Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Saturday at the Banquet

How you gonna to keep 'em down on the farm (after they've seen Paree)?

After my afternoon becoming fantastic at The Facial Clinic and Med Spa, I faced an 80-mile drive to the site of the Connecticut Outreach Society's banquet.

My afternoon at the spa ran late, so I knew I was going to be late for the start of the banquet (no way would I cover 80 miles in 65 minutes), but as Murphy would have it, things got worse.

I missed a transfer point between Interstates and was unsure of what to do for about five minutes; should keep going or turn around? Then, I recognized my location and knew how to get back to my neck of the woods. However, the error was going to cost me and I was going to be even later arriving at the banquet.

Turned out I arrived 25 minutes late. After parking the car, I gathered up my stuff, checked myself in the vanity mirror, exited the car, walked through the parking lot and into the hotel lobby. I encountered a few banquet attendees, but no civilians. The atmosphere of the hotel seemed very subdued to me.

IMG_0110c I checked in to get my meal and raffle tickets, then I encountered Diana, who was one of the banquet organizers. I asked her how many were expected to attend the banquet and she said over 55, which was typical for the past few years of the banquet.

Entering the banquet room, it seemed about half the attendees had not yet arrived and the atmosphere seemed subdued. (Was I attending a wake or a party?) I staked out a seat at a near empty table and went to the bar for a drink.

My stomach was still not up to snuff nine days after my bout with a stomach virus, so I had only one alcoholic beverage the entire evening. I also ate like a bird, barely touching the soup and main course, but indulging more in the salad and dessert. (By the way, I lost 7 pounds since the virus first struck.)

I tried to make pleasant conversation with my table mates, but something was odd. I felt out of place. I was just not into it. The girl next to me remarked, “You’re very quiet tonight.”

I felt so out of place that I almost excused myself from lip-synching the song I volunteered to perform during the entertainment portion of the evening. But I soldiered on and my turn came, I lip-synched Peggy Lee's classic version of Fever.

Although I knew the words of the song cold, I immediately messed up, snapping my fingers out of synch with the recording. I also flubbed a few words and at the end of the song. I was unhappy with my performance, yet I received a nice applause from the audience and everyone I spoke to about it said I did a good job, but I dunno.

(I asked a friend to use my camera to take some photos of my performance, but they all were out of focus, so the photo accompanying this post is another one from the spa.)

After the entertainment, I sought out my old friends to catch up with their lives. For me, chit-chatting with friends and acquaintances was the highlight of the evening. I ran out of gab and friends just past midnight and decided to depart.

I loved catching up with my old friends, but I have outgrown the banquet. It is just another closet and I am way out of the closet. I have been out in the real world interacting as a woman; I don't need a trans event to get out en femme. And I certainly don't need its safety net.

I don't rule out attending another trans event in the future, but there are many other things I would prefer to do en femme.


  1. I wish I had more time to talk to you, but I didn't want to leave Peterson alone too long. I had to leave early (even for me) because Peterson had to take a train back to PA in the morning

    I do also feel that it was more subdued this year for whatever reason.

    I feel the same way about attending, but I feel it is nice to get dressed up once in a while (you know me, I'm dressed up if I have a clean pair of jeans on) and return to my roots. I also feel that it is nice to give other members a chance to get out.

    And you were "Marvelous My Dear" I did notice anything wrong with your performance.

    P.S. I still own you a night out on the town. Maybe we can go with Robin and Arlene to the New Britain Museum of Art to there shoe exhibit.

  2. Interesting post. I have found myself in the same dilemna. There's an active group of trans-girls here in town but what little contact I have had with them has not been of much interest to me. It's like going to practice when I want to go out and do. I much prefer going out and about on my own or with a friend than attending an all trans event. Thanks for helping crystallize my thoughts.


  3. My partner and I are experiencing the same phenomenon... she is a transgender M2F, I am a natal female. We still attend some trans social functions, but are increasingly finding our way out in the "real world." Maybe this is partly because I frankly find crossdresser parties mostly pretty dull and stuffy, but also she's more confident about being out and "herself" at clubs, restaurants, and concerts. We're lucky because we live near a lively, liberal city where, at least in the hippest venues, being "trans" is not only tolerated, but seems to carry a certain cachet.

  4. My recent experience has been similar... Gretchen