Monday, January 28, 2013

Your Wish Is My Command


I received a great response to my call for topics that you readers would like me to write about or expand upon. Thank-you!

There are so many things to cover that I will be busy for days addressing your questions and suggestions. So without further adieu, let me begin.

Got My Back

Jan Brown wrote, "...a while ago, you alluded to a tool (razor) to shave your back without help. Could you please explain more with pictures."

The tool is the Mangroomer and instead of reinventing the wheel, I direct you to the Mangroomer webpage that does a very good job of describing the device with numerous photos and a video.

By the way, the current Mangroomer is not your father's Mangroomer. It is an improved model that has features that the older model I own lacks like a longer reach and a rechargeable battery. 

Got My Voice

Belinda wrote, "I would be interested whether you have done anything about your voice, and if so what. I know that my voice generally gives me away, but generally women are more social especially with other women. I feel inhibited though, but I don’t feel natural trying to speak girlishly. I would be interested in your experiences."

Many years ago, I bought Melanie Anne Phillips VHS video course "Melanie Speaks," which was intended to teach you how to speak like a woman. I watched the video and was duly impressed, but finding free time to practice with the video at home was a problem. So I copied the audio portion of the course to a cassette tape and practiced during my 35-minute commute to and from work every weekday.

In no time, I got the hang of the course and the voice that came out of my mouth was scary... in a good way! I sounded like a natural born woman!

The only problem was that I felt "silly" using my new voice when I was en femme. Isn't that ridiculous? Here I am, a 6-foot-2 femulator dressed to the nines, but speaking like a woman made me feel silly!

To avoid feeling silly, I convinced myself that I could get away using my natural male voice when I was en femme. Since my male voice is not decidedly masculine and I am soft-spoken, I usually got away with it. So I took the easy way out even though I knew I could do better.

All that was before I realized I was really a trans-woman and not a "plain vanilla crossdresser" as I used to refer to myself. As a trans-woman, I felt that it was time to get more serious about my voice and I now use the female voice I found using the "Melanie Speaks" course.

I am getting better all the time, but occasionally I forget myself and lapse into my old ways. So I must continually make a conscious effort to speak all the time the way Melanie taught me.


  1. Stana -

    I've heard your male voice at Fantasia Fair. Why not record your female voice for the rest of us to hear? It'd be great to hear how far you've come in femulation.


  2. Dear Stana,

    I rarely go out “en femme” alone or with just one or two other girls (either TG or GG). I try to use a softer voice (both volume-wise and presentation-wise) in these situations. I certainly do not use a “Monty Python-esque ladies in drag” falsetto. I also try to put more lilt in my vocal presentation, and use more feminine words and phrases (like “lovely”, “isn't that top cute [or sweet]”, etc.).

    However, the vast majority of my time “en femme” is with a medium to large size group of transgendered girls (at social/support group gatherings or TG conferences like Southern Comfort Conference). Strangely, only a tiny percentage of them (maybe 1% or 2%) make any attempt to talk as a woman. The other 98-99% talk in their regular masculine (and sometimes very macho) voices and styles. Like you, in these situations I feel embarrassed or silly trying to be the only one to speak as a woman, so I just talk in my regular guy voice and style. This is such a strange phenomenon – here we are, a group of males dressed and made-up completely as women, and yet we seem to be afraid of trying to sound like a woman. A friend, though, posits that perhaps it may be more honest to talk in our life-long manner, albeit a very male sounding one.

    I would love to hear your opinion and that of some of your readers as to whether it's more honest to use your regular male voice and style or adopt a “practiced” female voice and style while “en femme”, or something in-between.



    1. Regarding which voice to use, I guess it depends on your intention. If you want to show civilians that it should be acceptable for males to dress like females, then a male voice would be appropriate, but if you are trying to be a lady among the civilians, then a female voice would be appropriate.

  3. Got the mangroomer what a blessing,thanks,found it in store for 19.95 instead of the 49.95 listed on the link.

  4. Thanks for directing me here Stana. Think I will buy “Melanie Speaks” and actually do it. Like the idea of listening to it in the car.