Thursday, December 15, 2011

And There's More

My Wednesday en femme did not end at the copying machine in my alma mater's law library.

As I exited the law school, I asked the security guard, who had been very personable so far, if she would take my photo. She was happy to do so and was even willing to go outdoors to take it.

It was a beautiful December day, so we decided to do the photoshoot outdoors. The photo accompanying this post is from that shoot and is a rare photo of me with eyeglasses on.

I thanked her for her hospitality and left the school.

It was 10:45 AM and I was all dressed up, but had nowhere to go!
Actually I had two plans in mind. I considered visiting the beautiful mall in Holyoke, which was just 20 minutes from the law school. But I was not in the mood to spend the rest of the day shopping.

Plan B was to visit Mohegan Sun to check out the new Sephora store there and to play some slots. It was an hour drive, but it was a beautiful day for driving and I was in the mood.

The casino was very quiet. I know that the casino has been hurting, but I have never seen it so deserted. The casino used to be vibrant and exciting (to me). Yesterday, it was kind of sad. I played a few slots, but I just went through the motions for about an hour and lost more than I won.

Since I was not having much fun playing slots, I decided to find the new Sephora store and have fun with makeup. Shortly after entering the store, a saleswoman approached me, said she "loved" my shoes, and offered assistance.

I asked about advances in foundations and she said that the one I was using (Laura Mercier powder foundation) was still the best. Then I asked her to give me her opinion of my visage. She immediately mentioned the sun damage on the sides of my neck.

All of the foundations I have tried only cover the damage temporarily and sooner or later (usually sooner), the red skin shows through. She suggested I try using a color correcting foundation primer from Smashbox. It is green and it goes on where needed before the foundation. She sold me on it and that is what I carried home in my little Sephora bag.

As I exited the store, both of my feet cried "Uncle!"

By that time, I had worn my new to-die-for patent red and black Nine West Mary-Janes for over six hours without a problem. I had walked all over the law school and casino and had driven over two hours in a standard transmission vehicle wearing them without a complaint. I had even remarked to myself how comfortable they were. Now, suddenly, my feet were screaming.

I had brought along my backup comfy mid-heel Mary-Janes, but they were in my Subaru parked at the other end of the casino (and Mohegan Sun happens to be the second largest casino in the USA).

I considered walking barefoot, but I didn't, so I walked very slowly and sat down a couple of times along the way. As soon as I got to my car, I put on my comfy Mary-Janes and they felt like bedroom slippers in comparison to my Nine West Mary-Janes.

I love my Nine West Mary-Janes and will not hesitate to wear them again, but only for shorter stints --- not all day long like yesterday.

I drove home and my day en femme was over.

All the people (male and female) who I encountered yesterday were polite, often friendly, and always helpful when I needed their assistance. I don't know if I passed or not and whether passing had anything to do with their reaction to me.

I have reached a stage in my life in which passing is not a deal breaker.

When I prepare to go out, I do my best to be passable. I try to be impeccable in my dress and makeup and make sure that there is not a hair out of place, but once I am out the door, I stop being concerned about passing.

I used to be very shy when I was en femme fearing that everyone I encountered would read me. If they seemed ok with me, then I would open up and be more like myself, but if they were not ok with me, I would get out of Dodge as quickly as possible

Now, I am personable to everyone I encounter. I don't wait to see how they react to me.

I believe that by being personable and outgoing, it surprises people and they react positively whether they read me or not.

And I don't even think about it. That's the way I am in boy mode and now that I am free of the shackles of passing, I can also be myself in girl mode.


  1. Stana, Well I wondered which school in Springfield you had attended for Law. Now I know. I grew up about a mile away from there. It is there that I started
    CDing. Did you see much of the damage from the tornado? The last time I was by, there were still many houses in need of repair.

    Love your outfit BTW.


  2. Leann --- Thank you for the kind words! I believe that the route I took to and from WNEC (Sumner Ave & Bradley Rd) was parallel and just south of the tornado's path, so I did not see any damage.

  3. A good part of "passing" is attitude. If you want to "pass' be confident, outgoing and pleasant. Sure mannerisams and appearance help, but attitude counts for a lot.

  4. Great outfit; great day; great attitude - what more could a girl ask for?

  5. Wonderful advise on worrying about passing & just being yourself.

  6. Stana, it was great hearing about the rest of your day.

    To echo Leann, I love your outfit (and I remembered how cute those black and red Mary Janes were even without the link).