Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Devil is in the Details


I did not go into details  yesterday in my post about going to Mass en femme. So, here they are.

Actually, it was the second time I went to Mass en femme. The first time was at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City, but I was very anonymous there. At my parish church on Sunday, I was much less anonymous. Although I have not been involved in my parish for many years, it was likely that there were parishioners in attendance who knew me from way back when. There was also a chance that neighbors might be in attendance. And then there was the Pastor of the church who I have known most of my life.

I saw no neighbors and no parishioners I knew personally, although I did recognize some faces. And I did have a face-to-face encounter with the Pastor. I don't think he recognized me, but perhaps he did and did not want to embarrass me.

When I entered the church before Mass, the congregation was facing the front of the church, so I could not see any reactions as I walked down the aisle.

During the "sign of peace" portion of the Mass, everyone around me, both male and female of various ages, offered to shake my hand and say, "Peace be with you" without batting an eye.

As the congregation filed out at the end of the Mass, I noticed a few people looking at me and three different women, a 20-something, a 40-something, and a senior woman my own age smiled at me and said, "Hello." The male companion (I assume husband) of the senior woman also smiled and said, "Hello."

No one I noticed reacted negatively and so it goes.




Actors femulating in the 1970 film The Phynx. Warner Brothers Studios thought
the film was so bad that they decided at the last minute not to release it!





Source: Dolores Promesas

Wearing Dolores Promesas.


  1. I heard on the Catholic channel that 88% of households in the US have a Bible and that 98% of the households of 'practicing Catholics' have a Bible. The group that did the survey defined 'practicing' as someone who attends church once a month. By that definition I would be a lapsed Catholic.

    During my younger years I had concerns that my desire to cross dress and the enjoyment that I received from dressing was either sinful or at a minimum at odds with the teachings or guidelines of the Church. I am now at peace with my dressing. I know that God loves me and that God does not make mistakes. I also figure that if people can go to church dressed in ripped jeans, grungy T-shirts, etc. and still be accepted by the priest and the parish then I am confident that that degree of welcome would meet a well attired man in a dress.

    Someone close to me is an ordained Catholic deacon. Upon his ordination he selected a 'special calling' and the calling he chose was to work to open the Church to LGBT people. Progress is happening all around us thanks in part to your ongoing efforts and to the efforts of good people like the good deacon.


    PS: With regard to your Femulator photo from the movie "Phynx", even in 1970 no DQ or CD would be wearing such ugly flat shoes. I do note that some of the femulators pictured are wearing pantyhose while others are wearing stockings. 1970 was during that period of time when women were switching from stockings to pantyhose so perhaps that was an accurate depiction.

  2. A friend said to my wife, called the woman seen in a store very similar to me. I was in the shop :)

  3. Stana,
    Pat brings up a few good points and reminds me of what I went through growing up with the unusual attribute of mine. In fact, there was one time I prayed to God to tell me what kind of sin I was committing by dressing in woman's clothes. I was probably 14 at the time. I asked for a sign: if the headline in the paper had a word starting with M it was a mortal sin, if it had a V, it was a venial sin. Of course that is not the way to deal with God and I think many of us have figured that out.

    Our Catholic faith teaches us to love one another and reminds us that we are all sinners. So I am not surprised that no one made any sort of deal about you being in church. Those of us who still go to church on a regular basis are glad to see more people at Mass. The other think helping you is the likelyhood that no one would expect that a TG person would come to church. So their radar was not up.

    For about 6 months, I was able to go to Mass on nearly a daily basis and I ONLY went en femme. While I never got to the point of staying after Mass and having a long chat with anyone. I did exchange pleasantries, received compliments about my clothing and discussed the weather. The parish had 4 priests and not a one said anything to me about how I was dressed.

    I think we need to look to our new Pope. When discussing homosexuality, his response was "Who am I to judge?" Many Catholics have always followed that belief and that is, in part, why you were well received if anyone did read you. Now all we need to do is to get the rest of the world to do the same towards us.


  4. Maybe your church just Gets It and welcomes people who are there to worship without judging or being judged? You dressed quite properly for a woman your age

  5. Stana,

    Your post was very timely, because I went to church en femme for the first time a week ago Sunday. I had a good experience, enjoying the priest's homily on treating all people with love and respect. It was very apropos. I was treated well and enjoyed it -- all except the part where I dropped my glasses case on the floor during a quiet part of the service!

    I am not Roman Catholic, but chose the church because it is very racially diverse and I had always wanted to visit it.

    I believe that God knows what is in our hearts and what matters most is how we treat others. This experience reinforced that belief.