I want to live more authentically than I have been living so far. I want to present as a woman as often as possible, certainly more often than I do now.
One thing that has been holding me back is work. I fear that my secret identity could come back to haunt me and that I could lose my job.
For many months, I considered going to Human Resources to find out if my fears were justified. I finally got fired up enough to do it on Friday.
I have known my HR representative for about ten years. She even saw me dressed en femme at the company Halloween party years ago. So I figured she would not be surprised when I told her that I was transgender, but she was.
We discussed my concerns in confidence. She assured me that the company had a policy that supported diversity among its employees and that my expression of diversity (in or out of the workplace) would never be grounds for dismissal.
I was relieved and elated.
She said she welcomed me to discuss the matter with her further ar any time I wanted. Then she complimented me for having the courage to broach the subject with her. I thanked her, but added that I did not think I was being courageous, I was just trying to be me.
I was so thrilled about the outcome of my meeting with HR that I decided to come out to a friend at work.
In case you don't recall, another friend invited me to attend a Landmark meeting in September, which I went to en femme. While listening to the presentation, I noticed a friend from work sitting one row in front of me, but too far away for her to notice me or for me to get her attention.
I lost track of the presentation and thought about her and me. She is a real cool person, open-minded, intelligent, and one of the friendliest people at work. I decided that during the upcoming break, I would come out to her.
At the break, she left abruptly, never returned, and I missed my chance. I thought about bringing up my missed opportunity to her a number of times and never did. But I was on a roll on Friday, so not long after my meeting in HR, I went to my friend to reveal my secret identity.
She was thrilled that I came out to her. She had a lot of questions about my secret identity and we had a good time talking about my life in high heels.
I showed her some of my photos and she said that she would have never recognized me in my secret identity. She added that I looked "lovely" and so comfortable in my female presentation.
What a day! I felt so good about what I did and how everything turned out... so good that I felt like a new person; I felt reborn.
And isn't that apropos because today is my birthday!