Paula sent the following e-mail in response to "my rebirthday" post:
I have some questions. They may best be answered in a blog entry rather than in a reply to me, since many other readers likely have the same questions.
1. Does this mean you now have a "green light" to dress as a woman at your job whenever you like?
2. If so, are you going to do from here on out? I would think you would need to do it every day, as it would be confusing to your co-workers to see you in guy mode some days, then gal mode other days.
3. What does your wife think of this new development?
4. Are you now going to dress as a woman 24/7? At work and away from work?
Along with the multitude of preparations genetic women perform getting ready to go out, you of course have some extra ones:
1. You have to shave your face extra-close at least once a day and wear a makeup foundation to cover any traces of stubble.
2. You may have to shave your chest and shoulders/arms.
3. You have to tuck or at least wear a snug panty girdle or gaff even if its uncomfortable or hot.
4. At least you don't have to use breast forms!
5. You have to maintain a wig - cleaning, styling, etc.
6. You may have to wear foundations to give you a womanish figure.
7. Hot weather may make several of these measures very uncomfortable. Would you dress as a woman anyway, regardless of the discomfort.
I'm just wondering if doing this continual effort, day after day, would become burdensome, and result in you taking some short-cuts and a more simplified, casual presentation (like so many women today adopt).
I did not discuss traffic lights when I spoke with HR. I am out in a lot of ways and I'd like to be out more, but one thing that has been holding me back is repercussions at work if I am discovered.
So, I spoke with HR to find out if there would be any repercussions. My HR rep assured me it was against company policy. She told me that if anything came up in the workplace that bothered me concerning my being out, that I should complain to HR and they would squash the problem.
I told her that I had no plans at this time to dress as a woman at work. She told me that when I was ready to discuss the matter further, she welcomed me to talk with her. She was very positive and if I decided to present as a woman at work, she wanted me to talk with her about it first in order to pave the way and make my journey as smooth as possible.
That kind of makes your other questions moot, but I agree that if I did begin dressing at work, I would do it every day rather than switch teams one day to next.
I am well aware of the maintenance involved regarding hair. Having had a taste at living 24/7 for short stints, for example, 5 days in NYC and 8 days in Provincetown, I got used to the regime involved, so I don't think it would be a big deal. Also, living full-time would probably move me to seek out permanent hair removal.
I always wear a girdle (just like any proper circa-1960's woman should), so that takes care of the tucking issue.
Full-time, I would probably grow my hair out and eliminate the wig issue.
I have dressed in hot weather and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. And if I had to do it everyday, I would make some wardrobe adjustments to be more comfortable. Growing my hair out and discarding the wigs would make a big difference in that regard.
The bottom line is that if I lived full-time, it would be a dream come true and I would do whatever it took to make it work.
By the way, my wife's support is minimal. She knows that being female is a part of me and she accepts it, but she'd prefer if it weren't so.