Saturday, April 16, 2011

Transitioning Smart

Calie of Calie's Chronicles fame has an excellent post about using your head if and when you transition.

I highly recommend it and urge you to read her wise words.


  1. Wise words indeed. The only issue I can think of is the statement "I've seen those who could never pass." Passing is almost as much attitude as presentation. However, there are enough out there who don't pass well and who still make decent lives. Lynn Conway said that transitioning is like immigrating. How well you do depends somewhat on how well you assimilate to the new culture. Like some immigrants of old, some never make it past the "enclave" and for them it works. You just have to accept it.

  2. What is the auto-gyno hypothesis mentioned in the comments. I cannot find it on Google.

  3. Autogynephilia. It is a hyothesis for transsexualism promulgated by Bailey, Blanchard and Lawrence and their ilk. It has been largely discredited, but it still has adherents.

  4. @Monica - Try this:

    @Anon - You're so right and I cleared that up in a comment on my blog.

    Thanks to Stana for the post.

    Calie xxx

  5. Sure, it's important to consider your strategies for transition, but...

    The most dangerous thing in the world is to try to leap a chasm in two jumps.
    David Lloyd George

    Transition, in the end, is a leap, not a crawl. Stay too much in your head and you stay too rooted in your old defense strategies.

    You must become new, emigrate and assimilate in whole new ways, and not just try to overthink why it won't work.

    It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
    Winston Churchill

    People who try to imagine what could go wrong will always find reasons to halt. In the end, something will always go wrong, but the much, much more important thing is what does go blissfully, powerfully right.

    I have not ceased being fearful,
    but I have ceased to let fear control me.
    I have accepted fear as part of life, specifically fear of change and fear of the unknown;
    and I have gone ahead despite
    the pounding in the heart that says, turn back, turn back,
    you'll die if you venture too far.
    Erica Jong

    Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
    T. S. Eliot

    In the end, trans isn't about your head, but about your heart, and while you need to use your head, as long as your head blocks other people's view of your feminine heart, you will always fail, in a dress or not.

  6. Hi Stana,
    Obviously, "transition" does not have to be a physical process (hormones/surgery) and it should be more mental.
    I feel my "transition" is measured in public interactions. Sure looks are important but I've known a few miserable/beautiful transsexuals who are still the prettiest BOY in the room.
    To my knowledge we are similar in the fact neither have undertaken any hormones or surgery.
    Have you spoken (or wish to) what you consider your female future to be?

  7. Whilst I can see a lot of sense in the article it fails to take into account that transitioning is not a universal thing, it is very specific and personal to the individual going through that process. I don't think that there is any right or wrong way to transition - it's a deeply personal and tragically a very lonely and painful journey that we have to get through on our own, which is why it can't be "standardised" and why wise counsel, though occassionally useful, does not really apply.