up on our good times and bad and then I asked her about my voice. I had been using my femme voice from the get-go, but caught myself returning to my boy voice when I stopped concentrating on using my femme voice.
Jila critiqued my femme voice. Her main complaint was that my voice tended to drop into boy mode as I concluded whatever I was saying. She worked with me on it and suggested that I let myself go especially with regards to gesturing with my hands as I talked.
I practiced with Jila's guidance and in no time, things were clicking and I suddenly felt a wave of femininity flow over me like I never felt before. Wow!
I concentrated on my voice the rest of the day. At times, I fell back into boy mode, but I think I made a lot of progress. Thank you, Jila!
I ran into other friends during the day including Krista, Lee Ann and my life coach, Holly. I chatted with Holly until it was time to get ready for my presentation: "Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly."
My presentation was in a conference room in the Women's Center, rather than in a classroom. The room had a lot of comfy chairs as well as folding chairs, so it was a little cozier than classroom. And instead of standing in back of a podium, I was just standing or sitting out in the open, which probably made everything a little more intimate.
A small, but enthusiastic group of about ten showed up and I began. I worked through an updated version of my "top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman" in about half the session. At the beginning, I told the group to interrupt me at anytime to ask questions and they took me up on my offer.
After my top 30 things, I took more questions related to the top 30 or anything else anyone wanted to ask. I gave long rambling answers that entertained (I got a few laughs) and informed (at least that is what the oral and written comments indicated).
Some of the questions I recall were:
Do you ever dress in men's clothing?
How out are you to your family?
Where can you buy shoes in larger sizes?
Tell us about any negative reactions you have had when out in public?
We ran out of time and I received a round of applause and some thank-you’s.
After the presentation, a woman came up to speak with me. She is involved with two youth groups in Western Massachusetts and wondered if I would be interested in talking to her groups because I would be a "wonderful role model." I indicated that I would be happy to do it and will wait for her to contact me to work something out.
I returned to the support group table to meet up with my friend Diana and we decided to stop at Rein's Deli for dinner. Although her car was in the north garage and mine in the south garage, we managed to show up at the deli 15 miles away at exactly the same time!
It was 5 PM and the deli was busy, but nobody seemed to pay much attention to us except when I waited at the register to pay the bill. Diana noticed a very senior lady who seemed to be awestruck by me. I guess she never saw an Amazon before.
After the long day, I was surprisingly not tired. I was energized by the day.
Mid-afternoon, I was walking through the Student Union and passed by a group of a half-dozen teens, who were dressed rather plainly unlike a lot of the other youths at the conference who wore every color of the rainbow (often all at the same time)!
The biggest male in the group politely stopped me. (I assumed he was male, but I could be in error because there was a lot of gender-blurring at the conference.) Anyway, I asked the boy what he wanted and he replied that he wanted a hug.
I gave him a big hug.
Now I hugged friends and acquaintances throughout the day, but this hug with a stranger was the most important hug of the day.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
On Friday, I attended the True Colors Conference. It was a wonderful day and will write all about it soon, but it is late, I am tired and I am going to bed, but I leave you with this photo of yours truly before I drove to the conference.
Friday, March 22, 2013
I will begin Friday by dressing as a female professional, then driving an hour to the campus of the University of Connecticut (my alma mater) to attend the True Colors Conference for sexual minority youth and their supporters.
I will staff my support group's table for about four hours and then make a presentation titled "Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly." I have made this presentation at True Colors before and it was well-received. Basically, it is an update of my 2007 blog post "top 30 things every crossdressing man needs in his wardrobe to emulate a woman" presented orally in a female voice.
Yes - I have been practicing for over a month fine-tuning my female voice and it will make its debut today.
I will have a full report on my day out as soon as possible... hopefully, with photos!
By the way, the photo above is from the 1940 film His Girl Friday starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, who happens to hail from my hometown.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
|Marta Kirsten (right) as Peggy/Pig. Marta|
later played Judy Robinson on Lost In Space.
If you’re a baby boomer, you'll remember watching My Three Sons.
I will never forget the impact of an episode titled “Spring Will Be a Little Late This Year.” Robbie had a new friend named “Pig,” who was rough around the edges and the best mechanic in town. Robbie’s world is turned upside down when “Pig,” who is a really a tomboy, finds her feminine side and puts on a dress and perfume and now wants to be called "Peggy."
I was amazed by this and identified so well with Peggy. She was tired of all that masculine veneer and wanted to express the girl within.
What captivated me most was I thought Pig was really a boy and then became Peggy. I’m not sure if the writers clued the viewers in as to Pig’s true gender in the beginning. If they did it went undetected by me.
In the end, Peggy appears in the prettiest and most feminine dress. As Robbie takes her hand to escort her to the dance, he says, “Wow, you sure look pretty. I guess you being a girl ain’t all that bad.”
Peggy smiled with feminine grace and movement answers, “Oh, why thank you Robbie." (sigh)
Keep those ephemeral femulating memories coming!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
As a youngster, I saw many episodes in rerun during the daytime hours in the late 1950s and early 1960s. One episode, "The Male Ego," which aired originally on February 20, 1958, is my earliest ephemeral femulation memory.
Here is a brief summary of that episode from an online The People's Choice episode guide.
Sock, a realtor, played by Jackie Cooper, "loses the sale of a house because the prospective buyer's wife dislikes a minor detail. Convinced that women are beginning to take over the world, Sock goes to sleep and has nightmare on the subject."
The episode guide does not describe the nightmare, but I remember it. Note that I have not seen this episode in over 50 years and I only saw it once, so some of my memories may not be right on the money, but here is what I recall:
Sock's nightmare takes place in a world where the women are taking over and are in the process of acclimating men to their rule. All the women wear pants suits and they are shown forcing reluctant men to enter a transformation booth, which "refines" their personalities and their attire.
When they exit the booth, the men act effeminately and wear mini-skirted outfits. As Sock enters the booth, he seeks help from his loyal canine companion, Cleo, but she refuses to help him because Cleo is female and more loyal to the distaff side of civilization rather than her owner. The nightmare ends as Sock exits the booth as a girly-guy in a girly outfit.
That is all I remember, but it left an indelible impression on my impressionable mind back then, just another added twist to my gender identity that began when my mother put me in a dress for my christening at the age one month.
If anyone has any other details concerning this episode of The People's Choice, I would love to hear them. Or better, if anyone has a video recording of that episode, I'd love to borrow it. (I searched high and low and no recordings exist for sale or viewing anywhere I looked.)
And keep those ephemeral femulation memories coming.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Starla, the young lady who hunts down femulations in online high school yearbooks for your viewing pleasure, is today’s guest blogger.
With all the time I have spent scouring old yearbooks looking for incidences of “civilian” femulation, I have been thinking about other ephemeral items from the past relating to crossdressing and feminization. Specifically, I thought it might be an interesting feature in your blog to have readers submit memories of long-lost items they may have seen or heard in their younger years, whether print, photo, media or whatever, that made an impression long before our modern age of Internet saturation.
I have three examples from my youth that will provide an idea of the kinds of items I’m talking about. All three made quite an impression on me in my adolescence/teen years, and I would love to be able to see them again!
- An episode of the game show To Tell the Truth circa early 70’s, featured a young man as a guest contestant who, as a joke, had been dressed up by some female friends and entered in a local beauty contest. To their amused surprise, he actually won! The guy and the two “imposters” trying to fool the TTTT panel were all nicely femulated for their appearance on the show. (Note: The Game Show Network has shown some old TTTT episodes, but I do not get GSN,and have no idea whether this episode has ever been rebroadcast. If it does show up, somebody needs to put it on YouTube!)
- A filmed humorous “human interest” item used as filler on a circa mid-70’s newscast (whether network or local, I do not recall) concerning a beauty school hairstyling competition in which they recruited several long-haired males to act as models. There were brief clips of them getting rolled, dried and teased, as well as the quite elaborate finished feminine ‘dos. It appeared like both the stylists and their somewhat embarrassed subjects had a lot of fun!
- This last item appeared in a Sunday newspaper magazine supplement (similar to Parade) in the mid-70’s or thereabouts. Similar to the first item, but this involved a photo contest rather than an in-person pageant. In Britain, a local newspaper sponsored a mail-in beauty contest. Some fun-loving young birds took a male mate, did his hair and makeup like a woman (no clothing involved, as these were headshots only) and submitted his photo under the fake name of “Eileen Hussy.” I recall that his hair was not terribly long, but was sufficient to create a nice feminine teased “bubble” style. While he did not win, he was among the finalists, and the article featured a reprinted excerpt showing “Eileen’s” pic among all the female competitors.
So there you have some of my distant memories of “femulating ephemera.” I’d love to hear those of other readers!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Spiegel had a 30% off sale this weekend and I bought two dresses I had been yearning for ever since they appeared in their spring collection. The list prices of the two dresses were already reduced by 12%, so the dresses were actually discounted 38% off list price. How could I resist?
I spent most of Sunday doing my income taxes (and that is why today's blog is a little late). To show you where my priorities are, according to my tax records, I spent $1460 on women's wear for myself last year and $97 on men's wear!
Saturday night, I watched Men in Black 3. I liked Men in Black, was disappointed with Men in Black 2, but was pleasantly surprised by Men in Black 3 and I enjoyed the film very much.
I did not expect it, but there is one trans moment in the film. Agent J (played by Will Smith) travels back in time to the year 1969 and visits Andy Warhol's Factory during a "happening." As he passes through the crowd in The Factory, a beautiful female greets him with a very deep masculine voice. According to IMDB, the "Transvestite at Happening" was played by Javier Rivera AKA Rebecca Glasscock, “who was one of the nine contestants cast for the first season or RuPaul's Drag Race.”
Have a good week. Mine ends with a trip to UCONN on Friday to present a workshop titled "Femulate: The Art of Becoming Womanly" at the True Color Conference.