Thursday, November 29, 2012



I left you yesterday as the snow turned to rain by the time I got to New Haven to do outreach at Southern Connecticut State University on Tuesday.

I always hope that my visit to the university starts on a positive note when I drive into the school's parking lot and get stopped by the security guard manning the entrance to the lot. Using my soft effeminate voice, I explain to the guard I am speaking to a class at 12:25 and the guard usually responds as sweet as he can be, directing me to the area where I can park, while calling me "Miss" the whole time.

The rain was heavy, but I was lucky and found an empty spot in the lot about 20 steps away from the entrance of the building where I was doing outreach. A quick mad dash (in heels) from my car to the entrance left me mostly dry.

I was the first to arrive, but shortly was joined by the professor and other speakers, both male-to-female like me, but full-time female unlike me. One is older and one is younger than me and I have done outreach with them countless times.

There were about 30 students in the class and they listened politely as each of us gave our trans biographies in a nutshell. Then the students asked us questions and before you know it, the period was over and the next class of 30 or so students replaced the first 30 and we did it all over again. The only difference was that in the second class, a student who is male-to-female joined us.

Students in both classes asked how we came up with our female names and asked me specifically about my nails ("If you only dress as a female a few times a month, what do you do about your manicured/painted nails the rest of the time?")

One student asked how sexually active we were in our youth. (One of us was very promiscuous, the others not so much.)

Another student asked how many wigs I own. (I have lost count, but said I have about a half dozen that I consider my "currently active" group of wigs.)

There were a few questions with a similar theme, that is, what we thought of the current state of acceptance of transgenders in society.

There were other questions, but I don't recall them now.

After each class, we make ourselves available in case any student wants to talk with us. I look forward to the one-on-one and it occurred once after each class on Tuesday. After the first class, a female student came up to me and complimented me on my nails and my appearance in general. After the second class, a female student thanked me for coming to the class to speak.

I decided to drive home immediately after the second class instead of hanging back to read the student's impressions of us. Although it was raining in New Haven, it was likely still snowing in the direction I had to travel. Leaving right after the class permitted me to avoid the rush hour.

I said my goodbyes and when I exited the building, I discovered that the rain was now mixing with snow. (The classroom we were in is in the basement and has no windows, so we were in the dark about the weather.)

Snow was starting to accumulate on the ground in New Haven, but not on the roads and that is what I found all the way home, so traveling was not a problem.

It was another great day out for me and I hope doing outreach opened more eyes about transgenders in a positive way.

(I have told my outreach stories many times in the past and it has become old hat for me, but maybe not for you. If you want me to expand on anything or if you have any specific questions, let me know and I will gladly write more.)


  1. Please keep providing fully detailed reports of all of your outreach sessions. While they may seem somewhat repetitive, since in fact they are somewhat repetitive, it is good to read them and they serve as a reminder that every day things are progressing forward and that the world is becoming more accomodating to folks like us. I believe that every time any one of us has a positive experience with a civilian it is good for all of us.
    Keep up the good work and I am sure that what you do will inspire others of us to get out and about as our acceptance in society grows.

  2. Without reservation you inspire. Because of your efforts acceptance of trans-women is just around the corner! Kudos to you, Stana!